Chronology of Me
2004
Dear Greg,
I hate you. You never try to listen to me. I am not lying, you are just being stupid. I hate hate hate HATE you. I am going to run away, maybe today. There is nothing you can do about it. I'd rather still be parentless than be stuck with you. I think the only thing you even want to do in life is make me miserable. I wish I could just run away and never come back. I hope you read this and feel bad. You will be the one crying when I am gone. I HATE YOU.
________________________________________________
Ah, yes, my adoptive parents, whose names I will leave out for privacy purposes. My adoptive mother is this chubby little lady who cooks the most amazing Italian food you could ever imagine. She is a sweet lady and I couldn't have asked for a better adoptive mom. The only thing I could ever say bad about her is that she let/lets me get by with way more than she should and I wish she would have restricted and disciplined me more when I was younger.
I began drinking pretty heavily around the age of 15, but she didn't really care so long as I stayed home when I did it or at least had a designated driver bring me home. Around that same time I also got into some fucked up drug phases. I would down anything I could get my hands on, anything that would even remotely alter the way my memories were being stored. Once I even stole some of her pain medication that had gotten for her back surgery. I didn't feel bad about it until she would hobble over to her medicine bottle to seek pain relief, only to find that it was empty.
I really felt like an asshole sometimes.
So for things like that, I really wish she would have been a little less forgiving and I wish she hadn't allowed some of the things that she did.
As for my adoptive father... I have a hard time finding any kind words about that man. We've honestly never gotten along, which is apparent by the entry at the beginning of this chapter.
He just carries himself in the most annoying of ways and he believes he is above everyone else. People find him to be intimidating just because he can raise his voice, throw out some threats, and get red in the face pretty much on command. But I can see through his shitty little paper thin disguise. I don't really know why he thinks he is such a badass, but whatever it is gives him this false belief that he can be a dickhead to everyone.
Do I hate the guy?
No.
Do I love him?
No.
I hate you. You never try to listen to me. I am not lying, you are just being stupid. I hate hate hate HATE you. I am going to run away, maybe today. There is nothing you can do about it. I'd rather still be parentless than be stuck with you. I think the only thing you even want to do in life is make me miserable. I wish I could just run away and never come back. I hope you read this and feel bad. You will be the one crying when I am gone. I HATE YOU.
________________________________________________
Ah, yes, my adoptive parents, whose names I will leave out for privacy purposes. My adoptive mother is this chubby little lady who cooks the most amazing Italian food you could ever imagine. She is a sweet lady and I couldn't have asked for a better adoptive mom. The only thing I could ever say bad about her is that she let/lets me get by with way more than she should and I wish she would have restricted and disciplined me more when I was younger.
I began drinking pretty heavily around the age of 15, but she didn't really care so long as I stayed home when I did it or at least had a designated driver bring me home. Around that same time I also got into some fucked up drug phases. I would down anything I could get my hands on, anything that would even remotely alter the way my memories were being stored. Once I even stole some of her pain medication that had gotten for her back surgery. I didn't feel bad about it until she would hobble over to her medicine bottle to seek pain relief, only to find that it was empty.
I really felt like an asshole sometimes.
So for things like that, I really wish she would have been a little less forgiving and I wish she hadn't allowed some of the things that she did.
As for my adoptive father... I have a hard time finding any kind words about that man. We've honestly never gotten along, which is apparent by the entry at the beginning of this chapter.
He just carries himself in the most annoying of ways and he believes he is above everyone else. People find him to be intimidating just because he can raise his voice, throw out some threats, and get red in the face pretty much on command. But I can see through his shitty little paper thin disguise. I don't really know why he thinks he is such a badass, but whatever it is gives him this false belief that he can be a dickhead to everyone.
Do I hate the guy?
No.
Do I love him?
No.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sadly, the first entry is not an exact entry from when I was little. I was looking for that paper somewhere, but could not find it. I attempted to write it as close to the entry as possible, as I do remember being extremely pissed as a child when I wrote it. I honestly don't even remember why I was so mad or what Greg did to make me react the way I did.Anyway, thanks for the feedback on the last bit.. I appreciate it (:
-Shaun