Stick Boy and Match Girl

A pillow and my head were rested on Ryan’s lap as I looked over the wall that he was leaning against. No longer did the color of light pink brighten the room but posters of bands and pictures. It was finally Friday and we were home from school. I hated the fact that Ryan was year higher than Brendon and me, which lead to just me and him to walk home alone together. What can I say about Brendon now? He was older, taller. I guess that’s all I could say about him besides the fact he could be charmer and yes, he was my best friend.

I found my eyes opening and closing as Ryan’s fingers ran through my hair repeatedly, I could faintly hear Brendon cursing out the game he was playing. It wasn’t that much longer that everything around me was gone and I was asleep. When I woke up the room was only a bit darker and it was completely quiet, I took a shaky breath and looked over to Brendon who was spread out on the floor passed out. I felt movement behind me, knowing that it was Ryan.

I turned around in my spot and looked over his sleeping form; I brushed his sort of long hair out of his face and held it back with my hand. I rested my cheek on the palm of my free hand and looked over his face, I found myself doing this a lot lately. But it only seemed that this time he was oddly beautiful. I brought my nose to his forehead easily inhaling his scent that I now understood was just him. He started to move a little, I swallowed hard when I felt his lips on my throat. My breathing was heavily as I started to freak out and move over, not really thinking I landed on Brendon, waking him up obviously.

“Anna!!” Brendon yelled loudly sounding grumpy, he pushed me off and got up, and he stomped his way to the door and turned. He gave a small smile and walked out.

I earned an odd look from Ryan when I returned my stare to him, his hair was now falling freely into his face there was no attempt of brushing it back. I couldn’t bring my eyes to look away from him, there was a small attempt at joining him back on the bed but I ended up just leaning against it. I didn’t understand this sudden nervous and uncomfortable feeling that Ryan was causing, it wasn’t normal. I shouldn’t be nervous to be close to my best friend, I shouldn’t have to worry about my hair messy that I was trying to straight out with my fingers, he was Ryan, he didn’t care. He’s seen worst.

What’s going on? He was beautiful to me now and made me nervous? Oh no.

I took a deep frustrated breath and watched as Brendon came back to my room, he sat down in front of me. I was wondering if he too was going to me make me go bonkers about my appearance and feelings. I stared at him for a moment and looked over those big lips, brown hues and nothing. He was just my best friend who wore glasses and was the occasion jerk off.

My eyes grew huge at the sight of a bottle that contained an adult beverage, not any adult my mom’s! My head was shaking side to side to whatever Brendon was thinking; I looked at him with a scared face which filled the room with laughter from both boys.

“You cannot tell me that you’re not at least a little bit curious about this stuff,” Brendon said and opened the bottle.

“I’m not,” I told him honestly and shook my head a little. I guess it was normal for a 15 year old and a 16 year old to be curious about alcohol.

“Nothing can go wrong. Your mom isn’t here; she’s on a date so it’s all good!”

“Still, I don’t care if she’s not here. Something can go wrong, this isn’t a good idea.” I continued and eyed the bottle of course being curious.

“Oh lighten up Anna; it’s just going to be the three of us. You’ll be fine.” Ryan finally spoke; I snapped my head at him and frowned deeply. It wasn’t that often that Ryan supported one of Brendon’s ideas and when he does it had to be one the craziest ones.

I finally nodded giving into the slight peer pressure and the fact I didn’t want to look like a party pooper in front of Ryan. I didn’t get why it was like this now and it was bugging me greatly. Ryan joined us on the floor, I stared at the hand that rested on his knee as I desperately wanted to grab it and hold in my own. I wanted to cuddle close to his side and I wanted to just stare at him with no awkwardness. I wanted to be myself.

As frustration got the best of me my actions became much of blur, I was really regretting each movement when the liquor burned my throat and brought my eyes to water. I wanted to scream and I wanted to spit it out, but I couldn’t. I suppose I was waiting for answers to this confusion, expecting the liquor to slap across my face because I was being stupid.

The boys stared at me with shock expressions before laughing and taking a gulp of their own and suffering as well. It was suppose to be my turn to return the taunting laugh but I didn’t instead I took a smaller drink this feeling was unknown to me, but it was calming me. It made me forget about Ryan, my mom dating someone new that’s not my dad, my dad leaving and no longer calling me along with the small beats my mom would land on me from time to time.

An hour later we’re almost done with the bottle and the three of us we’re on a new level of hyper and it seemed like every gulp we took, took us into something more powerful. It was unexplainable. I was laughing at Brendon trying to stand and walk, he bumped into the door as he headed for the restroom, saying sentences that could not be understood. My head landed on Ryan’s shoulder as I continued to laugh, his shoulders were shaking slightly as he quietly laughed.

“Ry, what’s going on with me?” I asked confused, my laughing coming to a stop.

“You’re tipsy,” He stated.

“What’s that?”

“It’s what you’re feeling right now, but I think Brendon could be possibly drunk.” He continued, he didn’t sound like Brendon and he didn’t laugh uncontrollably like me.

“How do you know that?” I asked and looked up to him; everything was starting to spin a little.

“I just know,” He said and shrugged.

I stared at him as he looked around, I was itching to touch his cheek, kiss his lips. The feeling was back but this time, I didn’t feel uncomfortable. When he finally locked eyes with me, he didn’t smile or give a random face like he would do whenever we happened to lock eyes. My breath got caught in my throat when I felt his lips on mine, the room spun faster as our first kiss continued.

I felt his fingers wrap around my chin bringing my lips closer to his, his hand moved along my jaw line when my lips were properly pressed against his. My stomach was twisting and turning to the point where I couldn’t fully enjoy this moment. The typical cough of announcing that someone was there was heard and I was first to pull away, I looked at Brendon who smirked widely. I got up quickly and stumbled into the restroom slamming the door behind me.

Between the wonderful sounds I was making and my cries, I heard a ‘Shit,’ from either one of the boys from the now opened door. I thought this sickness would be endless, I thought I was going to die right here, right now. I promised never to drink again if this would come to end and yet again I would be saying that in the near future. My wish was granted and I was just crying I flushed the toilet and held my head; I didn’t know how teenagers did this on the weekends and made to school on Monday.

I somehow managed to brush my teeth, I looked like crap and I didn’t recognize the girl who stared back when I looked into the mirror. A pair of arms snaked around my waist and guided me back to my room and set me on my bed, I looked over Ryan’s face as he placed himself at my side and brushed my hair out of my face.

“I think I’ll stay here with her tonight, but it would be great if you say I’m still at your house.” Ryan said in a low voice.

“That’s fine man; you gotta do what you gotta for your love.” Brendon joked; he was starting to sound like himself. I guess my awesome moment in the restroom killed his drunken state.

Ryan didn’t bother to correct Brendon; he didn’t really acknowledge what he had said. His eyes were set on me concern ruled his eyes. With a quiet goodbye Brendon left along with a nickname for me, the room was completely quiet but it was still spinning. Ryan continued to run his fingers through my hair and carefully lay down next to me.

“I’m sorry I made you throw up,” Ryan whispered sadly.

“You didn’t,” I whispered back. “I just couldn’t handle the liquor.”

“You did have more than me and Brendon,”

I didn’t say anything further and only cuddled close to Ryan before the feeling of awkwardness and uncomfortable could come back. His scent wasn’t his, it was of the alcohol. I frowned at the disgusting scent that made my throat burn a little to remind me of what kind of power it had. I felt Ryan’s hand move along my back in the most comforting way, it send Goosebumps through my body.

“You confuse me Ryan,” I whispered and licked my dry lips.

“Why do I confuse you?”

“Because before today you didn’t seem all that great, you were just Ryan. That’s all. But now you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, you cause me to feel things I’ve never felt before and make me worry about the little things.” I explained. “I don’t know how to be myself anymore.” I continued and nudged my nose to his jaw line. “What are you doing to me?”

I rested my head on the pillow, my eyes closed as I started to drift off to sleep I heard Ryan’s tone but the words sounded like murmurs. I felt my lips move mindlessly as I let out the three words that I didn’t know I would tell him and actually mean them more than just my best friend. I love you.