Call It Love, Call It Lies

"Yeah, I'm not gonna be finished with that house today but Martin wants me to head back with him today so I don't miss church."

The neutral look I was working so hard to keep on my face must've slipped because he threw up his hands to indicate that he wasn't finished talking.

"But I'll probably be back Monday -"

My heart thudded harder.

" - He's got a ton of shit for me to do so I might be back and forth for a couple of weeks."

If I had been an excited fan girl or something, I would've squealed. Well, I kinda wanted to but that wouldn't be a good idea. Instead I just nodded and turned back to what I was doing. I couldn't peel the stupid grin off my face though and I'm sure he saw it.

Davi asked for a cigarette and I handed it over, feeling a exciting little spark when our fingers touched.

As thrilled as I was, I knew this was probably one sided.

He was just getting laid, I was falling for him.

I remember how hard his heart pounded while I leaned into him that night. His hands were soft and caring and he didn't rush me. I had never been with some one so sensual. He was like one of the guys in one of my romance novels almost.

Just...he wasn't trying to get me to fall in love with him.

The sound of the door closing jerked me out of my thoughts and I wanted to smack myself for day dreaming while he stood there. This was gonna get complicated, I could feel it. I just didn't want my husband hurting him even though I was pretty sure Davi could hold his own, easy.

A one night stand was one thing, but could this actually carry on for the few weeks he was actually here?? Or could we get caught?? Obviously if we weren't careful.

While my husband slept wrapped around me last night, my stomach churned. I wanted nothing more than to escape my bed and curl up on the couch with Davi, even if it was just to talk. My husband's hands on me made me sick, Davi's made me melt.

I glanced in the direction of where Davi was.

My husband was asleep. Sound asleep.

I could easily slip down there and be alone with him, uninterrupted before my father in law came into town but...

The thought of my husband waking up and catching us together was enough to stop anything my brain was planning dead in it's tracks.

I sat down heavily. Davi was leaving today. I'd see him again soon but he was still leaving.
To make myself feel a little better, or maybe unintentionally worse, I thought back to Wednesday night.

His soft words, his soft touches, the kisses, the way he held me...

Yup. I made myself worse.

I laid my head down on my arms and huffed. I remember him saying, "You aren't gonna tell anyone are you??"

I told him of course not, but my best friend's face popped up as soon as I closed my mouth.

He had grinned. "Well, I am going to tell my best friend. I tell him everything and we've got so much black mail on each other that we'd both be seriously fucked if either of us said anything. He'll call me a bastard."

I offered a small smile, unsure of what to say to that.

He shrugged. "I dunno what it is. I've destroyed two friendships doing this shit. It's like...I can't help it. They belong to someone else but I want them."

My heart had nearly stopped. Well, I wasn't the first and I wasn't going to be the last taken woman he fooled around with.

It had taken a lot of effort to stomach that and I forced it into the back of my mind.

I raised my head and stared at the empty chair he usually sat in.

I was a fucking idiot. A whore. A stupid fucking whore.

Before I knew it, the tears were streaming down my face and I hiccuped. I had really messed up this time.

I was half in love with Davi and there was nothing that could be done about it. Or was going to be done about it rather.

My father in law would be in town soon.

I straightened up and rubbed my face. I had to put on my big girl panties and deal with this. For all I knew, Davi could come back and not even speak to me. The thought of that only made my heart heavier.

Later, Davi and I were alone again.

"Are you sure you're okay with what happened??"

He hit his cigarette. "Yeah," He said exhaling. "How about you??"

"Yeah," I said slowly.

We both heard the door open and I jumped, making sure I was a safe enough distance from Davi in case it was my husband.

My father in law came around the corner and greeted us. "How did it go with Davi being here??" He asked. "I'm going to have him come back and forth for a few weeks. There wasn't any problems with him and Daniel were there??"

At that point, I faked a smile, squeaked out a "no", and forced myself to walk out of the room smoothly. I really just wanted to run.

I sat down on my bed and took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself. God, he was leaving soon.

You'll see him again. You'll see him again. You'll see him again.

...Maybe.

I heard the two of them preparing to leave and I jumped up. I didn't want to watch him leave. I didn't but I'd regret it if I didn't tell him good bye.

I turned the corner just as my father in law went through the door, with Davi close behind.

My heart dropped into my stomach. Fuck.

With his bag tossed causally over his shoulder, he paused at the door to look at me. "Bye," He gave me a little smile. "I hope you have a good weekend."

Not without you here.

"Bye," Oh I was great at faking the cheerfulness in my voice. "I hope you do too." My knees were wobbling a little and I prayed he couldn't tell.

He gave me another smile and closed the door behind him. And he didn't look back.

I ran.

I dropped onto my bed and fell back. Oh god, I think my heart was breaking.

In fact it was.

Stupid girl that I was, I had fallen in love.