Harder To Breathe
I'd Rather Suffocate Than Have You Breathing Down My Neck
His voice was like speaking through water as my anger clouded my mind. Their faces looked smug as they stared at me, ending me with their eyes. His lips moved but none of the information touched my ears, I had already heard what I needed to hear.
“We just don’t see it working out, we went for a good run, but… Brendon… This isn’t us anymore.”
“Go to hell you bastards,” I pushed past Spencer on my way to the door. “Don’t even think about showing your faces in the music industry” My voice was raw as I turned around, “I will end you.” The drum beat I thought was ensuring this was a dream and that was my theme music, was merely the anger beating through my heart. There went the last piece of hope that this wasn’t real.
Breathe. Breathe.
What if I didn’t want to breathe? All I had was music and I had trusted it in the hands of 3 other people. Two of those thought it was completely necessary for me to feel pain for some reason… The anger returned in full force furry.
Kill them
My wrist was throbbing with pain before I could even realize I had aimed my fist at the wall. Of course I wanted to turn around a throw Ryan so far out of that window , he’ll feel pain for the next 2 years as he rots in hell but he was still Ryan.. The guy I knew before all of this.
My head throbbed with the contradicting thoughts.
Hurt him
See his side
Make him feel what your feeling
Let him explain
Tear him apart
“Brendon,” Spencer’s calm voice snapped me in half.
“Leave me the fuck alone! For God’s sake!” I whipped around meeting his shocked face, a piece of me was guilty. Spencer didn’t do anything, he’s on my side yet I couldn’t find the strength to apologize.
“Brendon” Spencer turned violently as Ryan awkwardly stood in front of us. All of us stared angrily at each other. There had been a line and Ryan had crossed it.
“Get the hell away from me!”
“Brendon!”
“You stay out of this Spencer” the growl of words came with a flex of my muscles.
“C’mon Brendon, just listen”
“Fuck you, Fuck you!” My throat was burning with the acid of words I wanted to burn him with. I wanted him gone, Now.
“You need to calm down.”
“Calm down you little prick? Calm down? You need to stop before I rip your head off. You know this is all I wanted and your leaving as if it was nothing. You mean [b nothing to me, never forget that;” I turned and began to walk in long strides.
“Brendon where are you going?” Spencer’s worried voice stopped me for a second. Where was I going?
“Home.”
“You can’t we share a home and I’m going there,” I scoffed at Ryan’s vicious words.
“That’s not home, that’s hell;” for the first time Jon spoke.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. My smile became soft.
“No your not.” I said sharply.
“Just stop for a second.”
“Leave me alone Spencer, be on their side if you want but don’t get me on the dark side.” I walked down the hallway quickly throwing the bird at who ever had called me back.
I was going home, home to Sin fucking City.
“We just don’t see it working out, we went for a good run, but… Brendon… This isn’t us anymore.”
“Go to hell you bastards,” I pushed past Spencer on my way to the door. “Don’t even think about showing your faces in the music industry” My voice was raw as I turned around, “I will end you.” The drum beat I thought was ensuring this was a dream and that was my theme music, was merely the anger beating through my heart. There went the last piece of hope that this wasn’t real.
Breathe. Breathe.
What if I didn’t want to breathe? All I had was music and I had trusted it in the hands of 3 other people. Two of those thought it was completely necessary for me to feel pain for some reason… The anger returned in full force furry.
Kill them
My wrist was throbbing with pain before I could even realize I had aimed my fist at the wall. Of course I wanted to turn around a throw Ryan so far out of that window , he’ll feel pain for the next 2 years as he rots in hell but he was still Ryan.. The guy I knew before all of this.
My head throbbed with the contradicting thoughts.
Hurt him
See his side
Make him feel what your feeling
Let him explain
Tear him apart
“Brendon,” Spencer’s calm voice snapped me in half.
“Leave me the fuck alone! For God’s sake!” I whipped around meeting his shocked face, a piece of me was guilty. Spencer didn’t do anything, he’s on my side yet I couldn’t find the strength to apologize.
“Brendon” Spencer turned violently as Ryan awkwardly stood in front of us. All of us stared angrily at each other. There had been a line and Ryan had crossed it.
“Get the hell away from me!”
“Brendon!”
“You stay out of this Spencer” the growl of words came with a flex of my muscles.
“C’mon Brendon, just listen”
“Fuck you, Fuck you!” My throat was burning with the acid of words I wanted to burn him with. I wanted him gone, Now.
“You need to calm down.”
“Calm down you little prick? Calm down? You need to stop before I rip your head off. You know this is all I wanted and your leaving as if it was nothing. You mean [b nothing to me, never forget that;” I turned and began to walk in long strides.
“Brendon where are you going?” Spencer’s worried voice stopped me for a second. Where was I going?
“Home.”
“You can’t we share a home and I’m going there,” I scoffed at Ryan’s vicious words.
“That’s not home, that’s hell;” for the first time Jon spoke.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. My smile became soft.
“No your not.” I said sharply.
“Just stop for a second.”
“Leave me alone Spencer, be on their side if you want but don’t get me on the dark side.” I walked down the hallway quickly throwing the bird at who ever had called me back.
I was going home, home to Sin fucking City.