How We Knocked the World off Its Axis in Six Days

"You're dating her now?" Ryan demanded.

Brendon didn't want to be having this conversation. He sighed, averting his eyes, before immediately bringing them back up to Ryan's face. What did he have to be ashamed of? "Yeah, I am," he said defiantly. "What do you care? You dumped me, remember?"

"Yeah, like a month and a half ago."

"So? Aren't you dating Kate whasterface now?"

Ryan huffed, sitting down on the arm of the couch behind him, folding his arms across his chest. "That's different. I always have a girlfriend. You, like, never have a girlfriend."

"Well, now I do. Like I said, what do you care?" It wasn't usual for Brendon to sound so uncaring but he was beyond it at this point.

"I just thought you still loved me," Ryan murmured.

Something inside Brendon snapped and his fist connected with Ryan's jaw. They both sat there in silence, breathing heavily, Ryan's hand on his face until he stood up and left, the front door closing quietly behind him.



Ryan slipped out of Alex's bed after the older boy was asleep, gathering up his clothes and sneaking into the bathroom. When he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he didn't recognize the boy who had left his boyfriend of four years with hickeys on his neck from the guy he'd been cheating on him with for the past six months.

When he got in his car, he just drove and drove, not wanting to go home, not wanting to be alone. He could call Kate, but he didn't really like her. He could go to Brendon's, but he didn't want to take the chance of seeing a car he didn't recognize in the driveway.

So he drove and drove and ended up calling the last person in the address book of his phone. Z didn't seem to sleep.



"You just don't understand the concept of monogamy, do you?" Brendon asked, voice dry and dead, like firewood. There was no fire yet though. "Who's this new chick?"

Ryan pressed the joint to his lips, avoiding Brendon's eyes. He exhaled, sinking back into the couch. "Z Berg? From The Like. She's friends with Alex."

"Yeah, I met her that one time. I thought you were fucking Alex back then."

"I was."

Brendon sighed heavily, leaning forward and running a hand through his hair. "Why are you here, Ry?"

"I thought you said you wanted to stay friends."

"I say a lot of things."

"I still love you, you know?" Ryan finally turned to look at the boy sitting on the armchair.

Brendon just shook his head. "If that's love, Ry . . ."



Ryan was sitting on his bathroom floor, phone pressed to his ear. "If you break up with her, I'll come back," he croaked into Brendon's voicemail, before he hit the 'end' button and fell against the wall, pushing the tears down, not opening his eyes when the phone fell from his hand to the tiled floor.



Brendon nodded for Ryan to sit down on the couch, then let the dogs outside. "I'm not breaking up with Sarah," he said when he reentered the room.

Ryan looked up. He hadn't been expecting that answer. "I won't cheat this time," he whispered.

"I've heard that before," Brendon returned, sitting down next the boy on the couch.

"I mean it."

"You've given me every reason not to trust you, Ry," the younger said. His voice wasn't quite dismissive, but it was almost there. "She hasn't."

"I love you."

"I love her."

It was Ryan's turn to hit Brendon now, except it was an open-handed slap across the cheek. "You've been dating her for five days," he hissed.

Brendon narrowed his eyes. "Get out."



"Go away." Brendon had been ignoring the incessant knocking and doorbell ringing for twenty minutes before he finally stomped down the three stars on the landing and opened the door, staring at Ryan through the screen.

"I will after you let me in," Ryan said, voice hard.

Brendon hesitated, only for a minute, before stepping to the side and letting the other boy come in. "What do you want, Ry?"

"Jon and I are leaving the band."

Brendon froze, halfway through shutting the door. He didn't move for a full minute, staring at his hand on the knob, breathing, trying to remember how to stand. He looked up, eyes shining. "What?"

"We're leaving the band."

"Because I won't break up with Sarah?" Brendon whispered.

Ryan gave a weak smile and half of a laugh. "Because we don't work together anymore."

"Because you broke up with me."

"I offered to take it back."

Brendon blinked, the tears clinging to his eyelashes. One more deep breath and he pulled the door back open. "You can't do this without me, Ry," he said, voice dangerously close to breaking. "But good luck."