Flicker and Snaps

Did you know that world-wide most people kill themselves on a Monday?

Go figure, I had half a notion to hang myself right now. Here I sat on a perfectly good Monday morning at my new dinning room table. When I should have been on a bus on my way to my normal school, wearing my normal jeans, and eating my normal cereal bar. Instead I sat cross legged in a too short plaid skirt, wearing very itchy knee high socks, watching my new family eat like pigs.

If I never see another biscuit covered in gravy, or sliver of fried mush, it will be too soon.

I have to wonder if that was all they eat here?

What's it with Southern people and fried-food?

Really, so far since I've arrived we have had: fried chicken, fried mush, fried okra, fried fish, chicken fried steak, and the list goes on and on.

Really, how is Chad not diabetic?

How is he not really fat?

The image of Gage walking around 500 pounds digging into a chicken leg, flashed in my mind causing me to shiver.

Can you say, scary much?

Sighing at the realization that I was stuck with these pigs, I reluctantly took a small bite out of my almost untouched bowl of honey bunches of oats.

Chewing dramatically loud slow, I watched with a crinkled nose as my mother placed another round fried mush piece on Gage's plate.

Why so much love for lard-fried-cornmeal anyways?

Anger and jealously boiled in my blood as he smiled at her, giving her a full mouthed thanks. I could only watch in disgust as particles of partly chewed mush flew out of his mouth as he spoke.

It was like I time traveled back 60,000 and was watching a Neanderthal devour a defenseless woodland creature.

Repulsed I dropped my spoon out of my hand, causing it to land with a loud clank in my cereal bowl. Milk now sloshing on the table and on me.



"Jade! Look what you have done! Oh-my-gosh, your bus will be here in less than five minutes, and you are covered in milk. I don't know what has come over you the past few days, but Young-Lady this in unacceptable! If you miss that bus you are going to be grounded, no camera, no phone, no computer! Now march it Young-Lady and get yourself ready for school, now!" She yelled at me as she ran into the kitchen, most likely going for a dishrag to clean up the mess that I had made.

Sighing angrily I pulled myself away from the table, making sure to scrape the chair along the floor as loud as I could.

Stomping out of the room I did my best to make as much noise as possible as I went.

If I was going to be unhappy everyone was going to be unhappy.

Although once I was out of sight, and sound, I started to run. I was doing my best to not get grounded. I knew that my mom had hit her breaking point.

I could not loose my cameras, and I knew that she would really take it so, I hauled ass to get to my room.

As I ran for my bed, I threw my black backpack off my back flinging it at the door. Not wasting any time I gave little notice to the fact that it had closed my door for me.

As I pulled out the clear box under my bed, I quickly pulled my shirt off over my head. Not even bothering to waste time to put it away, or take it off properly. I left it laying on the floor as I quickly buttoned up my new starched and pressed white shirt. from the looks of things, Chad had everyone's clothing sent out. I doubt that Cicil or Gage knew how to wash a shirt, let alone iron it.

Cursing silently to myself as I heard the sound of a horn outside. I let out a frustrated grunt, as I fumbled with the last button.

I ran for my bedroom door, flinging it open I stopped in time to not, for once, run into Cicil.

Giving him an annoyed look I pushed past him. Running as fast as I could for the bus.

Let's just say that the Mary-Jane's that the school made me wear with my uniform, were not the easiest shoes to run in.

I am proud to say though that I did not fall once, or break anything as I ran through the house.

Sighing in relief I smiled as I realized that I had not missed the bus. It seemed that Gage was in a deep conversation with the woman driving the bus.

The smile that he gave me as I came towards him gave set in me a foul mood equal to the sights of the one that I had felt this morning. cheeky bastard, he thought that everything could be fixed with that smile.

I would not be charmed by such a smile.

Not from the likes of him.

Never from the likes of him.

He should've packed that smile away with his voice and hid it deep and well, because I did not want to see it.

Bitchy, perhaps; practical, always.

"As I was saying Suzette, this is my new sister Jade." Gage said adding a chuckle to his smile.

The woman behind the steering wheel nodded curtly at me, as though she excepted what Gage was saying, although did not like it all the same.

She was a plain, plump woman with bright green eyes and a cap of auburn hair that she wore in a simple bun. She was young that was true, but by the looks of things she was not using her youth for much.

A pity if you ask me.

I kept my mouth shut for the most part though, I needed to not get in trouble before I even arrived at this stupid school.

Although as I tried to push past Gage to get on the bus I gave him a sharp look. I was not able to go more than two steps though because Cicil had caught up, and rather breathlessly handed me my book bag that I had forgotten in my room.

Idiot move on my part.

How could I have forgotten my book bag?

How daft was I getting anyways?

That was the question my dear, don't you think?

Wait, what the hell was I doing talking to myself and asking myself so many questions in the first place?

The world may never know.....

On that note, I made sure to pluck a peppermint out of the slot in my bag, and quickly unwrapping it I plopped it upon my tongue allowing the bewitching taste to coat my tongue, and cloud my senses.

Taking a deep breath I tried to look for a place to sit on the bus, finding a seat alone I made a show of plopping down on the seat dramatically in a way that made it known that I was not happy with being here.

The looks I gave people made them not talk to me, happily I was content with the silence, but of course my new brother, Gage would have nothing to do with my happiness... Only with my annoyance.

Imagine my displeasure as he sat next to me, his stupid smile still upon his face. Really, who was he trying to fool with such a face? Not me I hope!

"What do you want Gage?" I asked regrettably.

"I wanted to make sure you didn't sit alone. That would be something only a cruel brother would do on his sister's first day of school. Actually I was wondering if you wanted to move and sit with my friends and I?" His voice sounded false, and almost too hopeful. I had to wonder what his true intentions were.

"I'm not your sister, I would like it if you would move your over exuberant self out of this seat." I said with little emotion, my poker face very much intact- I practically pushed him out of his seat, he only wanted to upset me.

He was a fool. He was a jerk. He was evil. He was mean. He was-He was-He was... Upset? No he was angry.

He just wanted to make me look bad. I knew people like him: overly friendly with ulterior motives.

So I was not sad to see him walk away from me. In fact I was relieved at the sight. Had it not been for Cicil taking his place I would've been giddy.

Unlike how Gage wore his over confident smile, Cicil always wore a frown.

This time his frown was more prominent than usual.

“What crawled up in your ass and died?” Cicil asked annoyance written clearly upon his face, so clear that even I was aware of the look he was giving me.

“I don't like it when people mock me, and I'm not some pushover that you guys can walk all over.” I said exasperated. I had to admit that his comment had hurt a bit. Although I tried my best to dislike all three members of my new family, I somehow hated Cicil the least.

He was not in Chad’s case; unrealistically kind, or as in Gage’s case; over-emotional and talkative. Cicil was just Cicil.

I watched as he let out a deep breath, his eyes holding emotion as he gave me a rather dark look. His lips curved drastically down. The look he was giving me made me feel guilty. Although I did my best to hold my own with the angry looks we were shooting at each other.

“By you guys, you're signaling out Gage and Chad. Not me.” He said cluing into what I had been really saying; although not directly.

“No-” I was silenced by his words that grew with anger as he shoved something in my hands.

My Earplugs

“You're rude, Chad and Gage do not deserve someone like you. They're good people, who only wanted to be happy, and even act kind towards you, and your tantrums are screwing things up for them and yourself! Not to mention taking your own mother’s happiness into accord. See what you don't get, is Chad and Gage may not really be my father and brother, but I feel closer to them then I ever did to my real family, and if you plan on marching in like the Queen of England and upsetting, my family you have another thing coming. By the way, Chad wanted me to give you these back; he knew how much you wanted to keep them, and asked your mother to give them back. Next time you want to be such a bitch, think of someone other than yourself first.” He growled grabbing his bag, standing up, and marching off, even though the bus was in motion. Maybe Cicil had balls after all.

This left me shocked, a flurry of emotion pulling at my insides. Perhaps he was more emotional than even Gage?

With the way things were going that sounded correct.

Almost too correct.

Scratch that, correct did not do the situation justice, it was none other than a fact!

A, cold-hard-non-changeable-never-failing-fucking-fact.

Why me?

Why this?

Why now?

Oh, Bother.....

Did this mean that I had to start to be nice to Chad? Maybe not, but I could not get over the fact that he, not my mother or even myself, had gotten my earplugs back. He did not have to do it. In fact if he was trying to ruin my life, keeping those away from me, would be a good way to do it.

Guilt rose in my throat, threatening to suffocate me. Yes, I Jade, felt guilty for my harshness towards Chad.

I knew that I should discredit what he was saying, but I couldn’t. In fact, I could not think of one thing to put into this that did not make me look like a bad person.

It would be a leap to say that I planned on being the perfect step-daughter, but I might have to slip a 'thank you,' in at the end of dinner tonight.

It seemed to be the only thing that would make sense at this point.

At the moment I should've probably said sorry to Cicil and Gage, but I was too content with sticking with my pride.

Sighing with delight I placed my earplugs in my ears, the silence that followed became a solace for me.

Yet something was not right. A tugging at my heart made me feel as though something was not right. Not right in me, not right with things. Just simply not right.

Looking back I saw that Cicil was sitting talking away with friends as was Gage, although with different groups all together. The seat next to Gage put holes in the back of my head, as it was empty.

His eyes flashed once to me. An uncertain look upon his face. One that I could not read.

I had to wonder if I would be able to ever understand what people were thinking.

Perhaps never.

Maybe that was the way things needed to be.

All I knew is that I had a choice to make, should I apologize? Or sit by myself?

Maybe it was time to shock Cicil and Gage?

Sometimes Jade can play nice too, If I put my mind to it.