Maybe Holding Hands Wasn't Such a Good Idea

In the early, dark predawn hours of Monday morning as I was laying beneath my green coverlet wide awake, I was determined that I wouldn’t let the stress that made me literally sick last week get me down this week. I needed to be at my best, prepared to play my A-game if I was to get through this week and Saturday’s homecoming dance, which I still needed to go dress shopping for.

I was able to talk myself up as I waited for the sun to rise. Since I had been able to make it through last week without raising suspicion in anyone, it made feel more secure about the week to come. What also helped to distract my nerves, was knowing that my parents would be coming back home on Friday. As much as I admired what they did, helping out the sick and finding ways to get people in other countries better healthcare, I still missed them and couldn’t wait to see them. Hopefully, they would stick around for awhile before leaving again.

I started as the alarm on my phone began blaring on my bedside table. I shook my head at myself as my heart rate slowed its wild cadence in my chest. I didn’t think so much time had passed when I was lost in thought. I shut it off and sent Kara a text, letting her know that I wasn’t going to be dropped off at her house this morning before putting my phone back on the table. I stretched my arms over my head and then pushed the blanket off of me. After I grabbed a bra and a pair of panties I took a quick shower and then got ready for school.

“How are you feeling, Liv?” Carver asked when he walked into the kitchen seeing me seated on the counter eating my cereal.

I shot him a smile. “I’m feeling great.”

Carver’s eyes scanned my face and he seemed satisfied and smiled back at me. “Good, I hate it when you’re sick.”

“I know.” I rolled my eyes at him. “You told me last night.”

Carver walked up to me and ruffled my hair. “It’s a statement that bears repeating. Maybe the next time you get sick, you won’t force me to leave the premises.”

“Hey!” I protested in mock outrage and moved out of his reach and straightened out the mess he made of my hair. “You know I only made you go because I knew how much you needed to go out and get in touch with nature and all that male macho crap.”

“I’m just glad that Matt didn’t let you get away with trying the same shit on him,” Carver said as he started making himself a cup of espresso. The smell of the unbrewed caffeine permeated the air heavily with its rich aroma. “I have to admit, knowing that he was here looking after you definitely put me somewhat at ease. Of course, that’s after I fought off my gut reaction of getting back here as quickly as I could just to see for myself that you were fine.”

I froze with my spoonful of Lucky Charms halfway to my mouth, droplets of milk dripping over the smooth silver edge of my spoon and landing back in the bowl, marking my face with splashes of milk. It took me a long moment to find my voice. I swallowed my past the dryness of my mouth and took a deep, fortifying breath.

“How did you know that Matt was here this weekend?” I meant for my question to come out strong and brazen but my voice was nothing more than a slightly breathless whisper. Honestly, I was surprised that Carver was being so calm toward me when he knew Matt was here with me all weekend.

Alone.

With absolutely no supervision from anyone whatsoever.

All weekend.

Carver looked over at me and laughed, loudly. “Baby girl, you look like someone caught you with your hand in the cookie jar before dinner.”

I set my cereal down and got off of the counter, crossing my arms over my chest, staring at Carver with my most unamused expression awaiting his answer.

“Brrrr,” Carver mock shivered and rubbed his hands over his arms to further his bit as he hunched over into his stomach as though he was being buffeted by subzero winds. “Feels like the Arctic winds are a blowin’ in here. Seriously, Liv, warn a guy before you unleash that kinda stare on him.”

When I remained unfazed by Carver’s antics, he straightened up and busied himself with making his coffee. I stared at his back, trying to will him to start speaking with the power of my mind.

Carver sighed and then turned back to face me, his steaming coffee mug held in his large hand. “Matt called me Friday evening,” he started and his face contorted into an annoyed grimace. “That kid has some serious balls on him. But I have to admit, I admire him for saying half the shit he said to me,” he grumbled. “Of course, had we been talking in person, I can’t say I’d remain as civil as I was over the phone.”

I could hear a genuine sliver of respect in Carver’s tone as he talked about Matt and I blinked hard in surprise. “Why did he call you?”

“Honestly? Mostly to cut into me for leaving you home sick alone while I went on vacation,” Carver shook his head. “Like I actually wanted to leave you alone here. I was worried about you the entire time I was gone. What if something had happened to you? My friends were severely annoyed with me. They threatened to tie me to a tree if I couldn’t calm down.”

“I told Matt that I made you go.”

Carver shot me a placating smile. “I know, he told me, but that still didn’t stop him from trying to shame the hell out of me over the phone. Anyway, after he got done with his rant, he wanted to know how to take care of you and what I usually did for you when you were sick. So I told him and then he would call me every once in a while and let me know how you were doing.”

That explained how Matt knew which medications I preferred to take, all of the honey and lemon flavored cough drops and the occasions I would wake up to find dampened towels on my forehead. “Before or after I called you to let you know how I was feeling?”

“I’m guessing Matt called me whenever you were able to sleep.”

“He didn’t tell me that he had talked to you,” I said lowering my arms and nibbling on my bottom lip.

“He was kinda worried about you. He said you had a high fever on Friday and he didn’t know how to bring it down and break it.” Carver smiled over at me. “But you’re fine now and no longer sick and as much as I hate to give Matt credit, or owe him one, he did well.” The words came out strained as though sticking in Carver’s throat as he forced them out.

I looked down as a blush warmed my cheeks when I was sure that I had the reaction under control, I looked back up at Carver. “So does this mean that Matt’s on your good side?”

Carver took a slow sip of his coffee and frowned thoughtfully. “Let me put it to you this way, while I won’t be forgetting walking in on you two making out anytime soon, he’s no longer on my shit list. Now, that doesn’t mean that I like the kid or anything, but I have a small amount of respect for him. And after taking care of you all weekend,” he shrugged. “It’s kinda hard for me to dislike him as much as I used to.”

I bit my lips to keep from smiling at Carver’s grudging words. Matt may not be on Carver’s shit list anymore but that didn’t mean that Carver would appreciate being indebted to Matt for looking after me. I can’t think of anything that bothers Carver more than having to owe anyone anything. Especially someone like Matt, who he isn’t too fond of.

“I better get going,” I said picking up my backpack from the chair, wincing slightly as it bumped against my still bruised shoulder. I said a short goodbye to Carver and scowled as I remembered how I got the still bothersome bruise. While it didn’t hurt as much as it did last week, it still smarted every once in a while, especially when I forgot about it being there and flung my backpack on carelessly.

I walked down the drive, coffee in hand for James, and faltered midstride as I realized how little time had actually passed since that afternoon when Tiffany pushed me into my locker. It seemed like so much had happened since then and the days felt longer than they actually were.

“Good morning, James,” I said as I settled into my seat of the black sedan.

“Morning, Liv. I’m sorry that I couldn’t pick you up on Friday,” he said taking the coffee I handed him. “I honestly didn’t think it would take me so long to—”

“Don’t worry about that,” I smiled at him. “I was able to find a ride and everything’s fine, okay?”

James nodded in understanding and smiled at me. “So how was your weekend?”

“Good. I slept a lot and basically stayed in bed all weekend.”

“Good to hear, kid. You’re looking much better today,” he remarked. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better than new,” I answered sincerely as we came to a red light.

James and I continued to chat about nothing in particular as he drove me to school.

“Will I be picking you up today?” He asked as I unbuckled my seat belt.

I paused to think for a moment. “I don’t think so. I’ll text you before school’s over to let you know for sure.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Have a good day.”

“You too,” I said as I closed the door to the car and started to walk the remaining two blocks to school.

As I walked through the student parking lot, my eyes scanned the cars and trucks looking for both Tyler’s red Mustang and Matt’s grey truck. Upon seeing neither, I kept on walking towards my locker to get the things I would need for my next few classes.

“Morning, Liv,” Jimmy said as he slung his arm around my shoulder and shortened his stride to match mine.

“Hey, Jim,” I said smiling up at him. “How’re things with you?” I asked as we walked through the halls.

“Eh, could be worse. So you and Matt were shacked up all weekend, huh?” He wiggled his eyebrow suggestively. “That must have been...nice.”

I chuckled and shrugged his arm off of my shoulder; I hoped my blush wasn’t too red as I felt the familiar burn on my cheeks. “Real subtle, Jimmy.”

Jimmy smirked at me and waited for my answer.

“I was sick all of last week, Jimmy. Do you really think Matt and I had sex all weekend when I was feverish?”

“Yeah, I bet it was pretty, hot,” he grinned, laughing at his own joke.

I rolled my eyes. “You know what I meant.” My voice was a little raspy as I continued to talk and I reached into my purse for a cough drop. As Jimmy and I neared my locker I saw a piece of paper stuck to it and figured that Tyler left it for me.

As I stood in front of my locker and read the note, I stiffened and heard Jimmy curse vehemently by my side. With a shaky hand, I pulled the note down and reread the short sentences that had already burned themselves into my mind.



It wasn’t signed, but there was only one person I could think of who would leave this for me; Tiffany. I turned the note over and there was a picture of my house and I felt my mouth go dry. I hadn’t realized it, until after I saw the photo of my house, that there had been a tiny bit of hope in my mind that Tiffany had been bluffing about knowing where I lived.

“Is that really your house?” Jimmy asked as we stared down at the photo.

I nodded and quickly shoved the note into the smallest compartment my backpack and forced myself to look calm, like absolutely nothing was wrong with me and I hadn’t just been threatened in note form. I opened up my locker and grabbed my books for my morning classes. Out of the corner of my eye, Jimmy had his phone pressed to his ear and was pacing back and forth, talking in hushed whispers to the person on the other line.

When his blue eyes landed on me, I waved and jerked my head letting him know that I was taking off. Jimmy shook his head at me and held his hand up at me in the classic ‘just a minute’ gesture while he nodded his head and continued talking on the phone.

I leaned against my locker while I waited and the words from the note flashed in my mind and I had to control the shiver that went through my body. Tiffany knew where I lived. Okay, she was definitely scarier than I gave her credit for.

“Liv?” Jimmy called to me, gaining my attention. “I was just talking to Matt and told him about the note. He said he’d be here soon and for us just to wait for him here.”

I nodded my head. “Okay,” I said as I moved across the hall and sat down on the bench that was across the lockers. Jimmy, however, decided to pace back and forth in the hallway as we waited for Matt to show up. Neither Jimmy nor I said anything as we waited there and watched the kids in the hall laugh and joke around with their friends in their groups. For them, this day was going to be just like any other, pop quiz in algebra, copying someone else’s science homework, acing or failing a test.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t so sure what the rest of my day had in store for me. All I did know for sure is that I couldn’t handle anymore curveballs thrown at me.

“You have an awesome house, by the way.”

“Thanks,” I said quietly and then went back to my people watching. A few minutes had passed before I heard Matt’s tense, raspy voice over the indistinct din of the hallway.

“Where is it?”

I looked up and saw Matt and Kara walking toward Jimmy and I. Silently, I pulled the note from my backpack and handed it to Matt. Jimmy stopped his pacing as he and Kara leaned over Matt’s shoulder to read the piece of paper. Matt flipped it around quickly and he frowned as he looked down at the picture of my house.

Kara sat down next to me. “Are you okay, Liv?”

I kept my eyes on my clasped hands in my lap and nodded. I felt a dull thud pounding in my head and closed my eyes against the pain. Matt still hadn’t said anything and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.

The bell rang then and my eyes opened and I noticed Matt staring intently at me. “We should get to class,” he said quietly.

I nodded and stood up. Kara gave me a hug and Jimmy saluted me before he and Kara took off for their classes. I shared another look with Matt and started to walk to my first period before Matt stopped me.

“Let’s get out of here.”

My eyes widened at his suggestion. “You want me to ditch? I’ve never ditched a day in my life.”

“Given the circumstances, I’d say you’ve got the perfect reason to. Besides, your teachers will probably think you’re still sick and didn’t come in today.”

I contemplated quickly for a moment, worrying my bottom lip with my teeth gently. “Where are we going to go?”

“I don’t know yet. We’ll drive around for a bit and then decide,” he said quietly as the hall began to empty. “Come on, before we get caught,” he reached for my hand and led me out of the building.

Matt and I didn’t speak as we made our way to the parking lot. We had been driving for about five minutes before I broke the silence.

“Why did you want to leave school?”

Matt shrugged. “Seemed like the thing to do.”

When I didn’t say anything, Matt reached over and held my hand. I hadn’t realized how cold my own hands were until I felt the warmth from Matt’s hand around mine. He pulled into a small shopping area’s parking lot and parked his truck.

Matt didn’t look at me but continued to look straight ahead as he began speaking quietly. “Look, Liv, I know that this sucks because it means that even though we’ve been careful, that Tiffany’s been following us around and we didn’t even know.

“I would understand if you wanted to back out and not help me anymore. I wouldn’t hold it against you either. I should have never involved you in my problems in the first place.”

While Matt had been talking about ending our fake relationship, his hand tightened around my own, belying his words.

A few moments had passed and I still didn’t say anything. I was thinking about Matt’s words, Tiffany’s threat, what I should do, what I shouldn’t do, all of these thoughts created a whirlwind of doubt in my mind.

“Liv?”

I looked up to see Matt’s gaze on my face. “You want out.”

It wasn’t a question.

Taking a deep breath, I shook my head slowly. “No.”

Matt’s eyes widened slightly in surprise at my answer. “But I thought that—”

“I made you a promise, Matt, and I never go back on a promise.”

Matt looked relieved as he smiled widely at me, he pulled me into a hug before I knew what was going on. “Thank you,” he whispered.

We pulled apart and Matt turned his truck back on. “I’ll make sure that you have nothing to worry about, Liv.”

I looked out of the window as he reversed out of the parking spot. “Can we just not talk about this anymore, please? I just don’t want to think about Tiffany. Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?” He asked as he left the shopping area and headed toward the main part of town.

“Carver told me that you talked to him on Friday.”

I saw Matt stiffen slightly in his seat. “He did?”

I chuckled. “Relax, Matt. Carver likes you, more than he told me he does and more than he’s willing to admit to himself. He definitely respects you for sticking up to him for me and for looking after me this past weekend. Although, I wouldn’t be waiting for a friendship bracelet if I were you; Carver’s not exactly in a friendly mood.”

“Did he tell you what I said?”

“No, he just said you chewed him out. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. Hey, I’m hungry, do you want to go to Nicky’s?”

“I could eat.”

Matt and I spent the morning at a booth at Nicky’s diner, eating some breakfast, talking and joking around. Not once did Tiffany, or anything else, cross my mind as I sat across from Matt at the table as we enjoyed the great food.