Maybe Holding Hands Wasn't Such a Good Idea

The drive was quiet; Tyler didn’t have the radio on. We could both hear my cell phone vibrating loudly in my pocket every few minutes. I didn’t bother taking my phone out of my pocket; both Tyler and I knew who was calling me.

Matt.

My mind was a complete jumbled, hazy mess. My thoughts swirled around my head like smoke, unable to take a solid shape, becoming vapor that disappeared quickly when I concentrated too hard on any particular thought. Matt. Tyler. Tiffany. Coach. Kara. Carver. Me.

“Liv.”

I turned to face Tyler. “Yes?”

“We’re here.”

I looked around and noticed that we were in fact parked at the curb of my house. “Thanks for the ride.”

“You really love him, don’t you?”

My hand froze on the door handle and I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. My silence was just as good as a complete confession, however.

“Figured you did,” he said softly in a resigned voice.

“Did Coach really ask you to ask me out so you could get my parents to fund that new stadium?” The words tumbled from my mouth quickly like word vomit and I closed my eyes. I didn’t know why I had just asked Tyler that. I wasn’t ready to know the truth just yet, even if I had an inkling of what his answer would be.

Tyler looked down at his hands; his head hung low in shame. “Yes.” The word came out quietly but strongly.

“How could you do that to someone?” I asked in disbelief. “How could you do that to me? If you had just asked me, as a friend, I probably could have gotten my parents to donate the money in the first place. They were looking for a new project at the time anyway. You didn’t have to lie about being in love me that whole time.”

“I wasn’t lying, Liv. Not the entire time, just at the beginning. I am still in love with you. And I am so sorry that I used you, you have no idea.”

I opened my mouth but Tyler held up his hand stopping my words.

“Please, just let me say this. I’ve needed to say this for a while now.”

I merely nodded and crossed my arms over my chest.

Tyler took a deep breath and expelled it quickly. “Coach put it in my head that I needed the stadium to impress the scouts, that I deserved to be seen by the best in the best possible setting.

“You saw that old stadium for yourself, Liv. It was falling apart and no amount of elbow grease or a fresh coat of paint was going to make it look any better. I let Coach get to me. I didn’t know you then, you were just some girl. The plan was for me to get you to fall in love with me, get the money for the new stadium and then dump you as soon as construction was done,” he sighed and rubbed his hands over his face roughly.

“But the more time we spent together,” Tyler said softly. “The more I started to like you. I fell in love with you inside of three weeks and I felt so guilty knowing that I was lying to you and using you for a goddamn stadium. I felt like the world’s biggest prick.

“I tried to make it up to you,” Tyler continued. “I tried being the person you deserved to be with. That’s why I was always sending you flowers and leaving notes on you locker. But it only made me feel more and more guilty.”

Tyler looked over at me for the first time since he started talking and I could read the depth of his guilt swimming in his blue eyes. My heart weighed heavily in my chest as he stared at me that tortured expression.

“I should have never done what Coach asked me to do. And when Tiffany showed me those pictures of you and Sanders together...” he shook his head. “I figured it was just karma getting me back for the shitty thing I did, Liv.

“I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I would do anything to take it all back if I could.”

I sat there silently, mulling over Tyler’s words when I had a sudden thought. “You didn’t set this whole thing up so that I’d catch Matt with Tiffany did you? To get me back?”

Tyler’s eyes widened and then became sad again at the accusation.

“No,” he shook his head. “I understand why you think I’m capable of that kind of manipulation, but I wouldn’t do that to you. I’ve already screwed up so much. I couldn’t hurt you more than I already had.”

“Are you lying?”

“No. I saw how happy you were with... him,” Tyler said. “It killed me every day to see you with him. You never once looked at me like you look at him,” he said quietly. “I figured the least I could do was just leave you alone. You deserved someone who could make you happy and make you smile at them like you were. I even tried to stop the rumors. But you know high school kids,” he shrugged. “They’re gonna think what they’re gonna think.”

I looked away from Tyler. “What about Sandy Duncan?” I couldn’t help asking.

“What about her?”

“You’re not together then?”

“No. Why are you asking?”

I shifted around in my seat uncomfortably not too sure why I felt the need to know about Tyler and Sandy, it really was none of my business. “She’s just always around you.”

“Only because I can’t get her to leave me alone. I’m still in love with you, Liv. I don’t want to be with anyone else. You do believe me, don’t you? I promise everything I’ve said to you right now is the honest truth.”

I looked into Tyler’s eyes, unsure if I believed him or not. I needed to know that he was telling me the truth though. I felt as though I, at the very least, deserved that much from him. “Did Matt really steal your girlfriend when you two were younger?”

Tyler quirked an eyebrow at me, the look on his face told me that he knew what I was doing and that I knew the truth about the incident.

“No,” he admitted quietly, a muscle ticked in his jaw. “I stole her from Sanders because I was jealous. And I lied to you about it because I hated that I was that guy who betrayed his best friend. I honestly can’t even remember her name now. I told you, Liv, I was trying to be a better man because you made me want to be better.”

Tyler and I stayed quiet after that. I didn’t know what to say to him and he seemed to run out of things to say to me. I was surprised to see the time on the digital clock. Only ten minutes had passed since Tyler parked at the curb of my house. But with the serious weight of the conversation we just had, it felt like we’d been in his car talking for hours.

“What do we do now?” Tyler asked.

“I think,” I sighed. “I think that I need to go inside. Matt will be coming by and we need to talk,” I said. I blinked hard as I realized how sure I was of the fact that Matt would be here soon to talk about what happened earlier. I was surprised that he wasn’t here now explaining things.

“Are you going to break up with him?”

I looked up swiftly to scan Tyler’s face with narrowed eyes, thinking he was only interested because he was still in love with me and wanted me back. But he only looked back at me curiously, seriously wondering what was going to happen between me and Matt.

“I don’t know,” I sighed truthfully as I ran a hand through my wavy hair. Mine and Matt’s situation wasn’t exactly a typical one, it was hard to know what to do at this point. “We’ll see I guess. I should head inside now. Thanks, Tyler, for telling me the truth.”

“I just wished I didn’t have to tell you this in the first place, Liv. I wish I could tell you that Coach never asked me to use you and that I initially asked you out because I wanted to be with you. I wish so many things but mostly I wish that I had never hurt you. I am truly sorry for everything I’ve done to you. Here,” he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out the silver necklace. “I bought this for you and I want you to keep it.”

“Tyler, I don’t know,” I said staring warily down at the necklace like it was suddenly going to spring up from Tyler’s hand and attack me.

“Please, Liv, I want you to have it.”

I took the necklace from Tyler with a nod, not exactly sure why he wanted me to have the necklace but knowing that he needed me to take it from him either way. “See you at school,” I said as I climbed out of his car.

“Liv, wait!”

I pulled open the door and stared at Tyler expectantly. “Yeah?”

“There’s only one more thing I wish more than never having hurt you. I wish more than anything for you to be happy with Sanders or anyone else that happens to be lucky enough to have you in their life. And I’d really like it if we could be friends, if that’s not asking too much?”

“I’d like that, too,” I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “Bye, Tyler.”

“See you,” Tyler said softly.

I closed the door and watched as Tyler drove off. Sluggishly, I shuffled up the drive and let myself into my house. I trudged up the stairs into my room, tossed my phone onto my bed and made for my bathroom. Peering into the mirror, I realized how drained I looked. Squinted eyes, pinched face, red lips from the constant biting I’d done to keep from crying during the car ride. Today was, in short, completely brutal. I tied back my hair and washed my face, hoping I’d also scrub away the memory of Matt and Tiffany tangled in each other’s arms locked in a fierce kiss in the process.

After I patted my face dry, I released my hair from my pony tail and changed out of my clothes into a light pink tank top and a grey pair of comfy sweats. I needed to get a hold of myself. Matt would be here soon and I didn’t want him to see how much him kissing Tiffany really affected me. Again, it struck me how certain I was that Matt was going to show up at my house at any minute. My heart gave a not so soft squeeze in my chest as I replayed the event in my mind.

Matt could never know how much it hurt me to see him with her. I couldn’t let him know. After all, he and I weren’t really together in the first place. We were only pretending to date. We were only pretending to care about each other. It was only pretend.

At least, Matt was pretending. I hadn’t been for a while. And if Tyler could see that I had fallen in love with Matt, then I was pretty sure that Kara knew before Tyler did. But if she knew, why hadn’t she told me? Why wasn’t she pointing at me telling me she’d told me so?

I shook my head as I heard the doorbell ring. I felt my face pale because I knew that Matt was waiting on the other side of the door. The doorbell sounded again and broke my trance and made me move automatically forward to answer the door.

Frenzied thoughts raced in my mind. I hadn’t had enough time to prepare myself for this confrontation, I thought as I made my way downstairs. Matt was going to read me as easily as he could read the words on a page in a book. He was going to know that I was hurt and jealous that he’d been with her. He would know that I was in love with him. He would...

“Hey, Matt,” I smiled widely as I opened up the door. “Come on in,” my voice was as sweet as sugar and judging by the surprised look on Matt’s face, he was expecting a different greeting. It was then that my hand flew up and slapped his arm, the sound echoed around us loudly.

“Ow,” Matt complained as he rubbed his arm, a red mark already showing on his skin. “What was that for?”

“For being an idiot.” I closed the door behind him and started to walk toward the kitchen, Matt’s heavy steps following closely behind me. “You hungry or anything?” I asked as I rummaged through the fridge for some cranberry-apple juice.

“No, I’m good thanks,” Matt said slowly as he narrowed his eyes on my face, trying to figure me out or wondering if I was going to smack him again.

“What’s up?” I asked casually.

Matt crossed his arms over chest and raised an eyebrow at me. “What’s up?” He repeated me. “You saw me with Tiffany today, ran off crying and yet you’re standing here smiling at me, acting as though none of that happened and you ask me ‘what’s up’?” He asked incredulously. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Whoa, calm down, I already hit you for being an idiot,” I shrugged. “What else did you expect from me? Did you think I was actually upset to see you with Tiffany today? I mean, I’ll be honest, I was incredibly confused when I saw you two, I would like to know what was going on, but I’m not your girlfriend, Matt. I’m your friend, which is why I hit you. How else were you going to know I thought you did something stupid?” I made sure my face and voice were even as I spoke, not wanting to give myself away. “I’m actually surprised you’re over here right now though. I thought you’d still be with Tiffany. What are you doing over here anyway?” I lied straight through my teeth. I was hurting. I was still jealous. I wanted to throw myself into Matt’s arms and never leave. I wanted an explanation. I needed an explanation.

“You’re not serious, are you?” Matt’s face fell a bit as his brows furrowed together, his eyes narrowing on me even more.

I shrugged. “You guys looked pretty cozy earlier.”

“That bitch fucking jumped me!” He said loudly, his face turning red rapidly. “And you think we looked fucking cozy?”

My façade broke for one second and I was glad that Matt wasn’t looking at me at the moment. “She did? But I saw you kissing her. You guys were all over each other.”

Matt made a face of pure disgust at me. “I can’t believe you’d actually think I’d kiss her voluntarily again. Especially after you and I—” he stopped himself short. “I just thought you knew me better than that,” he said after a moment, a catch in his voice.

I was almost certain that Matt meant to say something else but I let it slide and took a sip of my juice.

“She just came up out of nowhere,” Matt said quietly. “She just ran at me and started kissing me. I was not kissing her back and I did not have my arms around her like that. I was trying to pull her off of me but she’s stronger than I thought she was. I was afraid that if I pushed her away from me she’d fall and crack her head open on the pavement or something. Her legs were wrapped around my waist and she’s a fucking girl, I’m not just gonna hit her or anything. No matter how much I wanted to.”

I stared down into the red liquid of my glass and stayed silent.

“Next thing I know you’re standing there with Vaughn and I saw you crying,” Matt said walking toward me.

He was standing so close to me that I had to tilt my head up to look at his face.

Matt’s hand was hovering over my face, his fingertips gently trailed down my cheek as though he was tracing invisible tears, his fingers left a burning path on my skin. “You were crying,” he whispered his eyes locked on mine intently, his warm breath flowed sweetly over my face and smelled faintly minty.

My cheeks flushed and my heart sped up as he touched me so I immediately created some space between us by taking a step away from him. I cleared my throat. “I bit the inside of my cheek to make myself cry. Tyler was there and I figured Tiffany would want to see some kind of reaction out of me,” I lied again and looked away from Matt. “Why did it take you a while to get here?”

“Tiffany violated me with her tongue,” Matt made a face at me. “I had to stop off at the store for mouth wash.”

I let out a small chuckle. I could still feel the heat of his body and smell of the subtle scent coming off of his skin. I sat down at the kitchen table and took a few deep breaths, trying to get my heart to beat normally in my chest. “So what do we do now?”

Matt took a seat opposite me and shot me a questioning look.

“Do we break up now?” I struggled to get the words past my suddenly dry lips.

His eyes widened slightly. “What? Why?”

“Cause you cheated on me, Matt,” I said playfully rolling my eyes.

Matt chuckled.

“But seriously, what do we do? I mean, this could be a perfect way out,” I said hoping Matt wouldn’t realize that I didn’t want out of our arrangement. Maybe if we kept the pretense up long enough he’d fall in love with me. I mentally slapped myself. This is real life, Liv, not some book or movie, I chastised myself sternly. Get your head out of the clouds and plant your feet back on the ground.

“It’s that what you want?” Matt asked slowly, watching me closely for my reaction.

No! I shouted in my head. “I think we should consider all of our options,” I answered instead. I hoped that was a diplomatic answer and that I didn’t seem too eager one way or the other. Why did Tyler make me realize that I’d fallen for Matt? I asked myself. Now I’m not sure how I would have answered that question if I didn’t know otherwise. “I mean, this whole thing between us can’t last forever, right? Sooner or later, we have to end things?”

Matt just stared at me, his hazel eyes and face hardened, he didn’t say anything.

I flinched away from his harsh expression and looked away from him confused about the sudden anger I felt coming from him, reaching out toward me, battering against me like the waves of the ocean hit the shore during a summer storm.

Matt pushed his chair back abruptly causing a loud screech from the friction of the legs on the floor and I whipped my head to look at him. He looked as mad as the afternoon when he saw the bruise on my shoulder that Tiffany caused and initially thought it was Tyler who had hurt me.

“I...You...” His hands were clenching and unclenching rapidly at his sides and he was struggling with his words, he snapped his mouth shut. With that he stormed away from me, stomping through my house, his loud footsteps echoing throughout the silent house. I flinched when I heard the front door slam shut; I could’ve sworn the windows shuddered violently in their panes at the force of Matt’s strength. The sound of the slamming door was like a slap to my face.

I sat in my chair completely stunned. I wasn’t sure what had just happened because something had obviously just happened, you don’t just start slamming doors when something isn’t happening.

I reached into my pocket for my phone and scrolled down to the right person before pressing ‘Call’. “Kara,” I said once she answered. “I think... I think Matt and I just got into a fight.”

“What happened?” Kara was concerned and I could hear the surprise plain in her voice.

I explained to her what happened after school up until ten minutes ago when Matt stormed out of here.

“So wait,” Kara said suddenly. “Did you guys break up?”

“We didn’t really get the chance agree to anything,” I admitted. “He got mad and left before we could talk about it. I don’t know what to do. Matt’s never been angry with me before,” I whispered. “And the worst part is I don’t even know what he’s so angry about.”

“I could talk to him when he gets home,” Kara offered. “Figure out what crawled up his ass and died.”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Thanks, K. Just... Just don’t push him if he doesn’t want to talk about it. I have a feeling it’ll be like poking a sleeping bear with a stick.”

“Hey, I’m his kid sister, I’m supposed to annoy the shit out of him. It’s like my job.”

I visualized the smirk on Kara’s face as she said that and chuckled. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Kara laughed. “I’ll try not to annoy Matt too much.”

“I love him, K,” I said quietly.

There was a silent pause on her end of the phone and I thought that she had ended the call. “I know.” Kara finally said.

“So you’re not going to tell me you told me so?” I asked. “You’re not going to rub it in my face that you knew that I’d end up falling in love with your brother? Again.”

“Why should I? It’s already too late. But for the record, I did tell you so. I knew this was gonna happen and that you wouldn’t be able to help yourself.”

I rolled my eyes at her, not that she knew I was doing it. “Okay, I’ve gotta go, K. There are some things that I need to think about. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Later, Liv, and don’t worry too much about Matt. You know his temper. He gets mad fast and blows up but cools down eventually and everything will be fine.”

“I hope so, Kara. Later,” I hung up with Kara and made my way up to my room. I didn’t bother turning the lights on and collapsed on my couch. I turned the TV on and left it on some random channel for some background noise.

Letting out a sigh, I got comfortable on the couch and started thinking about what I was going to do about Matt and Tiffany. As much as I didn’t want to “end” things with Matt, I knew our fake romance couldn’t go on much longer. But if we did “break up” then that would mean that Tiffany would swoop in and Matt would never be able to shake her off.

So the real challenge wasn’t ending my “relationship” with Matt, but getting Tiffany to leave him alone if he and I ended things soon.

Tiffany Walsh.

That one person caused a huge uproar in my life. There’s no way I’m going to let her get away with that, I thought. I’d been through too much for her just to get off easy. I picked up my phone again dialed a number that I hadn’t used in a while. “Hey, I need a favor.”

“How fast?”

“Four hours. Five max.”

“Gonna have to charge you double given the time restraint,” came the gruff response.

I rolled my eyes, I was expecting that. “Like I haven’t heard that before.”



“I’ll see you here after school, James,” I said as I swung my backpack onto my shoulders. Nervous anticipation had settled into my stomach last night making it harder for me to sleep. I was still anxious about today. Kara hadn’t called me back to let me know what was going on with Matt and Matt hadn’t called me either so I had no idea what kind of mood he was going to be in today.

“Okay, Liv. Feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve had to pick you up in the afternoon,” James replied.

“Yeah, it does,” I agreed and waved at him. “Later,” I said closing the door behind and started walking to school. With each step that brought me closer to the school, the more apprehensive I got. Instinctively, I knew that today was going to go one of two ways: bad or really bad.

I walked through the parking lot keeping my eyes focused straight ahead and walked toward mine and Matt’s locker. I’d made sure I gotten to school early so I wouldn’t be interrupted when I did this. I quickly spun the combination in the lock and started taking all of my things out of his locker. Without my books taking up half of Matt’s locker, it looked a little empty and bigger than before.

With a sigh, I ignored the pairs of curious eyes burning holes into my back and walked to my old locker. The paint was a solid color and there were no disgusting words on my door. I had some trouble holding onto my books and working the combination lock. It took me a minute to remember the combination that I hadn’t used in what felt like forever. I finally managed to get the locker open and I shoved all of my books in there unceremoniously; I would find some time to arrange everything later but for now it would have to do.

“Trouble in paradise?”

I slammed my locker door shut and turned around to see Tiffany standing a few feet away from me, a large smirk on her face. “Fuck. Off.” I said coldly before turning my back on her and walking away.

“I’d rather fuck Matt.”

I heard Tiffany’s amused laugh float through the air and it took everything in me not to turn around and let her know how much her words were getting to me. I took a deep breath and walked to my first period class. Since it was so early, I was the first to get there. I glanced up at the clock. First period wouldn’t be starting for another eighteen minutes and I knew that Kara and Matt would be arriving soon if they weren’t at school already.

I took out my notebook and my textbook and waited for the bell to ring.

After first period was over, I went back to my locker and started exchanging my books and made some order out of the mess I’d made earlier.

“What the hell, Liv?”

I saw Matt standing beside me out of the corner of my eye and went back to fixing up my locker. “Hey, Matt. What’s up?”

Matt let out a short angry groan. “Don’t start that shit again. What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s my locker, Matt, I think it’s quite obvious.”

Matt snorted. “You didn’t have to come back here. You could have left your stuff in my locker.”

“Not after what happened yesterday,” I said still fixing up my books.

“Fucking Christ, Liv! I already told you what happened yesterday,” Matt’s voice was loud drawing the attention of everyone in the hallway, even some teachers were starting to listen. I saw Tiffany standing there, smirking in our direction.

I closed my locker door calmly. “I don’t think this is the time or place to talk about this,” my words were a warning. “You’re making a scene.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about making a scene! We need to talk,” Matt said. “You know yesterday meant nothing.”

There was a double meaning behind our words that only Matt and I understood. I looked at him shortly. “And I told you that I didn’t care what you did with her,” my voice was icy. “Like I actually believe you kissing her was an accident! What? Did she trip and your lips broke her fall?” I asked him mockingly.

“That’s not what fucking happened and you fucking know it!” Matt’s angry voice was exasperated.

“People, get to class!” A teacher shouted trying to herd the students in the direction of their next classes. “Go on, start moving!”

“I can’t fucking trust you anymore, Matt. Who knows how long you and she have been hooking up behind my back?” I knew that there was no truth to the accusation in my words and Matt glared down at me in shock. I shook my head in disappointment. “We’re done.” I walked away from him, a look of anger on my face so fierce that the kids in the hallway instantly parted down the middle to either side of the hallway to avoid me. Whispers about what just happened broke out instantly as soon as I passed them until the whole hallway seemed to be buzzing with chatter. I stalked all the way out of the building and stopped to take a deep breath. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I whirled around to meet a pair of concerned blue eyes.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded stiffly. “Yeah, Tyler, I’m fine.”

“I saw what happened just now,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Are you and Sanders really done? Or do you think you’ll get back together with him?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know,” my voice was as unsure as I felt and I fidgeted under Tyler’s gaze. That was the truth. I had no idea where the fight with Matt came from. I just couldn’t help fighting with him when he was glaring down at me like that. Was he really that upset that I moved my things out of his locker?

I looked around and saw everyone staring at us and I groaned internally. I could only imagine the rumors that were going to go around the school now. “Look, Tyler, I don’t mean to be rude, but uh, maybe we shouldn’t be talking here. Everyone’s staring,” I glanced around us noting all of the curious eyes. Several people weren’t even trying to hide the fact that they were listening to our conversation.

Tyler didn’t look away from me. “So? Just ignore them. We can talk at school if we want to.”

Ignore them? Easier said than done. I opened my mouth to speak but stopped suddenly when I heard Matt’s voice.

“Liv, give me another chance to expl—” Matt’s voice cut off as he approached me and Tyler just outside of the building.

I shot Matt a confused look. This wasn’t going to end well, I told myself. Matt didn’t see my widened eyes however, because he and Tyler were busy sizing each other up, looks of extreme antipathy on each of their faces. A crowd started to gather around us much like they did at the homecoming dance anticipating a fight.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Matt asked me, not taking his eyes off of Tyler.

Tyler took a step closer to Matt, effectively stepping between me and Matt and shielding me from Matt’s anger. Matt’s eyes narrowed, he didn’t miss the obvious meaning of Tyler’s deliberate move either.

“We’re just talking, Sanders,” Tyler told Matt before I could say anything. “Why don’t you go cool off and then talk to Liv once you’ve calmed down?” Tyler’s voice and eyes were like hardened steel.

Neither Matt nor Tyler was willing to back down from each other. I saw a muscle tick in Matt’s jaw and instantly—and foolishly—stepped between the two overly protective boys.

“Guys,” I said calmly. “Let’s not do this here. Please?” I asked glancing between the both of them hoping that their rational side would kick in soon and they’d be mature about this. “This isn’t the place.” My voice was urgent and pleading. “Matt, Tyler and I were just talking, okay.”

“Not that it should matter to you who she talks to,” Tyler said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Matt took a step forward and I put my hand on his chest.

“Matt,” his name was a warning as I pushed gently against his chest. “Stop, please.”

The bell rang overhead and I tried to hide my look of relief.

“We’ll talk about this later, Liv.” Matt’s eyes were still trained on Tyler’s but he stepped back and my hand fell back to my side, hearing the note of promise in his voice. “And, Vaughn,” Matt’s voice took on a note of lethal warning. “Next time I see you hanging around my girlfriend—”

“Ex-girlfriend,” Tyler cut in savagely with a wicked smirk on his lips.

I could hear Matt’s teeth grinding together.

“Watch it, Vaughn, or the only football you’ll be playing from now on is in a fucking video game.” Matt turned stiffly and walked away from me and Tyler through the circle of onlookers that were still gathered around in hopes of a fight breaking out.

“Did you have to be such an ass?”

Tyler glanced down at me with a look of surprise. “Me? What about him? He’s the one who cheated on you.”

“And I cheated on you with him and you used me.” Neither of us was able to cast the first stone.

A look of shame crossed Tyler’s face that made me flinch. “That was a low blow,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

Tyler shook his head. “I’m sorry. There’s just too much rocky history between me and Sanders. It’s hard to ignore it. When he says something I have to say something back, I can’t help it; it’s second nature at this point. I’ve got to get to class. I’ll see you later.” Tyler walked away from me through the quickly dissipating crowd.

I grabbed my backpack off of the floor and ignored the burning and questioning stares of the few stragglers left and started walking in the same direction as Matt had to get to my next class. I entered through the double doors and as soon as I passed the janitor’s closet, I felt someone grab my arm and yank me toward the dark closet. I nearly screamed until my eyes locked with a pair of hazel ones. I nearly went limp with relief in the small, cramped space.

“Scare me half to death,” I chastised Matt as I smacked his arm, my pathetic hit didn’t even make him wince.

“What was that back there?” We both asked at the same time.

“When?” I asked crossing my arms over my chest. “Back at my locker or with Tyler?”

“At your locker,” Matt clarified. “Why did you decide to end things? We haven’t even talked about that yet.”

“You left my house yesterday before we could talk about anything,” I reminded him. “I figured it was what you wanted.”

“Yeah, well, you were wrong. Is that why you cleaned out our locker?”

I nodded.

“And what was with the fight we just had? I can’t believe you’d accuse me of seeing Tiffany behind your back.”

I grimaced. “I didn’t mean it and it was a stupid thing to say. I was pissed and had a little run in with Tiffany before school started this morning; she was in a great mood. The fight came out of nowhere though. Did it feel crazy real to you, too?”

“Yeah,” Matt said as he rubbed his hands over his face. “Way too real, actually. I didn’t mean to get so angry with you, it’s just I saw you that cleared out your stuff and then we started fighting. I don’t know,” he shook his head. “I just reacted I guess.”

“Why did you come after me?”

Matt scratched the back of his neck. “I was walking to class and saw Vaughn talking to you and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“By trying to pick a fight with him?”

Matt shrugged his massive shoulders as though that was answer enough.

I stiffened as I had a sudden thought. “Why would you want to check up on me?” I asked slowly.

Matt looked at me knowingly and I felt my stomach knot up.

I licked my lips. “Did Kara tell you—”

“That the captain of the football team was using you as a fucking cash cow for a new stadium? Yeah, she did. And he’s a real dick for hurting you like that, Liv.”

I looked away from him. I can’t believe Kara would tell him that. I mean, I hadn’t asked her to keep it a secret, but she’s my best friend; it was understood that I didn’t want her to mention anything to anyone. Especially Matt. I couldn’t deal with this right now. I couldn’t deal with the look Matt was giving me right now. Everything was just too much and happening way too fast.

“I’m really late. I’ve got to get to class. Later, Matt.”

“Liv, we still have to talk about this,” Matt said softly. “Figure out what we’re gonna do.”

I nodded. “I know. But I can’t right now.” I walked toward the door, my hand resting on the doorknob. “Come by my house at seven. I have something to show you.”

“I’ll be there, Liv,” he answered softly.

Matt’s words weighed heavy in my mind like a promise, like his words had a double meaning behind them and he was saying that he would always be there for me. I shook off the feeling and walked into my class with what I hoped was an apologetic smile.

My teacher looked up with an annoyed expression. “You’re late.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t feeling very well.”

“Don’t be late again. Take your seat.”

I hurried over to my seat and went through the motions of taking my things out of my backpack. I just had to get through the rest of the day, then I would show Matt what I learned last night. And then we’d figure out what to do from there.