Maybe Holding Hands Wasn't Such a Good Idea

I was currently driving to Kara’s in the Prius—I’d recently obtained my driver’s license—my parents got me for my birthday after watching Tyler play in the last game of the season and his senior year. Due to the two losses the football team suffered earlier in the season, when Kevin Davis was acting as quarterback for Tyler, they weren’t qualified for district and therefore wouldn’t get a chance to qualify for state, none of that bothered Tyler, however.

Tyler had gotten a call last week after a scout had seen him play; he has a full four year scholarship to the University of Stanford. He said he couldn’t wait to wear “that Stanford Cardinal red.”

Tyler noticed that Matt and I still hadn’t gotten back together and asked me about it. I decided that enough time had passed and told Tyler the truth about why I was Matt’s “girlfriend”. I told him how the plan was only supposed to last for less than a week, how Matt and I were just pretending to be seeing each other to get rid of Tiffany. I told him about the plan backfiring because Tiffany was off her rocker and set me up to make it look like I was cheating on him—I still never found out how she knew I was seeing Tyler—and that’s why she did what she did at homecoming.

I explained that the whole thing was an act, an act that was over when Tiffany was arrested and shipped off to a mental facility to undergo observation for her extreme aggression. And then I explained to Tyler that even though the whole thing was an act, I still couldn’t take him back because I’d fallen in love with Matt while pretending to be his girlfriend. Tyler was naturally upset about the whole thing but in the end said he wanted me to be happy.

I tried to squash the disappointment I felt running thickly in my veins making me realize how ridiculous I was to fantasize that Matt would show up at the game and profess his love for me before kissing me like Chad Michael Murray did in A Cinderella Story. I needed to stop doing that to myself; building up all these scenarios in my mind only to be let down and crushed brutally by the reality of it all. The reality being that Matt and I were only friends and that’s all we were ever going to be, unless, he found himself in another situation where he needed a fake girlfriend.

For the past few weeks that’s all I had been doing, coming up with different scenes where Matt would burst into one of my classes dramatically, ignoring the teacher telling him to leave as he marched toward my desk. Matt would pull me to my feet, stare deeply into my eyes, whisper that he loved me and that he couldn’t stand to be away from me for another second and then kiss me in the middle of class in front of everyone. There were also the fantasies where he would come to my house in the middle of the night, pajamas disheveled, hair mussed from his sleepless night and confess his feelings for me. I was beyond pathetic and I knew it.

I sighed as I parked at the curb and noticed that Matt’s truck wasn’t in the driveway, which meant that he wasn’t home just yet. I glanced at the time on my phone; it was still pretty early, fifteen minutes until eleven. I grabbed my bags and headed up to Kara’s and rang the doorbell.

Kara answered the door in her pajamas and gave me a sleepy smile before letting me enter the house. “How was the game?” She yawned loudly.

“It was long, boring and I forgot my jacket so I was cold the whole time. But they won, so I guess that’s all that matters,” I shrugged.

Kara yawned again. “Liv. I’m really sleepy, can we have our movie night tomorrow? Please?” She pouted at me.

I felt my lips twitch into a small smile. “Go get your beauty rest,” I shooed her toward the stairs.

“You are the best, Liv, seriously. See you in the morning.”

“Night, K,” I called after her and made my way to the living room with my backpack, may as well get my homework out of the way.

Around an hour later, I heard Matt come home. He waved at me and I nodded my head in acknowledgement before he walked up the stairs. Not all of our interactions have been as short as this over the past few weeks. Kara and I would spend some of our lunches with Matt and his friends; it just wasn’t an everyday kind of thing anymore. And I missed it. I missed hanging around Matt and his friends every day. I just missed the easy camaraderie, the feeling that I belonged. I missed laughing at Jimmy’s jokes and antics and listening to Brian and Zack mess around with Jimmy.

Jimmy Sullivan.

Jimmy has become one of my best friends on the entire planet and in a much shorter time than I could have imagined possible. That week when Matt and I “ended things”, Jimmy had stopped by my house on Saturday afternoon and talked with me about everything; he missed me and Matt as a couple almost as much I did, not that I told him that. And every Saturday since then, he’s been at my house hanging out with me and Carver. I’m still not too sure how Jimmy found out where I lived, Kara told me that she hadn’t given him my address and I didn’t think Matt would tell him without asking me first. When I asked Jimmy about it, as I had on many other occasions, he would just smile at me and then giggle a bit before changing the subject. Honestly, if I knew Jimmy wasn’t such a great guy, I’d be worried that he was stalking me.

Carver and Jimmy get along very well, too well, in my opinion. What surprised me is that Carver took an almost instantaneous liking to Jimmy, which has never happened before; he even invited Jimmy to stay the night last week when it was getting too late for Jimmy to drive home. Jimmy said yes and he and Carver stayed up all night playing video games on the plasma in the game room. They have a strong bromance, not that Carver is interested in Jimmy romantically or vice versa.

I just think it’s the effect Jimmy has on anyone he comes across. Everyone wants to be Jimmy’s best friend. And that’s just the way it is.

I sighed and continued on with my homework.

Kara and I had our movie night the following afternoon. It was now Saturday evening and I was driving home. I hadn’t seen Matt since he came home and I wanted to pretend that I wasn’t disappointed about that, but I was.

“Carver! I’m home!” I called as I entered my house.

“We’re in here, kid,” Carver yelled back.

“Hi, Liv!” Jimmy greeted me.

I rolled my eyes; of course Jimmy was already here, it was Saturday after all. “You guys want something to eat?” I asked as I entered the game room.

“Yes, please!” They both shouted.

I chuckled and went to the kitchen to make them an early dinner. I quickly threw together some beef tacos and served the two guys whose eyes would not leave the TV screen for one second as they thanked me.

“I’m just gonna go work on the car,” I told them.

“Okay,” Carver and Jimmy said absently.

I chuckled to myself and went upstairs to change into some old clothes that already had some grease stains on them. I piled my hair into a messy bun on my head and secured it with a hair tie before going back downstairs and walking through the backyard past the pool toward the shed that was housing the car I had intended to give my uncle.

I had only been working on the car, which I fondly called Tony after my late uncle, for a little over a week now. I had successfully managed to get the engine out and was in the early stages of pulling it apart so I knew what work needed to be done on it. I stared at the car for a moment before walking over to my work bench. “Time to work, Tony,” I said softly.

The door opened and I heard some footsteps behind me.

“Hey, Jim,” I said without looking up. “Are you actually going to help me today or distract me with more stories?” I asked. I’d told Jimmy about my uncle and my love for working on cars that first Saturday, I hadn’t meant to tell him it just kinda slipped out. Again, I like to believe it’s because of The Jimmy Effect; you really can’t help but tell him your secrets, dreams or fears. I’d hate to think what would happen if he decided to use his powers for evil instead of good.

“Hey, Liv.”

I stiffened as I recognized the familiar raspy voice before slowly standing up and turning around. “M-Matt? What are you doing here?” My voice came out soft and breathless and I felt my cheeks heating up with embarrassment as I stood under Matt’s intent gaze.

Matt shrugged and moved toward me, taking slow deliberate steps until he was standing a few feet from me. “So when did you start working on the car?”

“Not too long ago,” I said and then cleared my throat of the lump that had suddenly formed there. “So what brings you by?”

Matt shrugged again. “We haven’t really hung out since the whole Tiffany thing and I wanted to see what you were up to. Did you know Jimmy’s in the house and that he’s all chummy with Carver?”

I nodded with a small smile on my face. “Jimmy’s been here every weekend for the past few weeks. He and Carver get along very well. I predict matching friendship bracelets in the near future.”

Matt chuckled and looked away from me. I took the opportunity to take an actual breath and send some oxygen up to my brain.

“So, I actually had another reason for stopping by,” Matt said.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Matt rubbed the back of his neck his hand. “I wanted to show you this,” he pulled a folded up piece of notebook paper from his back pocket.

I took it silently and unfolded the paper.

M. Shadows would like to thank:

Liv Masters, an amazingly beautiful person inside and out and an incredibly loyal friend through and through. Te amo. ¿Quieres ser mi novia?

I looked up at Matt from the short note and could feel my eyes fill with tears which I was determined to not let spill over. I blinked them back quickly; I didn’t want to cry in front of Matt again, even if they were tears of happiness.

“Listen, Liv,” Matt said taking my hands in his. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you when we were pretending to date. These past few weeks without you have pretty much sucked for me. Being able to see you around school and my house but unable to kiss you, hug you, or just hold your hand,” he shook his head as he gently squeezed my hands in his. “It really sucked,” he said again. “I promise that if you say yes to me I will never hurt you, all I’m asking for is a chance to show you.”

I looked down at our hands and bit my lip to keep from yelling out in complete and sheer joy. Matt loved me, he loved me! I can’t believe that this isn’t a dream. I’m awake and Matt’s here with me and he wants to be with me!

“Liv?” I heard hear a note of nervousness in Matt’s voice and realized that I still needed to answer him.

Instead of answering Matt verbally, I leaned forward and kissed him. Hard. Matt responded almost immediately and his lips began working against mine kissing me back with just as much force. I felt Matt wrap his arms around me as he pulled me tightly against him. My own hands were busy trying to get him closer to me.

“So is that a yes?” Matt asked as we pulled apart some time later. His chest was rising and falling quickly with his heavy breathing.

I was breathing quite hard as well. “Sí,” I whispered before pecking his lips once more. “Yes, Matt.”

Matt hugged me to his chest, his head resting on top of mine. “Just to clear things up, we are officially dating. Exclusively. And since we’re dating that means I get to pay for all of our dates.”

I could hear a smug satisfaction in Matt’s voice and I hugged him tighter. My smile was so big it was starting to hurt my cheeks but I didn’t care because Matt was my boyfriend, for real this time.

“Yo, Matt! Come on out already! Jimmy’s jumping around like an idiot, he wants to know if Liv said yes.” Brian called from outside the shed.

I felt heat rush to my cheeks and I buried my face in Matt’s chest. “The guys are here?”

Matt chuckled and tightened his arms around me. “Kara, too.”

“She’s gonna kill me,” I groaned.

“Come on, I wanna tell them that you said yes.” Matt gently pushed me away from him and stared down at me with a small smile on his lips.

I had to restrain myself from kissing him again. There would be time for that later, when the guys and Kara weren’t ten feet away. He brushed some hair away from my face and kissed my forehead softly.

“I love you, Liv. And I’ve always loved how easy it is to make you blush,” his finger lightly traced my burning cheek leaving my cheek tingling under his soft touch.

I couldn’t stop smiling at him. Matt Sanders, the boy who saved me from bullies when I was younger, the guy who I was madly in love with and who I pretended to date was officially my real boyfriend. I really couldn’t be any happier right now.

“I love you, too, Matt.” I said while staring straight into his eyes. And in that moment standing in the middle of my shed wrapped up tightly in Matt’s arms in grease stained clothes, my hair a tangled mess on top of my head and no make-up on, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

Matt and I left my shed and his friends and Kara—who looked really happy for us despite the fact that her brother and best friend were now dating—surrounded us, smiles on their faces. They congratulated me and Matt on not being stupid anymore and finally getting together for real and stopping with all that pretend dating bullshit.

I was lost in my own little world though and missed a lot of what they were saying. The only thing I was truly conscious of was Matt’s hand in mine letting me know that despite getting used by my first boyfriend and dealing with the madness that was Tiffany that I had finally gotten my happily ever after.