Pretty Follies

The sun had set. It wasn’t completely dark yet, but I was having trouble identifying depth. But I’m sure the fact that I hadn’t drunken any water or eaten anything played into it. Things started to appear out of no where. A branch suddenly was in my face, because of the lack of lighting. I couldn’t distinguish the dirt from the grass or fallen trees six feet below my eyes. I started to wonder what could be lurking in these woods. Creepy bugs, nocturnal animals or crazies wandering around. I was scared to look to the sides of me, worried a pair of yellow eyes might be peering through the leaves, at me.

It would get even darker. It wasn’t only scary creatures, but dangerous obstacles. We had run into a weird rock block, who know if there would be a cliff, drop off or hole?

Right as I thought about the darkness being dangerous, I felt a roughs scratch across my face. Immediately my hand when up to feel my cheeks and when I focused my eyes to what had hit me, I realized it was an ingrown branch the flung and hit me.

I ran my fingers along my new, deep scratched I had just obtained, feeling the grooves in my face and mumbled curse words as I did so. Going to continue on, I paused. I must have been so lost in thought that I didn’t notice that those annoying footsteps weren’t behind me anymore. And no matter how much of a blessing that would have been, I couldn’t leave that twig with a beating heart behind.

“What now, Laney?” I asked impatiently.

“Hold on a sec, tying my shoe.” Automatically, my mind started to generate countless insults. I couldn’t even help it anymore; it was a habit. I was just too tired to say anything, to make myself seem bitter and put effort into sounding like I cared anymore.

We were both exhausted from walking for 12 hours straight. Our skin was in need of a good shower. Our eyes were drooping. Our mouths were thirsty. Our joints hurt. I think we had both lowered our wall, becoming emotional from fatigue.

I backtracked to where Laney was knelt down and found a log close by. I perched gingerly on it and zoned out in a trace as I looked out at the dark forest in front of us.

After a minute, I heard soft footsteps come up behind me and stop a few feet back. “Come on, let’s go,” she said desolately.

“Just wait a bit. I want to take a break.” That was what our conversation had evolved into; blatant, short and soft statements, uncaring and given up.

“Soo…what are we going to do?” she asked dumbly. “Just sit here?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I bit back.

“Wasn’t it you that said it doesn’t help to sit? Walking is better than nothing?” she ridiculed me, crossing her arms over her dusty shirt. I didn’t answer, just kept my focus on the scene in front of me, trying to make out the trees and bushes in the dim light.

I think I had forgotten what it felt like to be normal. Maybe I was exaggerating, but the 12 hours I had been gone from my family seemed to be months. I felt like I had been in these woods so long that it was the only thing I knew, yet I was scared of it. Everything was mysterious and daunting.

I was expecting this trip to be interesting, being with Lorraine after not having seen her in a while and all, but this was unexpected. Was it weird that I somewhat excited for this to happen? Not in these circumstances, but the campsite wasn’t just normal from the woods point of view, but from tour. It might be contradictory, but at least I was feeling a little more grounded being lost in the huge forest with Lorraine. Seeing her, seeing how things between us hadn’t improved made me feel normal, like things at home weren’t changing as fast as I was when I was away.

Suddenly Lorraine had a new wave of energy wash over her and she became more persistent, “Why are we sitting?”

“Because I want to,” I snapped, not taking my eyes off the tree my eyes had settled on.

“What are you going to do? Watch the tide roll in with your best friend?”

I felt a little twang of ache in me as soon as I heard her say that. I had to admit, that hurt. Using my own lyrics against me was low and something I didn’t expect from her. For one reason, I didn’t think Lorraine actually listened to All Time Low, and another, she made my lyrics somehow seem ridiculous.

I was so passionate about my music. It was my life. I never thought Lorraine would ridicule me about it. It wasn’t like her to do that.

But I couldn’t let her know how much it bugged me, so I played it off like normal. “No. To watch a tide, you need to have an ocean in front of you. Hell, some sort of water, which we can’t seem to find. So no. I’m not going to watch the tide roll in. But thank you for that, Lorraine.”

I could feel her stare on my back and she stood still for a while, just studying me. Finally I heard her clear her throat and step towards me, her shoes ruffling on the grass and green leaves on the ground. “Alex…I…um…sorry…” She almost sounded ashamed at what she said. I thought I did a pretty good job at hiding my displeasure, but she somehow picked up on it.

Of course she knew it bothered me. Who was I kidding? Lorraine knew everything about me. She always knew when I was pissed off by simply studying me eyes, choice of words and body language. I don’t think even my own parents or best friends were as good at it as Lorraine. I could never decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing. But right now, I sure wasn’t appreciative of it.

Lorraine doesn’t apologize for what she says either, we never do. “I shouldn’t have…um…gone down that road. That’s—”

“You didn’t say anything.” I kept my eyes focused on a trunk of a tree five feet in front of me.

“Yes, I did. Sorry—”

“It’s fine,” I said snapped back, a temper rising quickly. An underlying apology came out of those words though, meaning I just admitted it did bug me. I hit myself for saying it. Sometimes I just said things to get Lorraine to stop talking. “Um,” I said attentively, “Let’s get going I guess.”

We both started moving in the direction we had been before our little break, silently.