M.C.R.

Its funny how you think the simplest and most mundane of things can be the best of them all.

You've known a person since you came into that school, you've been classmates with her since you were kids, but you never thought you can find someone inside that can somehow understand you, better than anyone you know.

You come onto a site for convenience, just to have a place to publish your works without being judged and maybe, slightly to get praise, and you meet people halfway across the world that suddenly meant the world to you.

You listen to a song that seems like all the others, nice but nothing special, just a mesh of notes and words and beats, but you came to know the band, the people behind it, and loved them for their music and for themselves, more than you can ever imagine.

M. C. R.

Three letters for three things.

My Chemical Romance, Mibba's Crew to the Rescue, Mara C. Rosales.

Faith, hope, love.

-

There are times in life when everything seems to go wrong, when everything you want to go write goes the opposite direction, down, down, down, until you've got nothing left.

You thought you were strong, happy, invincible. It's such a shame to discover that beyond that lie you tell everyone else, you've fooled yourself as well.

Suddenly nothing seems worth it anymore.
You can't make it.
You can't.

The world says you can't, and there is no way to avoid it.

You want to end it all.

You're holding your death in your hands, right between your trembling fingers, trying to summon that fatal strike on that vital spot, an attack in vulnerability, and you see a printed photo on your wall, and the song plays in your mind.

'I am not afraid to keep on living'

The blow is hard and concrete and whole.

You remember that man's words, his face, his bottomless eyes staring at you, his expression indecipherable. he said there was always something more, something better, if you believed. you can make a difference.

...and then the tears fall.
If you went through with it, you would let them down. Another statistic for another frown, another sad line on their lips.

But then your adoration and your love turns to glowing desperation. Everything is stumbling, crashing around you again, and you can't even meet those five men to thank them in person, to have them save your life again.

You are ready.
To leave.

You pick up your demise and go online, one last time, to leave a goodbye note.
You see all those people in your messenger who have no idea what you're going through, wondering if they'd care.

You click your best friend's name, on a whim, and you tell her everything.

It's too hard. God wouldn't forgive you for all you've done. There is nothing to look forward to; you can't even have your heroes, just once. Everything seems to be against you, everyone has given up on you. You're done.

She tells you she loves you.
She would care.
Very much.

Months later, when you asked each other about the one day you'd want to relive, she says 'that night. when you were there, and you almost weren't.' You asked why.

She said it gave her something, a purpose, in helping you.

The morning after that grueling night, you return to the website and become overwhelmed.
The fear, the worry, the love.
That farewell note you left?

It hurt.

So many.

You wonder why you mean so much to these people. Why do they care for a faceless name on the screen, on the other side of the world?

You're real to them.
They're real to you.

You promised never to leave again.
You were going to stay, because of them, if only for all of them.

Three.
M. C. R.

-

It's the night you've been waiting for, the one you thought would never happen, and it's almost over.

Then, that song.

Remember?

Those words. That night. Those eyes.

That man.

'I am not afraid to keep on living'

You believed it.
Finally, truly believed it.

You knew that if you ever felt like sinking in the future, you only need to remember that moment, that band onstage, that friend in the back row, those people thousands of miles away wishing you the best concert experience, and you'll be fine.

It will take a while, but you'll be okay.

-

Never again will I be afraid to keep on living.
GerardFrankMikeyBobRay, Mibba, Mara, Thank you.

For everything.

For saving me time and time again.

I love you.

Keep the faith.