Love's Horrid Fruit

Draco

A bead of sweat ran down the side of my face as I stepped into the Vanishing Cabinet to see if there was any damage there. It was hard to concentrate, however, knowing that at any moment the door might swing shut, and I would be lost forever. Poking the tip of my wand in the far corner of the cabinet, I used limos to light up the darkness.

Everything was intact.

Coming back out I heaved a small sigh of relief and turned back to my book. There was nothing wrong with the appearance of the cabinet, so the problem had to do with the magic itself. which part of it, I wasn't sure, but I needed to find out soon.

Christmas holiday was coming soon.

Taking out an apple that I had swiped from the Great Hall, I set it in the middle of the Cabinet, closing the door on it's brilliant red skin. Taking out my wand, I pointed the tip at the door and said, "Harmonia Nectere Passus."

Nothing happened.

Opening the door, I found the apple untouched in the same spot I had placed it. I frowned as I removed the fruit and took a bite out of it. this was what I feared. According to the book, this was the hardest problem to fix. Thankfully, the book referenced more sources to look at to help with the discovery of the problem and how to fix it. Turning away from the cabinet, I made my way through the Room of Requirements and to the door. I tapped lightly on the wood and waited for the response. A single knock came and I opened the door, slipping out into the seventh floor corridor. I looked down to Crabbe who was disguised as a first year from Hufflepuff and laughed.

"Nice pigtails," I took a moment to compose myself, "You couldn't find a boy to get hair from?"

The face of the girl frowned and she spoke with Crabbe's voice, "Girls have longer hair than boys."

"So jinx them."

"Oh... I didn't think about that."

"Whatever, it's moot now.... Where's Goyle?"

"I dunno."

I sighed, "Well I'm going to the library, I'll meet you in the Hall for dinner."

"Why are you going to the library?"

"To do homework."

Crabbe didn't say anything, nor did he follow. I made my way down stairs and into the library, going into the section about repairing magical devices. I pulled out book after book, looking for the information I needed. I took the pile in my arms and went to a desk where a Hufflepuff was diligently doing homework for what looked like Muggle Studies.

Putting on my best scowl, I set my books down on the table and leaned in a bit, "Move."

The Hufflepuff's eyes widened and he quickly gathered his belongings and moved across the library to an open table. Setting up what I needed, I pulled out my ink bottle and quill and began taking notes on the various ways to cure a Vanishing Cabinet. I was several scrolls in when an origami owl flew over to sit in front of me. He hopped on his small legs and looked up at me, giving a small "Whoo."

I looked around to see where it might have come from, then looked back to see it turned away from me, no longer being able to move. On it's back written in ink was the phrase, "I see you."

Looking around again, I glimpsed the fleeting image of Hermione Granger's brown hair flying behind a book shelf. Smiling, I took a sheet of paper and folded it into a crane. I pressed it's beak to my lips and sent the two birds flying to her. Bending over my paper work, I was able to watch in my peripheral vision as my bird kissed her cheek.

I moved on to the last book and finished my note taking before I put everything away. Taking the books back to the shelves, I held out each one before letting go, watching as magic took them back to their rightful places. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walked over to a spiral staircase and climbed it, moving to where I had sent my crane. Rounding the corner, Hermione was no where to be found. Instead our birds were on the table cooing at each other, snuggling.

I felt a smile pull on my lips as I scooped them in my hand.

Turning, I jumped to see Snape standing behind me.

"Mr. Malfoy."

I frowned, "Professor."

"Might I inquire what it is you are doing here?"

Holding up the roll of parchment I replied, "Studying.'

He frowned, his eyes moving to the origami in my hand, "I hope... that is all you are doing.... Wouldn't want you to be distracted."

"No need to fear, Professor," I replied, leaning into him, "I won't."

Walking away, I was stopped by him saying, "I wonder... how your parents would fee... knowing you're pursuing girls... and not focusing on your tasks.... Especially a mud-blood. How would your father react to your change in feelings?"

I could feel the color drain from my face. not looking at Snape I said, "Why would I waste my time with a mu-mud-blood? I'd rather squash them like the insects they are than consider them as equals."

A painful expression took over my face as I said that sentence. It hurt not being able to give into what I felt. But I had to do it. I had to conform to my father's teachings or else be reported. If my parents found out how I felt about Hermione, I would be disowned. If the Dark Lord found out....

Composing myself, I turned my head a little then said to my shoulder, "See you later, Professor."

Walking away, I left the library, pressing my back against the doors, my chest tightening to such a punching feeling that suffocated me. My chest heaved with effort to get enough air in my lungs. Pulling at my tie, I moved running down the stairs and through the massive hall out the front doors. Out on the grounds, I was surrounded by students, none of them I wanted to be around. The feeling of being in this stone courtyard was almost as bad as being in the castle. I moved quickly into the green hills of the grounds practically running to where the Black Lake met the Forbidden Forest. Leaning against a tree, I sat down and struggled to breath.

Rage and fear pressed on me, forcing tears to push their way forward and blur my vision. From where I sat, I could see Hogwarts sitting on it's cliff. The sight of the castle use to inspire awe... Now when I looked upon it, I hated it.

It was my hell, and I wanted out.

Resting my head against the bark of the tree, I struggled to keep my feelings in check. I closed my eyes and a tear slipped down my cheek. I felt the tears clump in my throat, blocking my air way. I played with the idea of allowing myself to wallow in my grief, if the snapping of a twig hadn't brought me back to myself. Getting up, I wiped the tears away and drew my wand as I faced the noise.

Hermione stood in the shadows of the forest, alarm making her stiffen with fear. I lowered my wand and looked at her, tears continuing to form in my eyes. She loosened up and beckoned me to go follow her, and I did. We found a clearing in the woods and Hermione turned to me.

"What's wrong," she asked.

My face was down as I replied, "I hate it here."

She was quiet.

"This place should burn... with everyone one in it."

"Draco... surely you don't feel that way."

"Don't tell me what I feel!" Looking up I let her see the anger in my face, "Don't tell me what I feel.... It's my body, my feelings, I should be the one who determines hoe I feel!" Moving away from her, further into the clearing, I kept my back to her as I continued, "All my life, I've been told how to feel, and I'm sick of it! I've lived in the shadow of my good-for-nothing, prat of a father, who told me how I should feel about mud-bloods and muggles.... I should loathe them... find them ugly and vile, and unworthy of the air they breath."

I paused, then turned to Hermione, "And then you... you come and mess everything up. You're the reason for my mixed feelings... you're the reason why I'm doubting myself - hating myself. You're the reason why my life is a massive downward spiral in to a dark pit of despair."

Walking up to her, I grabbed her arms and held her at arm's length, "However... you are the cause of the one thing that I've ever been sure about in my life... a feeling that contains no ounce of doubt...."

Hermione looked up at me, clearly hurt by my previous words, but curious about what I had left to say.

"Hermione... I love you."