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"Why? Why the hell don't you trust me? Why do you keep thinking that I'm going to cheat on you?" my boyfriend of the last five years yelled. I looked up to his face and saw a mixture of hurt and anger on his face. I looked into his amber eyes and mainly saw sadness and hurt.

"Brian I do trust you, but you have to understand something. You have two different-"

"No! That's bullshit! Around you and everyone else I'm Brian, but on STAGE is when I'm Syn! I know when to be the-"

"No you don't. I have seen Syn come out more, and more lately in our relationship, then I have Brian. I'm just trying to save both parties-"

"No, this is bullshit! I'm outta here!" He yelled before storming out of the house we shared, slamming the doors along his way. I stayed on the couch, where I had been sitting the entie time the argument went on. I waited five minutes letting out a breath and heading up to our shared office. I walked in and saw Brian's dog Pinkly and my dog Scotty curled up together on the dog bed. I smiled when people always assumed that Pinkly was mine and Scotty was Brian's. I gave them both a scratch behind their ears before walking over to my desk. I sat and stared at my screensaver as it went through some of the pictures that we took as we were growing up. I smiled because it brought back all those memories. Before I let myself get to involved in lalaland I moved my mouse to get my screen up. Once I had all my windows opened that I would need for work, I let myself get lost in my characters.



I knocked on the door of my best friend, hoping he wasn't "busy". The door opened a few seconds later.

"Hey Bri, what are you doing here?" Jimmy asked.

"Long story, can I come in?" I asked him. All he did was step aside so I could come in. I went to his living room to see that Zacky was there also.

"Hey man what are you doing here?" I asked giving him a man hug.

"Bored at mine. Gena's at work and there was nothing really new going on with VU." he said shrugging. I nodded.

"I got into a fight with Ivy." I said

"More like he was yelling and pacing, while Ivy stayed seated on the couch, trying to talk." Jimmy said as he handed me and Zack a beer. I took a deep pull before starting to explain what happened.

"I don't know man. It's just that lately as this tour gets closer and closer, she pulls away from me more and more. And then today she asked me if I was to find someone better on tour, would I wait last minute to tell her, or make the break quick? I mean who the hell thinks up weird ass shit like that? And then she goes and asks me, if I was to have an accidental one night stand, would I tell her, and if so when? I feel like she doesn't trust me anymore." I sighed, taking another deep pull of the beer.

"No dude, she trusts Brian, Syn Gates, not so much." Jimmy said.

"But that's thr problem. We're one in the same." I said

"Dude no you're not. Brian Haner is all about his friends, family, his girl, and dog. Synyster Gates is all about the booze, girls, and music. They are two sides of each other. The thing is that Ivy has gone and lived with both, put up with both, but she's starting to lose one of them. Can you figure out which one?" Zack said. I looked over at him, before thinking about everything. As I was going through my thoughts I did notice that more of what I thought was something Syn would do instead of me. I heaved a heavy sigh, when I started to notice everything.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed. It was at that time when the last two of our friends, Johnny and Matt, walked in Jimmy's house.

"Gates, put the guitar down and relax, don't force the-wait you don't have a guitar with you? What was with the yell then?" Matt said stealing my beer. I swung my arm out to punch him, but he dodged it.

"He's realizing how much of an ass he's been lately with Ivy." Johnny said like it was no big deal.

"How the hell do you know that Short Shit?" I asked.

"Simple, I saw her before I came over here. She was in the office, working on something, and she said to check over here to find you. I figured that something got you upset, picked up Matt, and loot at that, I was right." I sighed knowing that with Ivy in the office, there would be no way to call her and talk. She was dedicated to her work like that. So I gave her room and stayed and talked to the guys for the rest of the day.



It was a little after eleven when I walked back in the house. It was quiet and dark so I figured that Ivy was already in bed, but when I went past the office door, I saw that the light was still on. I gently pushed the door open, only to see Ivy's head down on the desk, and hearing the little snores she lets out when she's asleep. I smiled, remembering the first time this happened. I had left her there to sleep, only for her to be in severe pain the next day. I waited on her hand and foot, even though she told me that she was fine, and that I didn't have to do all that. I walked over to her, the dogs heads popping up to see who was coming closer, only to go right back down when they saw it was me, and gently picked Ivy up. I walked over to our bedroom and gently laid her down, before going back to the office to shut the lights off. I heard the clicking of the dogs paws following me back to the bedroom. When I hot in I started to remove Ivy's clothes and put her in one of my shirts. After I made sure she was changed and tucked in, I stripped down to my boxers and pulled her close to me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to her, kissing the back of her head. She snuggled up closer to me, and I fell asleep quickly.



There were only two weeks left until the guys left for their year long world tour. Everyone was so excited and pumped for the tour, all but me. I could honestly say that I was afraid I was about to lose Brian. Not to another woman, no. I was afraid to lose Brian to Synyster Gates. I was already able to feel him slipping through my fingers, So I knew that it was my time to let him go completely. Matt and Val were having one of their usual BBQ parties. I was standing around with the other girls, when I felt that I should do this now, instead of putting it off for longer. I walked away from the girls and up to Brian, who was standing around with the guys.

"Hey babe." He said, wrapping his arm around my waist once I was close enough. The guys also gave me greetings.

"Hey, can I talk to you." I said quietly, trying to not alert the others. The smile that was on Brian's face fell for a sec, before it came back on, only it being a fake.

"Yeah, come on." He said taking my hand and we walked away from the party. When we were a good distance away, Brian stopped and truned to me. He opened his mouth, but I cut him off.

"I'm breaking up with you Brian." I said, not meeting his eyes. I knew that if I did I would break down.

"What! Why?" He yelled.

"I need to. You're about to leave, and I can see that Synyster Gates wants out to play so badly, but has to fight you. You're fighting the other half of yourself so you don't hurt me. I don't want you to fight yourself, I want you to be happy."

"But I'm happy with you! Why can't you understand that? I love you, isn't that enough?" he yelled. I looked at his face and I saw that he was fighting back the tears, be them from sadness or anger I didn't know.

"Brian I love you too, you know that, but I need to let you go. You need to be free on this tour, so that you can focus solely on the fans and music. That is what Syn does best." I said turning away from him. I didn't want him to see the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Will you wait for me?" he asked me.

"Always." I said turning in his arms to get a good look at him one last time.



"What the hell are you reading Short shit?" Jimmy asked before snatching the book from Johnny.

"Dude, what the hell! Give it back!" Johnny said trying to reach the book that was being held above Jimmy's head. I snatched it out of Jimmy's hand and looked at the book only to be greeted by the smiling face of Ivy. It was the back cover that I was looking at. I turned it over to see that her book was done. The book that she had worked over five years to complete. It was finally done.

"When did it come out?" I asked quietly.

"A couple weeks after we left. It just hit Europe recently. It's been a top seller for weeks now." Johnny replied back.

"Would you mind if I borrow this?" I asked him, but ignored the response, walking to the back where the bunks were. I started to read and noticed that the book was almost like a diary or journal of mine and Ivy's life together. It was just different names and instead of the guys and I being a band, we were princes. Instead of cities to play gigs, it was towns with balls. As I read more and more of the book I noticed the the character that personafied me really was becoming more and more of the prince he didn't want to be, but in the end he was let go and that's what put him in balance. The character that personafied Ivy let the prince go, to do what had to be done, but in the end he went back to her. By the time I finished the book, we were heading into the venue for soundcheck.

"Guys, I messed up. Big time." I said trying to tune one of my guitars more to my liking.

"Then fix it." Matt said like it was easy.

"How? It's not like I can ask her to-" I stopped midsentence.

"Ladies I do believe we have are Brian back." Jimmy said before pounding away on the drums. I flipped him off, but smiled as I started to play also and think about how I'm going to get Ivy back.



"Val why the hell am I dressed up? All we're doing is seeing the guys again. We'll you already saw them, but really why am I dressed up?" I asked.

"Oh shut the hell up and quit bitching. You're dressed up because you haven't seen them since the party, they want to see you again, and we are going out to celebrate afterwards." Gena said. I was about to ask about the celebration but then Lacey came in and said it was time to go. We all piled in to Val's Tahoe, and she set out to the venue. When we got there the guys had already started. They had just finished Scream when Matt started to talk to the crowd.

"Okay so my man Gates over here is going to take over for a bit. Gates."

Brian walked up to the mic stand that is usually occupied by Matt.

"Thanks man. How ya'll doin tonight?" he asked the crowd. They roared in response.

"That's great. Okay so those who have followed us from the beginning knows that there was a very important person in my life. She has been there for all of us since the start, pulled us through some tough ass shit. and always made sure we picked ourselves up, and pushed through. Well before this tour started, she and I broke up, because I was becoming more of an ass everyday. She noticed the change so instead of both of us being hurt in the end, she took it all. She made herself a bad guy to protect me, when it should have been the other way around. But now I'm here to prove to her that I love her with all my heart and that I'm sorry for everything. Ivy can you come out here please?" Brian said looking my way. I stood frozen for a few before the girls started to push me out there. I slowly walked over to Brian. He put his guitar behind him, grabbed both my hands, and looked me straight in the eyes. Matt was standing next to him with the mic.

"Ivy you have been with me, and the rest of us since I can remember. You were never like the other girls in my life, because you were always the one who liked to be behind the scenes instead of in them. You always wanted me or the guys to be in the spotlight, but now I want you in it with me. I want the chance to show you off even more to the world, and the ability to step back and let you take over. You have always been there to celebrate with us when we did amazingly on our albums, now I want the chance to help you celebrate your book. I want to be able to clebrate all the books that you create. What I'm trying to say is-" it was here that Brian got down on his knees, not knee, knees

"Ivy Marie Rose will be my wife for life and eternity?" Whatever tears that were in my eyes from the speech just started to gush down as I shook my head yes.

"Yes, yes Brian I will." I said quietly. Well it was but the mic that was in Matt's hand picked it up. He pulled out the ring and I started to cry more.

"I know you don't like diamonds, but this was the only ring that ever stood out to be perfect for you." He said. I held my hand out for him to slide the ring on. I stared at it for a second before jumping on him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You got my message." I whispered in his ear.

"Message was recieved" He whispered right back.