Everything I Used to be is Coming Back to Torture Me
First
“This’ll steady you,” Matt insisted, pouring some Jack Daniels into a shot glass and holding it out to Clover. She shook her head and shoved herself out of her seat, choosing to pace around the room instead. Matt watched her for a few moments, shrugged, and then downed the shot himself.
The stage was being set up for Avenged’s gig. Clover had only felt this nervous on one other occasion, but she didn’t want to think about that other time, so she just shoved it to the back of her mind. Her stomach was tied up in knots; she felt alternately cold and then almost feverishly hot. She took several deep, hopefully calming breaths as she strode around the room. Everything would be alright. She hadn’t put in all that effort and all that time just to choke at the first concert. The guys wouldn’t have chosen her if they hadn’t thought she could handle it. Clover knew that the hardest part would be walking out on that stage and seeing all of the fans out there comparing her against the Rev. Once she sat down and started playing, however, she knew that she’d forget about everything but the music, as she usually did.
Much to Clover’s dismay, she noticed that all of the guys looked relatively calm compared to her. Here she was, having a mini-freak out, and they were just sitting there like they were waiting for a bus. It made her wonder if she was overreacting maybe.
“What’s your secret?” Clover asked, wringing her hands as she turned towards the band.
“We all have pre-concert jitters,” Zacky answered. Clover snorted incredulously at that one. It sure didn’t look like they had the jitters. They were just sitting here in this room calm as you please. “We’re just so used to them, we hardly notice that they’re there.”
“After a few concerts, you’ll be the exact same way,” Brian assured her. “Once you get out there and see that it’s not so bad after all, you’ll straighten up. No worries.”
“Alright, you guys are on,” one of the venue managers said, poking his head into the room. Clover pulled her drumsticks from her back pocket and followed the rest of the band members out of the room.
The guys led the way through the backstage area towards the stage, looking like seasoned pros doing it. Clover sighed, clenching her fists hard around her drumsticks to keep her hands from shaking. As they drew nearer to the stage, Clover began to hear the introduction of Nightmare. The fans’ screams almost drowned the music out, further deepening Clover’s anxiety. It sure sounded like a lot of people out there.
The men filed up on stage, looking so goddam comfortable doing it that Clover was incredibly jealous. She focused on the stairs as she walked up them in the darkness, knowing even one slip of her foot would mortify her for eternity. The fans’ screams and cheers nearly tore the roof off of the place, loud even through the ear plugs that Clover wore to keep her hearing somewhat intact. She took a seat behind the drum set, not even looking at the crowd because she knew it would be like looking down as she crossed over a huge ravine on a wobbly bridge. Instead, she focused on the drums, shaking out her arms and resting her foot on the bass pedal. She prepared for her entrance, closing her eyes as she listened to the music. A split second before she needed to start, Clover snapped her eyes open, raised her arms, and hit the first notes of the first song in her first concert appearance.
Clover was never happier than when she was playing the drums. She had been right: the instant she got involved in playing, the crowd fell away and all she heard was the music all around her. She didn’t have time to think about being nervous. Within no time, Nightmare was over with. Clover looked up from the drums and the screaming of the crowd suddenly hit her as though a sound barrier all around her had abruptly crumbled. She felt confident in her playing and couldn’t remember any mistakes made. Playing in front of a huge crowd wasn’t as bad as Clover had assumed it would be.
Plain white lights went up on stage, illuminating the band clearly. In front and slightly below her, Clover saw her band mates each taking a drink of water. Seeing their bottles of water, she realized that she was actually a little thirsty. However, she decided against taking a drink because she felt pretty sure that she was shaking so much anyway she wouldn’t be able to open the bottle.
“How we fucking doing, Reading!?” Matt exclaimed. The crowd erupted into renewed cheers and shouts. Clover set her drumsticks down, stretching out her fingers and allowing them a slight rest before the band leaped headlong into the rest of the concert. Matt continued with his opening remarks, talking probably about the same things he always talked about in the beginning of concerts.
Clover wasn’t paying much attention until she heard her name. Matt stood with his body pivoted so he could extend his arm in her direction. “Everyone, say hello to Clover. Go on, Clover, wave to the crowd.”
Clover gave a tentative wave.
“She’s the new drummer with some mighty big shoes to fill,” Matt continued. “But we really like her and we hope you guys really like her too. We want her to be with us for a long time, and hopefully she will be. So how about a great big Reading, Pennsylvania, welcome for our newest member?”
The crowd cheered and hollered and Clover felt immense relief at that. The white lights changed, turning different colors for lighting effects, and the band launched into the next song.
The stage was being set up for Avenged’s gig. Clover had only felt this nervous on one other occasion, but she didn’t want to think about that other time, so she just shoved it to the back of her mind. Her stomach was tied up in knots; she felt alternately cold and then almost feverishly hot. She took several deep, hopefully calming breaths as she strode around the room. Everything would be alright. She hadn’t put in all that effort and all that time just to choke at the first concert. The guys wouldn’t have chosen her if they hadn’t thought she could handle it. Clover knew that the hardest part would be walking out on that stage and seeing all of the fans out there comparing her against the Rev. Once she sat down and started playing, however, she knew that she’d forget about everything but the music, as she usually did.
Much to Clover’s dismay, she noticed that all of the guys looked relatively calm compared to her. Here she was, having a mini-freak out, and they were just sitting there like they were waiting for a bus. It made her wonder if she was overreacting maybe.
“What’s your secret?” Clover asked, wringing her hands as she turned towards the band.
“We all have pre-concert jitters,” Zacky answered. Clover snorted incredulously at that one. It sure didn’t look like they had the jitters. They were just sitting here in this room calm as you please. “We’re just so used to them, we hardly notice that they’re there.”
“After a few concerts, you’ll be the exact same way,” Brian assured her. “Once you get out there and see that it’s not so bad after all, you’ll straighten up. No worries.”
“Alright, you guys are on,” one of the venue managers said, poking his head into the room. Clover pulled her drumsticks from her back pocket and followed the rest of the band members out of the room.
The guys led the way through the backstage area towards the stage, looking like seasoned pros doing it. Clover sighed, clenching her fists hard around her drumsticks to keep her hands from shaking. As they drew nearer to the stage, Clover began to hear the introduction of Nightmare. The fans’ screams almost drowned the music out, further deepening Clover’s anxiety. It sure sounded like a lot of people out there.
The men filed up on stage, looking so goddam comfortable doing it that Clover was incredibly jealous. She focused on the stairs as she walked up them in the darkness, knowing even one slip of her foot would mortify her for eternity. The fans’ screams and cheers nearly tore the roof off of the place, loud even through the ear plugs that Clover wore to keep her hearing somewhat intact. She took a seat behind the drum set, not even looking at the crowd because she knew it would be like looking down as she crossed over a huge ravine on a wobbly bridge. Instead, she focused on the drums, shaking out her arms and resting her foot on the bass pedal. She prepared for her entrance, closing her eyes as she listened to the music. A split second before she needed to start, Clover snapped her eyes open, raised her arms, and hit the first notes of the first song in her first concert appearance.
Clover was never happier than when she was playing the drums. She had been right: the instant she got involved in playing, the crowd fell away and all she heard was the music all around her. She didn’t have time to think about being nervous. Within no time, Nightmare was over with. Clover looked up from the drums and the screaming of the crowd suddenly hit her as though a sound barrier all around her had abruptly crumbled. She felt confident in her playing and couldn’t remember any mistakes made. Playing in front of a huge crowd wasn’t as bad as Clover had assumed it would be.
Plain white lights went up on stage, illuminating the band clearly. In front and slightly below her, Clover saw her band mates each taking a drink of water. Seeing their bottles of water, she realized that she was actually a little thirsty. However, she decided against taking a drink because she felt pretty sure that she was shaking so much anyway she wouldn’t be able to open the bottle.
“How we fucking doing, Reading!?” Matt exclaimed. The crowd erupted into renewed cheers and shouts. Clover set her drumsticks down, stretching out her fingers and allowing them a slight rest before the band leaped headlong into the rest of the concert. Matt continued with his opening remarks, talking probably about the same things he always talked about in the beginning of concerts.
Clover wasn’t paying much attention until she heard her name. Matt stood with his body pivoted so he could extend his arm in her direction. “Everyone, say hello to Clover. Go on, Clover, wave to the crowd.”
Clover gave a tentative wave.
“She’s the new drummer with some mighty big shoes to fill,” Matt continued. “But we really like her and we hope you guys really like her too. We want her to be with us for a long time, and hopefully she will be. So how about a great big Reading, Pennsylvania, welcome for our newest member?”
The crowd cheered and hollered and Clover felt immense relief at that. The white lights changed, turning different colors for lighting effects, and the band launched into the next song.
♠ ♠ ♠
Make sure to read the chapter before this! I updated twice!PLEASE COMMENT!