Everything I Used to be is Coming Back to Torture Me
The Audition
There were only three more people ahead of Clover now. She glanced at the time on her cell phone and couldn’t believe she’d been standing in line for three hours. It had felt more like three minutes. It was nearing seven o’clock in the evening and she hadn’t bothered to update her foster parents since she texted them with a cock-and-bull story about tutoring a girl who needed help with her math. She’d received several texts from both of them, asking when she would be home, asking for more details since she’d been pretty vague about who she was tutoring and where. Instead of lying more, she simply ignored them, putting her phone on silent so when she told them she’d put her phone on silent so they could concentrate on the tutoring, she’d be only half-lying.
The next person stepped forward into the room where Avenged Sevenfold sat. There were only two more people left in front of Clover.
Clover pulled her drumsticks out of her front jeans pocket and began to roll them nervously back and forth between her palms. She wasn’t even entirely sure why she’d even signed up for an audition. It wasn’t like they’d choose her. One, she was female. Two, she didn’t have any former band experience. Three, she looked nothing the part of rock star. Four, she’d spent the last half of her life in an extremely religious atmosphere and she figured the bigger, more corrupt world out there would more than likely completely overwhelm her. But she’d chosen to give it a shot anyway just because there was the tiniest little inkling of hope left for her.
Clover could hear the person currently in the room auditioning. She’d been able to hear most of the people playing. They all sounded awesome. So, she’d spent the last three hours silently freaking out about the audition. What if she messed up an extremely crucial note? She’d be so embarrassed. How could she even compete against all these other people? She felt sure most of them had formerly been in bands. Most of them fit the role. And here she was, sticking out like a sore thumb among the crowd of ripped jeans, pierced faces, and tattooed bodies in her clean, conservative clothes and boring, undyed, hardly styled hair.
Clover suddenly found herself face-to-face with the closed door leading into the audition room. She hadn’t even noticed the two people in front of her step forward to audition. The moment she realized she was next, the door opened and the last person to audition before her stepped out.
“Next,” a male voice called from within the room. Clover took a deep breath and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.
The room was dimly lit. At the front of the room, Avenged Sevenfold sat at a long table. In front of the long table, a drum set sat on a raised podium beneath a glaring spotlight. Clover swallowed hard and stepped forward, trying to appear confident and trying to keep her heart from beating right out of her chest. She climbed up the three steps leading to the podium and stood next to the drum set, clutching her drumsticks tightly with both hands to keep them from shaking.
“Clover Kissinger?” M. Shadows sat in the middle of the table, with Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance on either side with Johnny Christ next to Zacky.
“Yes,” Clover answered. She was surprised to hear confidence in her unwavering voice.
“We’re glad to have you,” M. Shadows replied. “I’m Matt, this is Brian, Zacky, and Johnny. I presume you know why we’re holding auditions?”
Clover nodded. It had been big news among Huntington Beach Avenged fans when Mike Portnoy quit the band. The auditions had been even bigger news.
Matt continued to do all the talking while the three others just sat and looked at her like stone-faced killers. Clover focused on Matt, since he appeared to be the least intimidating one at that exact moment.
“Why don’t you take a seat at the drums and get a feel for them? There’s some sheet music sitting there, and we’ll instruct you on which one we want you to play,” Matt said, nodding towards the drums.
“Okay,” Clover answered, turning and seating herself on the stool behind the drums. After adjusting the height of the stool slightly, she took inventory of what all the drum set contained. It looked pretty basic, not much different from her one at home.
“Turn back to the first page of the sheet music and play just what’s on the first page,” Matt instructed. Clover nodded and picked up the sheet music, flipping it back to the first page. Taking a quick glance through the notes, she recognized it as notes from a random part of A Little Piece of Heaven. She instantly felt more comfortable. She had this entire song memorized. It was one of her favorites to listen to and to play.
“Do you recognize it?” Matt asked, obviously noticing Clover’s relaxation.
“Yeah,” Clover answered simply.
“Well, go ahead and play it when you’re ready.”
“Alright,” Clover said. She put the sheet music in place and picked up her drumsticks. Starting the beat in her head, she hit the first note and then ran with it, not even looking at the sheet music. As usual when she played, everything seemed to fall away and it was just her and the drums sitting in an abyss, either floating or falling. She completely forgot that Avenged Sevenfold was sitting there until she stopped on the note the sheet music stopped at and looked back up at them.
They all sat staring at her looking slightly dumbfounded. She smiled nervously and it seemed to break their trance. They instantly huddled together, speaking in low whispers that Clover could not hear. After a few moments, they pulled away, and this time Brian spoke.
“Play the fifth sheet,” he said. Clover turned to the fifth sheet of music in the little packet and recognized it as a different, much more difficult part of a different song. She didn’t know this one as well as A Little Piece of Heaven, but she did know it.
She played the section for them with ease and looked expectantly up at them for more. The four men exchanged a single glance and then Matt told Clover to play the very last sheet. She turned to it and found an extremely fast and technically difficult piece of music. She took a few seconds to look it over before recognizing the song and where in the song this part was. Then, she played it, making it look like child’s play all the while.
There was silence once she finished. All four men wrote down a few notes and then Matt spoke up again.
“Thank you, Clover, for auditioning,” he said. “We will call you with any updates that we may have.”
Clover stood, slipping her drumsticks back into her pocket. “Thank you.”
Matt just nodded and Clover walked down off of the podium and out the door, feeling that maybe her audition had gone better than she hoped.
The next person stepped forward into the room where Avenged Sevenfold sat. There were only two more people left in front of Clover.
Clover pulled her drumsticks out of her front jeans pocket and began to roll them nervously back and forth between her palms. She wasn’t even entirely sure why she’d even signed up for an audition. It wasn’t like they’d choose her. One, she was female. Two, she didn’t have any former band experience. Three, she looked nothing the part of rock star. Four, she’d spent the last half of her life in an extremely religious atmosphere and she figured the bigger, more corrupt world out there would more than likely completely overwhelm her. But she’d chosen to give it a shot anyway just because there was the tiniest little inkling of hope left for her.
Clover could hear the person currently in the room auditioning. She’d been able to hear most of the people playing. They all sounded awesome. So, she’d spent the last three hours silently freaking out about the audition. What if she messed up an extremely crucial note? She’d be so embarrassed. How could she even compete against all these other people? She felt sure most of them had formerly been in bands. Most of them fit the role. And here she was, sticking out like a sore thumb among the crowd of ripped jeans, pierced faces, and tattooed bodies in her clean, conservative clothes and boring, undyed, hardly styled hair.
Clover suddenly found herself face-to-face with the closed door leading into the audition room. She hadn’t even noticed the two people in front of her step forward to audition. The moment she realized she was next, the door opened and the last person to audition before her stepped out.
“Next,” a male voice called from within the room. Clover took a deep breath and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.
The room was dimly lit. At the front of the room, Avenged Sevenfold sat at a long table. In front of the long table, a drum set sat on a raised podium beneath a glaring spotlight. Clover swallowed hard and stepped forward, trying to appear confident and trying to keep her heart from beating right out of her chest. She climbed up the three steps leading to the podium and stood next to the drum set, clutching her drumsticks tightly with both hands to keep them from shaking.
“Clover Kissinger?” M. Shadows sat in the middle of the table, with Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance on either side with Johnny Christ next to Zacky.
“Yes,” Clover answered. She was surprised to hear confidence in her unwavering voice.
“We’re glad to have you,” M. Shadows replied. “I’m Matt, this is Brian, Zacky, and Johnny. I presume you know why we’re holding auditions?”
Clover nodded. It had been big news among Huntington Beach Avenged fans when Mike Portnoy quit the band. The auditions had been even bigger news.
Matt continued to do all the talking while the three others just sat and looked at her like stone-faced killers. Clover focused on Matt, since he appeared to be the least intimidating one at that exact moment.
“Why don’t you take a seat at the drums and get a feel for them? There’s some sheet music sitting there, and we’ll instruct you on which one we want you to play,” Matt said, nodding towards the drums.
“Okay,” Clover answered, turning and seating herself on the stool behind the drums. After adjusting the height of the stool slightly, she took inventory of what all the drum set contained. It looked pretty basic, not much different from her one at home.
“Turn back to the first page of the sheet music and play just what’s on the first page,” Matt instructed. Clover nodded and picked up the sheet music, flipping it back to the first page. Taking a quick glance through the notes, she recognized it as notes from a random part of A Little Piece of Heaven. She instantly felt more comfortable. She had this entire song memorized. It was one of her favorites to listen to and to play.
“Do you recognize it?” Matt asked, obviously noticing Clover’s relaxation.
“Yeah,” Clover answered simply.
“Well, go ahead and play it when you’re ready.”
“Alright,” Clover said. She put the sheet music in place and picked up her drumsticks. Starting the beat in her head, she hit the first note and then ran with it, not even looking at the sheet music. As usual when she played, everything seemed to fall away and it was just her and the drums sitting in an abyss, either floating or falling. She completely forgot that Avenged Sevenfold was sitting there until she stopped on the note the sheet music stopped at and looked back up at them.
They all sat staring at her looking slightly dumbfounded. She smiled nervously and it seemed to break their trance. They instantly huddled together, speaking in low whispers that Clover could not hear. After a few moments, they pulled away, and this time Brian spoke.
“Play the fifth sheet,” he said. Clover turned to the fifth sheet of music in the little packet and recognized it as a different, much more difficult part of a different song. She didn’t know this one as well as A Little Piece of Heaven, but she did know it.
She played the section for them with ease and looked expectantly up at them for more. The four men exchanged a single glance and then Matt told Clover to play the very last sheet. She turned to it and found an extremely fast and technically difficult piece of music. She took a few seconds to look it over before recognizing the song and where in the song this part was. Then, she played it, making it look like child’s play all the while.
There was silence once she finished. All four men wrote down a few notes and then Matt spoke up again.
“Thank you, Clover, for auditioning,” he said. “We will call you with any updates that we may have.”
Clover stood, slipping her drumsticks back into her pocket. “Thank you.”
Matt just nodded and Clover walked down off of the podium and out the door, feeling that maybe her audition had gone better than she hoped.
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay, just a little FYI, this story hops back and forth between the present and the past. The "past" is really only like two months back, but it's still the past. Chapters in italics are in the past. And if what I just explained seems confusing, relax, it'll make more sense as I post more chapters. But, if you're really confused still after a few chapters, feel free to comment on my profile or ask a question in a comment on the story and I promise I will try to explain it to you as best I can without letting out any details. =}Thanks for reading!
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