Green and Gray

In the morning, I was the first to wake and when I did, all I could do was watch John sleep. He was facing me and I could hear his steady breathing. His arms were wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him. The way he held me made me feel protected, like he was going to keep me safe from anything and everything. I had never felt that was just by being in someone's embrace. It was a nice, wonderful feeling.

Most people would feel turned off by sex after they got used for it, but I didn't feel that way with John. I knew he loved me and I loved him. What we did was to express our love for one another and that's exactly what we did... a few times. I thought about this as he lied there, looking completely peaceful and at ease.

I'd never felt such a connection with anyone as much as him. I let some British jackass potentially ruin would could possibly be it for me. I hadn't known John for long, but I felt on top of the world when I was with him.

I dozed off somewhere in the time of me thinking, and woke up later to an extremely light feeling on my back, right on my spine. When I became coherent enough, I realized that the feeling was actually fingertips, fingertips belonging to John O'Callaghan. He was tracing along the length of my spine so lightly that it shocked me that it woke me up.

“Mmm, what're you doing?” I mumbled, not opening my eyes, yet.

“Touching you.” He said in a low, raspy voice.

I smiled, eyes still closed. I wasn't wearing a bra, but I had put on a light t-shirt before I fell asleep, so I could feel every touch. “And why are you touching me?”

He was silent before I felt his breath hot against my ear, “Because I can.”

I smirked, finally opening my eyes, “And what makes you think that?”

He let out a long breath through his nose as he rolled onto his back, but then used the arm that was touching my back to bring me closer to him, “Well, because last night I told you that I love you and you told me that you love me, so I was thinking that I would love to be able to touch you whenever I want,” He slipped his hand underneath my shirt and grazed my bare back, “kiss you whenever I want,” His lips met mine with some passion, “tell you I love you whenever I want, and quite possibly tell everyone that you're mine whenever I want.”

My heart soared, but I just smirked, “I think you might start annoying people if you tell people that I'm yours all the time.”

He smiled quite hugely at me, “I honestly don't give a damn as long as it's true.”

I'd never felt more loved. “On one condition,” I said seriously.

“Anything.”

A slow smile spread across my lips, “I get to call you mine as well.”

He pretended to think it over in his head, “I think I can manage that.”

The smile wouldn't leave my lips even if I tried as we kissed. I couldn't believe it. My life was shit at the beginning of the week and at the end, nothing could bring me down.

Our moment was ruined by the sound of “Shakedown on 9th Street” by Ryan Adams coming from the backseat. “Garrett's calling me.” I said then pulled away from John's chest, all the while he groaned and dropped his head to the floor.

Quickly, I reached over the seat and pulled my phone out of the compartment in my purse, “Hey Gare.” I answered.

“Where the fuck are you? We've been calling all night and all morning!” I giggled as I looked back at John, who was lying there, watching me. “Sorry, I was a little... preoccupied.”

He was quiet, which confused me, “You and John had sex, didn't you?”

My eyes widened and I choked on my own spit, “Wha-what?”

“Don't even try and lie to me. You're way too giggly to even tell me no. Hey, you guys owe me fifty bucks! They fucked!” He yelled to the others.

“You bet on us?!” I asked, feeling all sorts of anger running through my veins.

“Hell yeah we did!” The way he said it sounded like he thought I would have assumed it.

My mouth dropped then I turned to John, “They bet on us.”

His brow furrowed, “Bet on us for what?”

“What exactly did you bet on?”

Garrett chuckled, “On what you guys would end up doing. I said you'd end up in bed. Kennedy said that you guys would just talk it out. Pat said you'd throw him out of the car. Jared said you'd end up killing each other.”

I sighed, “They bet on what we'd end up doing. Garrett won.”

John's mouth dropped open slightly, “Tell them I think they're a bunch o fucking assholes.” I laughed then repeated the message through the phone.

“Yeah, yeah, just tell him that he needs to get back before tonight.”

I laughed nervously, “About that... we're actually stuck on the side of the road. We ran out of gas last night.”

“You've got to be shitting me.”

I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, “Nope, so could someone drive out here with a gas can or something?” He agreed and told me that he'd be there as soon as he could.

When the call was over, I tossed my phone back into my purse then turned and looked at John with a devious smile. With a dramatic sigh, I fell next to him. “They're on their way, what ever shall we do until then?” I smiled at him.

In response, he wrapped me in his arms and buried his face in my neck, “Sleep.” He said then kissed my pulse point, “You gave me a work out last night and now I'm beat.” The vibrations from his voice against my neck made me giggle.

I threaded my fingers through his messy hair then kissed the top of his head, “Don't complain; you know you loved it.”

I could feel him smirking against m skin, “Oh, I loved it all right, I loved it a lot.” I smiled, but didn't say anything. Instead, I kept running my fingers through his hair, “Sparrow?”

“Hm?”

He lifted his head and balanced all of his weight on his right forearm, “I'm really sorry about how Landon treated you.” I shrugged without a word. It still hurt to think that he only used me for sex even though I had John now. “You know I would never do that to you.”

I nodded, “I know, John.” I smiled softly at him.

“It upsets me to know that he was only playing you. You're too wonderful to be treated that way.”

My soft smile turned into a loving one, “But if it didn't, I wouldn't have realized how right for me you are.”

“But I know you're hurt.”

I shrugged again as I brushed my thumb across his cheek bone, “But I know you'll heal me.” He leaned in and kissed me then pulled me into his chest. The roles were reversed now: I was pressed into his neck and he was running his fingers through my hair. This slowly lulled me back to sleep.


Have you ever been in between the state of awake and asleep? Where you're still sort of coherent of what's going on, but still getting that satisfaction of becoming rested? I don't know exactly how long after I fell asleep John began to sing, but it was in my dreams.

“I could hold you in my arms. I could hold you forever.”

His voice didn't match that of Ray LaMontagne, but it still made me smile. I never really realized how much he cared for me. I was so dumb to think that Landon would ever be as good as him or treat me as well as he could. My stupid fear almost cost me the best thing that could ever happen to me.

I regained some consciousness when Garrett opened the door to the trunk, “Are you guys decent?” He called out, which was really what woke me up.

John immediately scolded him for being too loud, “She's asleep, shut your mouth!”

“I bet you're on top of the moon right now.” Kennedy was with him. “The look she gave you last night would have made me want to die if she gave it to me.”

I felt and heard John sigh, “I wanted to. I really crossed a line with it.”

“I'm surprised she forgave you.” I could only imagine the look John was giving Kennedy.

“So, was it all that you hoped it would be?” Guys were such pigs.

“Dude, shut the fuck up.” I felt him gently remove his arms and sit up. His lack of body heat immediately brought goosebumps to my arms and legs.

“Was she bad?” Garrett was going to get a swift kick in the balls soon.

“No! I just don't want to discuss this with you!”

“Oh, come on! Give us something.”

“Hey, why don't you both shut the fuck up; I was amazing.” I rattled off with my eyes still closed.

John was cracked up when I finally opened my eyes and sat up. Garrett and Kennedy, on the other hand, were looking at me like deer caught in headlights. I looked over at John with a smirk to which he smiled and leaned over and pecked my lips. It was a little weird to have an audience, but I didn't care enough to protest.

“Good morning , Beautiful.” I smiled at him with a small blush.

“Okay, you're going to make me gag.” Garrett said.

I immediately broke my gaze from John and looked at the blue eyed boy, “Fuck off and fill up my tank.”

“God, you just got laid, why are you so bossy?” He grumbled as he walked away.

“Don't think I won't punch you in the mouth because I will.” I called after him.

Kennedy was laughing as he followed Garrett back to the van. In the meantime, John had began to chuckle then wound his arm around my neck and brought me in close to him, placing a kiss to my temple. I smiled, reveling in the feeling. “You sure are feisty this morning.”

Gray met green and I laughed, “The jackass deserved it.”

He smirked, “You might want to put some pants on before they come back.”

Matching his smirk, my eyes never faltered, “Maybe I want him to see me in my underwear.”

He narrowed his eyes at me, “Put some pants on.” I laughed, but obliged.


Instead of going home like the plan had been the night before, I drove back to the farm with John in my passenger's seat, holding my hand and flipping through the songs on my iPod that was connected to my stereo. I was singing along to “Good Morning Fire Eater” by Copeland when I heard him start to laugh. Instantly, I shut my mouth.

“Is my singing that bad?” I questioned sadly, a bit embarrassed.

“What? No! You have a beautiful voice, I was just laughing at how much eighties and nineties music you have on here.”

I gaped, “Hey! I love that stuff! If I remember correctly, you guys chant lyrics from a Vengaboys song before each show!”

He laughed, “We do. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just observing how much you really have on here.” I gave him a look from out of the corner of my eye. “I swear.” I wasn't even upset, it was just fun to mess with him. I winked to show I wasn't serious and he visibly relaxed.

“So, how about we stop and get something to eat? I'm starving.” I didn't realize just exactly how hungry I was until the words left my lips. My appetite was back and I could feel my stomach eating away at its lining. “Ugh.” I groaned as I felt the pain shoot through my stomach. It had gotten to the point that I was feeling nauseous.

“Are you okay?” John asked in concern, changing the song to “Alligator” by Grizzly Bear.

I smiled tightly at him, “Just hungry. I've been living off of Starbucks, iced tea, and potato chips this past week.”

His brow creased, “That's not healthy.”

I shrugged, “I haven't had an appetite lately.”

He frowned, “Well pull over! I'll let Ken and Garrett know.”


We pulled into a Denny's off the side of the highway, next to a Pilot gas station. There were a lot of truckers inside and quite a few traveling families. Despite how crowded it was, we got seated right when we walked in. At the smell of all the food floating around, my stomach growled loudly. I grimaced at the pain and clutched my stomach as everyone's eyes fell on me.

“I'm fucking starving.” I whined.

Kennedy and Garrett smirked almost simultaneously but John continued to look at me in concern. I quickly reached for John's hand underneath the table and squeezed it reassuringly. This seemed to be enough for him to go back to looking over the menu.

The two idiots across from us were still smirking. So I sighed exasperatedly, “What are you guys smirking at?” John's eyes lifted from his menu and looked at his bandmates curiously.

“So, uh, Johnny Boy made you work up an appetite, eh?” Garrett said then raised his eyebrows suggestively.

From next to him, Kennedy tried to hold in his laughter, but failed miserably. John and I, on the other hand, rolled our eyes at their childish behavior.

“What is your obsession with us? Seriously.” I asked, sort of angry. I didn't understand why guys had to be such pigs when it came to sex.

“It's just weird to know you guys finally decided to do something!” Kennedy defended, “We all thought you guys would be stuck in that weird, more-than-friends sexual tension situation for a bit longer since John is a pansy when it comes to girls.”

“Hey!” John cried, offended. They both rolled their eyes and he dropped it, “Yeah, okay.” I smiled in amusement at the blush that covered his cheeks. That's when our obviously stressed waitress came over and took our food and drink orders after an apology of how long the wait was.

Once my order was taken, I pulled my iPhone from my bag and went directly to my Twitter app. I didn't follow many people other than my friends and family and the select band or celebrity, so there weren't necessarily many new updates since the last time I checked, which was when dinner was cooking the night before.

“CloverCayman: I haven't received any texts or calls from @SparrowAlaska. Hoping she isn't dead.” I quickly @replied her back with “I'm alive!” and continued on with the tweets.

When I came to one from a certain blue-eyed bassist, I shot him a dirty glare, which he looked at me in confusion for.

GarrettMaine: @patmaine @jaredmaine kennedymaine I won fair and square! Give me my $50!

SparrowAlaska: @garrettmaine half of that $150 should go to me and the other half to John since we did all the work!

I smirked as I hit the send button then tried to tune into the conversation they were having, but once I realized it was all about music and tours, I figured I wouldn't have much to contribute. I was still tired from the lack of sleep and really all I wanted to do was go home and pass out in my own bed. Instead, I laced my right hand with John's left and leaned my head against his shoulder as I listened to them talk about the Phillipines and Australia. I felt him squeeze my hand the slightest bit and I smiled contently, feeling comfortable enough to rest my eyes.

They went back and forth about these different countries and how excited they were to play and how crazy it was to even be able to have the opportunity to do so. I didn't fall asleep, I just listened. They all sounded so thankful and that made me respect them as a band even more.

When the food arrived, I sat straight up, but kept my hand in John's. He didn't seem to mind and I was ambidextrous enough to be able to eat with my left hand. Not much was said between the four of us as we began eating, but I knew that was because we were all too busy stuffing our faces to start a conversation. It felt good to finally be able to eat and enjoy something other than chips. I really had John to thank for my appetite coming back and also for my happiness.