Secret Admiring

 

I went into school Monday morning tired because I didn't get the full effect of rest and relaxation after my active weekend. I sluggishly made my way to my seat and sat down. 
I rested my head on my crossed arms which were comfortably placed on my desk. 

"Missed me?" Ryan whispered in my ear after he walked in. 

"Hey," I said, grumbling and rising like a zombie from the dead.

"Well, good morning, sunshine!" He greeted cheerfully. "Last night wasn't the same without me, huh?"  

"Of course not," I said as I scratched the top of my head, adding more 'messy' to my messy bun. 

"Did you have fun Saturday?" 

"No, I hated it. It was the worst day of my life." I said sarcastically with a smile. 

"Well, you have to come again sometime." 

"Wait, are you asking me out on a date?" I said as I raised a brow. 

"Yes, if you want it to be one and no, if you don't," he said with a wide smile. "Beat that."

"You know- love's not a competition, but I'm winning,"

"So you're admitting that you love me?" His face lit up at that sheer thought. 

"It's the name of a song," I answered. "You have a lot of catching up to do. One day, you need to come over to my house while I hold you hostage. You won't be able to leave until you understand what I'm quoting."

"Stop quoting stuff," he argued. 

"Good point. If I stop quoting stuff, then you won't have a reason to come over and hang out with me all day." 

"Quote away, love," he said, instantly changing his mind. 

"Aww, thanks, sweetie," I said with a smile. 

"No problem, baby. You know I can't handle not seeing you for long periods of time."

"Wow, hun, you are a real smooth-talker," I said with a surprised tone which showed how impressed I was with his ability to come up with that line. 

"Love you too, darling," he said with his dazzling white, award-winning smile. 

"You can't correctly say that because I never told you that I loved you, Shecky." 

"Well, I love you, Lynnie," he said with a tone that sounded serious. It didn't sound like he was saying that just to say it.

"Wait, are you serious?" I asked pausing the, what I thought was, joking couple banter between us. 

"Well, yeah, sorta, I guess." He said sheepishly before the bell sounded. "Aren't you?" 

I ignored his question and the bell, for that matter. The teacher wasn't in the room, after all. Ms. Brinkley was always late. "You've been serious this whole time? Like, with the nicknames, the invites, the kiss, everything?" 

"Well, not everything, but I do love you."

My eyes widened as I stared at him in amazement. Ryan just said that he loved me, but I don't love him. He's a hottie with a body, no joke. My heart starts racing when he smiles at me; it skips beats when he touches me. For crying out loud, my heart stopped when we kiss, but that's not love. I don't know what it is. I've dated but it never got that far. 

"I mean- weren't you serious?" He asked. 

"Not really," I confessed. 

"Well, this is awkward." 

"You can say that again."

"Well, this is awkward," he repeated with a wide smile relieving the tension, awkwardness, and hesitation between us. Whatever feelings he, or I, had wasn't affecting our friendship and Ryan just proved it.