Secret Admiring

 

The following days were strange. The first thought would be that things were awkward but they weren't. Ryan and I would talk in class. He had even been sitting with Marla and me at lunch. The first day he joined us caught me off guard. 

Now, Marla and I don't sit in everyday places. We sit in this hall that's off of the cafeteria. It's not that we are anti-social; we do that because we can actually hear each other there. With that being said, it's hard to find us. So when Ryan bounced up, I got confused. 

"Hey," he said as walked up. He sat beside me and gave me a one-armed hug. "Man, I haven't see you since, like, 8:45 this morning."

I smiled at his randomness. I motioned towards Marla who had just popped a french fry in her mouth. "Ryan, this is Marla. Marla, here's Ryan." 

"Oh, we've met already," he said. 

"Oh," I said. I was taken aback by the fact that they knew each other. My surprise was evident in the tone of my voice, but neither gave an explanation for their prior introductions. I didn't pursue the matter any further. "So what's up, Shecky?" 

"Nothing, really," he started. "I decided to spend lunch with you guys today." 

"Well, thanks, I feel honored to be in your presence." 

The conversation kept flowing. We started talking about something and the conversation ended somewhere else. I stood up to go to the trash can as the bell sounded. Ryan and Marla stood up as well. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer before doing the same to her.

"I don't want to go to class. Who needs school? I got my girls right here." He said with a wide smile as Marla giggled. Girls? I never knew Marla to be one of his "girls". What were we? His trophy girlfriends? Were we just something to up his status? 

Marla left and Ryan walked with me to my locker. I unlocked my locker and packed as I asked about his other girl. 

"What's up between you and Marla?" 

"Nothing, why?" He asked. 

"Well, you guys never seemed close and you were calling her one of your girls and, dare I say it, touching her."

"Well, we're friends. Like, we've hung out outside of school and stuff." 

"Hmm."

"What? Why did you just 'hmm' me?" Ryan spazzed. 

"Calm down, first," I said as shut my locker and leaned against it, facing him. "I was just wondering because I felt like I was missing something."

"No, it's nothing, really. Don't worry your pretty little head, sweetie," he said. He gave me a kiss on my forehead before leaving and heading to his class. 

I felt a pain in my chest as I watched him walk away. I still wanted to talk to him about anything-- about life, about skateboarding, about music. I knew what was going on and I knew it very well. Ryan was going for Marla.