Status: yes, it's a boy x boy pairing.
Watch Me Burn
1/3
He fingered the page softly, wistfully staring at it. His eyes took in the photograph, the gleam of their smiles provoking the memory of that blissful day. His tips gently rubbed the corners of the page, sighing as he did so. His heart felt heavy, an oxymoron to the way it had felt in the photograph he held. He didn’t know when everything had turned so bad. When was he, ever, the kind to mourn over a loss of something that was never his?
He closed the book, frustration causing him to slam it down on the desk. He laid down on his bed, pulling the covers over himself. Shutting his eyes, he thought back to then, back when he was happy. When he was living life, when he was being himself. He thought back hard, wanting to forget his present-self.
The first memory that shot to him was the first peck on the cheek. At the time, what they had had was just mere friendship. He was cozy with the status of their relationship then, was even pleased with the fact that it was just platonic. He hadn’t even noticed the feelings he held, believing they were just feelings of appreciation for the friend he luckily got.
But once said friend pecked him on the cheek, the feelings he so carefully hid and misunderstood burst. For some, a simple touch was enough to kindle attraction but for him, it was there all along. His attraction was an ember, attempting to burn, waiting for that one match to set it on fire. And once he received that peck, a fire brew. Blazes of want, so strong and hot, covered him completely, scorching him as they did so.
That’s when it had all started, he thought to himself. He gulped, intense pain choking him. That’s when he had acknowledged his feelings and allowed himself to continue feeling that way. I should have pushed it all aside, he bitterly thought. It wouldn’t have gotten so strong if I just pushed it aside the first time.
Ever since things had gone bad between his friend and him, he had been punishing himself continuously. He blamed himself for allowing to feel such things, for letting it go this far. But despite it all, he couldn’t help but be glad he was hurting.
Because if he was hurting, then that meant he was feeling. And he’d rather feel pain than feel nothing at all.
He closed the book, frustration causing him to slam it down on the desk. He laid down on his bed, pulling the covers over himself. Shutting his eyes, he thought back to then, back when he was happy. When he was living life, when he was being himself. He thought back hard, wanting to forget his present-self.
The first memory that shot to him was the first peck on the cheek. At the time, what they had had was just mere friendship. He was cozy with the status of their relationship then, was even pleased with the fact that it was just platonic. He hadn’t even noticed the feelings he held, believing they were just feelings of appreciation for the friend he luckily got.
But once said friend pecked him on the cheek, the feelings he so carefully hid and misunderstood burst. For some, a simple touch was enough to kindle attraction but for him, it was there all along. His attraction was an ember, attempting to burn, waiting for that one match to set it on fire. And once he received that peck, a fire brew. Blazes of want, so strong and hot, covered him completely, scorching him as they did so.
That’s when it had all started, he thought to himself. He gulped, intense pain choking him. That’s when he had acknowledged his feelings and allowed himself to continue feeling that way. I should have pushed it all aside, he bitterly thought. It wouldn’t have gotten so strong if I just pushed it aside the first time.
Ever since things had gone bad between his friend and him, he had been punishing himself continuously. He blamed himself for allowing to feel such things, for letting it go this far. But despite it all, he couldn’t help but be glad he was hurting.
Because if he was hurting, then that meant he was feeling. And he’d rather feel pain than feel nothing at all.