Texas to Tennessee

That night flew by much too quickly. Jackson had one of his buddies pick him up. I kissed him goodbye before he left, and as I walked up to my room I felt empty yet full. I was beyond satisfied with how the day had turned out but then, I was so sad that the night had ended. My dad had cleaned up the kitchen and then gone up to his room, so the house was dark. I knocked on his door, and then opened it a little. “daddy?” I said in a small voice. I looked in his room. My dad was on the side of the bed, holding what looked like a picture in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. His head turned to look at me. He was crying. Really and truly crying.
“What?” he croaked. “What do you want?”
I took a step back. “I just wanted to say thank you for today...” I paused. “What are you doing?”
Dad turned back to the picture and then held it up for me to see. It was my mother. “You look like her.”
I remained silent. I was used to people telling me that I looked like her. We had the same eyes, hair, nose, ears, body. Everything. Even the love for horses.
My father took a swing of the vodka, emptying it. He stood up, swaying. “you look just like her.” He took a big step towards me and out of fear I ran from his doorway and into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. I slid down the door and gripped my knees. I was shaking. Today had gone so perfectly...what had I done wrong? I wiped the beginnings of a small tear from the corner of my eye and went to my dresser so I could get out my pajamas. I couldn’t let this little incident ruin my birthday. I wouldn’t let it. I put on my pajamas and got into bed. I feel asleep with a smile on my face. Even back in Texas I hadn’t done that.

At 7:30am I woke up, my smile still on my face. I had dreamt about Jackson and I in his special place. We’d been listening to music and starring up at the birds flying around in the sky. We were laughing about lord knows what. Even though I had woken up from this amazing dream, I wasn’t saddened because I knew that Jackson and I could easily do that. I got up and took a shower, a long one, where I washed my hair twice including washing it upside down. After I got out, I dried it off with a towel and went and put on a pair of jeans, a tank top and my oldest, most amazing boots; the ones I’ve used for riding since I was thirteen. I texted Jackson and told him that I was about to start training Summer and then I walked out of my room. I heard water running from my fathers room so I hurried downstairs. I grabbed two apples from the kitchen and went out the back door. The sun hit my face and for some reason, I was given this amazing rush of happiness and ambition. I jogged down to the barn, where Summer would be waiting for me. Summer had been fed and I had lead her out to the pasture, which is where I would start her training. We hadn’t built up a ring or a paddock yet, which is where I would have preferred to break her, but I’d take what I could get.
Jackson showed up before I’d gotten started. I rolled my eyes as he sat down on the fence and watched me hook up a lunge line on her halter. I had Summer walk first and when I clucked my tongue she trotted. I was surprised. She shouldn’t have understood what that meant, but here she was, trotting. This interested Jackson as well. He hopped off the fence and came towards me. I slowed Summer down and looked at him.
“How...?” He asked, his eyes feasting on Summer as she stood quietly in front of us.
I looked at her too. Studying her. I tightened the lunge and had her walk and trot again. After a few minutes of that, I became curious. I clucked my tongue again and whistled. Summer broke into a full out run. I smiled and slowed her down again. I let her off the lunge line and watched her run through the pasture. Her muscles were well seen in the sunlight and I couldn’t help but adore the way she moved. After watching my horse I turned to talk to Jackson. “She’s trained.”
He frowned. “No. No way.”
“Oh really? Well, I lived on a horse ranch, I’ve broken horses before and they were a hell of a lot harder to deal with. She’s trained, she just hasn’t had a lot of good experiences with people, which caused her to spook more.” I glanced back at Summer whom was now eating hay. I couldn’t wipe that smile off my face for anything. Summer was much more than she seemed, that was for sure.
“So what are you going to do now?” Jackson asked, coming up beside me and watching Summer with me.
I didn’t stop looking at Summer, but I told Jackson with absolute certainty, “Ride her.”
I felt his shock before he even spoke. “What?!?”
I grinned as wide as possible, and even giggled a little. I gave him a hug. “I know you think she wild, but she isn’t. She’s got a soul and a spirt. Humans could use a little more of that.” I kept hugging him, not wanting to let go.
Jackson pulled away, but kept his arms around me. He kissed my nose, gently and lovingly. “You’re really incredible.”
“Thanks” I let go of him. Summer had now moved away from the hay and was prancing back and forth along the fence. She looked...happy. She’d only been here one day and she was happy.
“Just...” Jackson spoke again. “Do me a favor.”
“What’s that?” I asked, feeling his worried-self coming on.
“Don’t ride today.”
I sighed. He was right. There was no way Summer would let me ride her today. She was just getting used to this place. I would have to be patient. Which was one of the hardest things for me to do. All in all, I was disappointed, but I figured that I’d just do Jackson this one favor. “Fine. I’ll wait. But not for long.”
Jackson smiled one of those “I know you too well” smiles. He put his arm around my waist. “How ‘bout we go sit on the fence?”
I know I must’ve blushed, “Okay”
Together, we walked to the fence and climbed on top of it. We rested our boots on the wood pole below us. Neither of us said anything for the longest time. He sat there, his hand resting on mine, his eyes focuses on my gorgeous horse. I would occasionally look at him out of the corner of my eye, curious as to what he was thinking about. Maybe he was pondering the view. It was a wonderful one. A spirited horse running around, playing alone, with the midday sun beating down on her. I smiled a little to myself, thinking about what a wonderful thing I had going for me. I recalled last nights thoughts too. Lately, I hadn’t been so angry with my mom and I’d thought about her in more of a nice way, remembering the good memories.
Jackson picked up my hand so I whipped my head to him to see what was wrong. “I love you, Texas.” He looked me directly in the eye and said those three words. He said those three words to a girl who hadn’t even had the word “happiness” in her vocabulary. Was he crazy?
But for some insane reason...I said those three words back. “I love you.”