Watching and Waiting

It was dark, cold and quiet. Yet there she was, walking through the park alone. Every night at the same time she walked. From where I did not know and to where I did not know. All I knew was that she would be there. Strolling innocently through the night.
She is beautiful. Her sleek, long, river flowing, chocolate brown hair. Her pale yet sun-kissed skin glowing in the moon light. I did not know her name, I did not know what she did, where she lived or what she looked like when the light shined down on her, and I did not want to. I could anytime I wanted. Right now I could follow her to where ever she was going and find out more about her, but I never did. I liked just watching her walk past every night, watching the world around her grow slowly darker.

I remember the first night I saw her. I was on my way to meet a friend and the shine of her skin caught my eye. She reminded me so much of my youngest sister, who passed away when she was far too young. I stood transfixed behind a tree so she wouldn’t see me. She looked over her shoulder a few times, like she knew she was being watched that’s changed now. She no longer glances around in fear but as she enters the park a smile graces her face, a knowing smile. Her stance changes and she walks as if nothing could harm her. She trusts me. Even though she didn’t know who I was, what I looked like, what I did, why I watched her or where I was from.

She knew as much about me as I did about her and yet she trusts me when no other has.

I wanted to know her name, that’s all I wanted. I didn’t want to encroach on her life, just wanted to know her name and maybe see her face in the light, I didn’t really care what kind of light, I just wanted to see her true beauty. I always arrived as soon as I was able even though I knew she wouldn’t be passing for many hours and then once she had gone by I would sit in wonder and dream about a day that I could talk to her and meet her.

I knew that day would not come though, it couldn’t.

So I reserved myself to thinking it was best to just watch her go by and nothing else. Thinking that what I knew about her was enough, when I know deep down it isn’t. My heart wants to know who she is and my mind is curious to know the life behind the beauty. Every night I turn up early just to have enough time to convince myself not to follow her and I stay later because I’m trying to persuade myself to turn around and walk home instead of following in her steps. Each night I’ve managed to succeed, or part of me has, but I know one night I won’t be so strong. I know one night I will try to talk to her and I hope that night she will take one look at me, turn around and walk away from me as soon as possible.

I have never felt like this about someone in a long time.

I’m not sure if I like it.