What is love?

Dear Diary,
All of my time, my love, it's all wasted. It's over. I've exhausted my ability to shed anymore tears, and I can't burden anyone else with my sadness. Why didd he have to do this to me? He could have stayed with me, he didn't have to leave. I begged him to stay over, I knew something was going to happen today. I woke up with a bad feeling. Today he picked me up and we went out for lunch like always, where after he stayed over for dinner. It was late. He could've stayed over. I offered to let him stay.He insisted that he needed to get home. " I'll call you as soon as I get home, I love you." Last words he said to me. When I got the call, it was to tell me that my boyfriend was hit by a drunk driver, and he didn't make it. It was dark. I'm sure it would've been hard for the other driver to see him, even if he wasn't drunk. But he was. And he's gone. Holden Micheal Blake, the love of my life, is now gone. Forever. I'm shutting down, letting the grief take me over. What's the point. I mean, really, what is love? II've just experienced how it can be taken away from us, I've witnesssed how we may never have it, and how it can completely torture us, all in my lifetime. I wish someone would explain what love is to me, because, all I'm gathering now is cruel humor. everything happens for a reason, right? Someone please tell me mine, this would be so much easier.

Scarlette

I closed my journal, and walked over to my vanity. I felt under the table, for the loose floorboard. A little more prodding, and... Ah, here. I pulled up the board and deposited my dairy. I replaced the board, straightened up, and looked in the morror. My eyes had dark rings under them, and were bloodshot from lack of sleep. My dark brown hair seems to have lost it's luster, and my eyes, though not rimmed in red, don't have my usual mischeivous sparkle. I haven't been crying. I don't have the energy. I'm in shock right now. I need Holden. At the thought of him, my heart breaks in two. I'll never find anyone like him. How will I go on? Sighing, pushing away morbid thoughts, I grabbed my jacket and decided to go for a walk. I ran a brush quickly through my hair and turn my light out. I peek at my alarm clock. 6:54 p.m. I had time to take a walk and be back before dinner. I walk down the stairs, and out the front door, leaving a note for mom.

I walk slowly down the driveway, turnng right onto 2nd Avenue. I'm wandering aimlessly, heading for the library. Not paying attention, I realized how lost I was getting. Nervously, I looked around. A few feet back, I saw a man following me, about 29 feet back ,but definately following. Shivering, I turn back and face forward. A shadow moves in my periphiral, and I jump. What was that??? Fear grows in me as I realize the man is closer now. I don't want to break out into a full blown run, but I pick up my pace. I walk faster, and then I'm jerked into a dark, empty alley. Scared to turn aound, I hear breathing behind me. Slowly, I turn...