The More You Chase It

Daisy had expected the worst after she found her boyfriend of 6 years cheating on her. After they broke up she waited for the waterworks of streaming tears, the inexplicable urges to limit her diet to tubs of ice-cream but these things never came. She never felt that something was now missing from her life; she felt free. This isn’t to say she hadn’t loved him but they had been together since high school and Daisy hadn’t yet known who she was then, and she hadn’t been given the chance to find out. Now she did, here it was.

She started out by taking more courses at her university and even tried other lessons outside of school. She realized her relationship had been stopping her from learning of all these interests she now had. With a boyfriend she didn’t have time to better herself. So she figured an existence without the bother of keeping up a relationship was much better than what she had known. Forevermore she would be happier this way because men weren’t even remotely worth the trouble.

…only that wasn’t true.

The story of Daisy and James starts with a cigarette by the water. The end...well we can focus on the end later. For now we will talk about ‘then’ and then we can talk about ‘now’.

***

April 8th, 2010
{Daisy}

The last breath of winter could still be felt in the chill of the air. The perfectly bright circle of moon contrasted starkly with the thick even black of the sky. Few stars were visible from my spot in the city, as I looked out over water. My head was filled with thoughts and worries, not even the sight of the star bright city lights reflected in the water could fully relax me. In my head I was challenging my history thesis even though this whole excursion was to take a break from my paper. The only reprieve I had of it was the slender cigarette between my pointer finger and thumb. Every exhale released a thin wisp of smoke that climbed its way to the stars. I wish I could do that. Just float away towards the sky. Look down at the city lights from such a height, watch them getting smaller as I got farther and farther away. Now that’s a thought.

The city sounds were dulled from where I looked on but I heard footsteps against the cement near me. Another onlooker had appeared, only a silhouette a few feet to my left. Out of the corner of my eye I could deduce that he was wearing a hoodie. Oddly enough, he was also wearing dress pants.

“Um, excuse me, do you happen to have a light?” an unlit cigarette teetered at the edge of his mouth as he spoke. Even as he asked he felt around his pockets one last time.

I dug around in the front pocket of my jeans and pulled out the silver lighter I always used. “Here ya go.”

He nodded in appreciation and was quick to light it. The tension of his body became clear when he took the first drag. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” I returned the lighter to its place in my pocket and continued to stare out at the water. I wondered if I was supposed to keep up a conversation with this guy. I wasn't really in the mood to be thinking about social protocol. But, I was kind of curious as to why he was wearing a hoodie over a suit.

“Come down here a lot?” He finally broke the silence.

“I suppose, you?”

He shook his head, “Just found it tonight. Nice little spot.”

“Yeah I guess it is.” I looked over at him. He stood very straight and fairly tall. He looked out of place here, in a tatty grey hoodie, “What’s got you hiding here?”

Conversation seemed to be coming so naturally, I wondered how long I could keep it up. A portion of my thoughts were still arguing over the war of 1812.

His index and middle finger together pointed across the water so his cigarette wouldn’t fall. I followed the line to a bunch of cars and white tents. “It was getting kind of crowded over there.”

So that’s why the suit. Something pretty high brow looked like it was going on over there. It hadn’t even registered to me before he had pointed it out.

“What are they doing over there?”

“Premiering a movie for the hundredth time.”

He took a long drag from his cigarette. It was hard not to notice his traditionally handsome jawline but it was still too dark for me to make out many of his features.

“and what were you doing there?”

He shifted his weight slightly, like for a moment he lapsed into discomfort. “I’m an assistant.”

“Oh.”

“and what about you? What do you do?”

The last drag of my cigarette was shorter than I would have liked. I stamped it out under my foot as the last of the smoke escaped my lips.

“I’m a student.”

The man turned to look at me. He was smiling. Why was he smiling?

“Me too. What’s your major?”

“European History. Yours?”

“Creative writing... I’m James, by the way.” He held his hand out for me to shake, taking a step closer so I could see his face clearly. It wasn’t only his jaw line that was handsome. There was something offbeat and charming about him, not that I was attracted to him in anyway. I wasn’t looking for that. He was just like every other guy. Not worth the effort.

“I'm Daisy.”

He had a strong grip when I shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you Daisy.”

--Ya, Nice to meet you too.--