Care Free

I felt so good with Logan. He took me to lunch quite a few times and I we had small conversations about nothing important. I still wanted Shane though. I didn’t know why I wanted him, he was no good.

“I want to dye my hair someday,” I told Logan.

“Huh,” He looked thoughtful, maybe picturing how I would look. A smile crossed his face. “Maybe you should.”

I frowned; I knew I wouldn’t look good if I dyed my hair. I secretly wanted to though. These were the types of conversations Logan and I had with each other. We talked about things that were on our mind at the time we were talking. Sometimes I thought he expected more from me, hooking up. But it was Logan, Logan never expected anything.

“I don’t know…” I trailed off in thought, still about dying my hair.

Lunch ended and we went back to school. I saw Shane and instantly put my guard up.

“Hey, you,” he said, smiling at me. I thought he was done with me. Glory be, I had graduated to communicating with him.

“Hi,” I said.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you.” He said. I knew this wasn’t true and didn’t feed into the bait. It was incredible how I could have such a huge crush on a guy one day and the next see him as a lizard. A reptile is what he was. I laughed to myself. I was going crazy.

“Um, just around.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“We should hang out or something.” He winked at me. I knew what that wink meant.

“I’m—well, I…” I searched my mind for an excuse.

“How about after school? We can drive around for a bit…maybe…park somewhere,” He raised his eyebrows in an extremely sexy way. “You know.”

“Well, I d-d-don’t know.” I stuttered. For the first time in years I stuttered. I can’t believe I just stuttered. I could feel my face heat up and I tried to think about other things so it would go away, I prayed he didn’t see.

“Meet me at my car.” He sauntered off. I watched him leave, my eyes making their way down to his butt. I felt creepy when I realized what I was doing. I was creepy.

I stood by his car, waiting. He took his sweet time with a girl I’ve never seen before. I was tempted to just leave his ass.

“What’s up?” He raises his eyebrows at me and smiles.

“Nothing,” I muttered. I couldn’t allow myself to stutter again. I hadn’t thought of my past recently, the past where I stuttered. I had gotten over it a couple years ago, with the help of a speech coach. I knew how to breathe now and not be so nervous when I talked to people. Shane was bringing the bad out of me.

“Okay, let’s go somewhere,” he said, he winked at me again. I felt intimidated by him, he was trying to get me to fool around with him and I wanted to so bad. I also felt like somehow I was betraying Logan if I did.

He drove to a small park, coincidentally the park that Logan brought me to. I couldn’t believe it.

“We should g-g—,” I took in a deep breath. “We should go somewhere else.”

“Come here,” he said, his eyes looking all sultry and everything.

“We should go somewhere else,” I repeated myself.

"Please...come." I didn't know what he was referring to when he said 'come'.

“I can’t come...there…” I eyed the console in between us. Thinking maybe if I stared at it long enough it would get bigger, blocking Shane out.

“Climb over it,” he said.

“I’m not going to climb over it.” I rolled my eyes.

“Then I’m coming there…is that ok?” He asked, a hint of his sweetness coming back.

“Sure.” He climbed over the console, picking me up awkwardly so he could scooch under me to where I was sitting on his lap.

“Hi,” he said. He blushed. I didn’t know what to think when he blushed so I turned away, allowing him privacy, if you will.

“Hey,” I smiled.

“I’m gonna kiss you.” And he did. He kissed me slowly, his tongue making long sweeps in my mouth. His hand traveled to my hip and I got goose bumps. He made everything feel so good. Refreshing.