This Masterpiece Will Fall Apart

“Finley, please get your boots on, for the last time,” I frowned at my son from the front door. Finley just folded his arms across his chest and pouted at me.

“I don't want to!” Finley whined at me.

“Finley, can we not do this today?” I begged my child. There I was, a 26 year old male begging a 5 year old to get his boots on. Finley just continued to pout at me. I sighed. “Finley, if you don't get your boots on, you're not going to see uncle Airin.” Finley glowered at me, a trait I hated that he got from Josline, and shuffled to his boots and slid them on. I heaved another sigh and I took Finley to Airin's. He pouted the entire way there. I really did not know what I had done to upset him, but he usually acted like this up until the week Josline was supposed to be home.

Once we got to Airin's, Finley had seemed to cheer up. I knocked on the door to Airin's apartment, and was greeted by Duncan. He wasn't much taller than Finley, but Duncan was a thinner than Finley. Finley rushed into the apartment, abandoning his coat and hat on the floor. “Oy, Finley Matthew, pick your coat up!” Finley stopped, turned around and picked up his coat, which he handed to me. I hung it up and looked over at Airin, who was sitting in a chair with a book in his hands. Airin was shaking his head at me,which I frowned at. I went and sat down on the couch that was next to his chair.

“And you thought the terrible twos were bad,” Airin said, closing his book.

“I honestly don't know what I did Airin,” I said.

“You probably didn't do anything. He's just being a little shit,” Airin said.

I looked over at Finley. Him and Duncan were looking at something that Duncan was waving around frantically. “I really feel like I don't even know my own son.” I said looking back at Airin. “I think I liked it better when he couldn't talk back to me.”

“Ah, don't worry. I feel that way about Duncan. He's a lot closer to Marque then he is me,” Airin said.

“I bet Duncan doesn't scream at you at the top of his lungs,” I said. Airin chuckled and shook his head.

“Oh, how wrong you are. Duncan is definitely not as sweet and innocent as he appears to be. He's a little devil at times. The day I went to pick him up at Matt's, he was absolutely ecstatic. About two days later, he was screaming at me, saying he wanted Marque instead of me.” Airin shrugged. “Being a dad isn't easy Josh. No matter what age your kid is, it's going to be hard. And now you're going to have a screaming infant mixed with a screaming 5 year old.”

“Thank you for reminding me of that,” I grimaced.

“I don't mean it as a bad thing Josh! I'm just telling you that screaming children are inevitable. I hated my dad for the longest time growing up. I think it was mostly because I didn't see much of him for the first few years of my life.” Airin said. I could tell he was trying to lighten me up, but it wasn't helping much.

“I think that's why Finley dislikes me so much, because I'm away from home so often. When I had that downtime between Fix Me and Masterpiece Theatre, I saw him almost every day.” I sighed heavily. “Sometimes I just think I should put music on hold.”

“Do you know how badly Josline would beat you if you did that?” Airin said. I just looked at him strangely. “You've worked way too hard to quit.” I went to say something, but Airin cut me off. “I know what you're going to say, family is your number one priority. And if you honestly feel like stopping for a while is best, I'm not going to stop you. But, just remember, you're still young. You still have time to get all of this childish energy out of you before you really want to settle down. Do a few more tours. Hell, do even one, just to see if you still feel that way. Besides, once that other baby decides to show up, you definitely will be spending a bit of time at home.”

When I brought Finley home, he was in the midst of another tantrum. He wanted to stay at Airin's longer than what we did. When we were in the house, Finley screamed at me that he hated me. I honestly didn't know what to do. I told Finley that if he was going to act like that, then he had to sit in his room and he wasn't going to have dinner until he apologized. After Finley had slammed his door shut, I sat down, defeated, on the couch. I honestly didn't know how Josline did it, keeping the raging Finley storm at bay. Finley was definitely like Josline, in more ways than one. They both had heated tempers, and they were both small (Finley was small, even for a 5 year-old). The only thing Finley really got from me was my dark hair and blue eyes.

I called Josline a few minutes after Finley had stopped wailing from inside his room. “Hi Josh,” Josline greeted me when she picked up.

“Josline, I really need you home right now.” I told her.

“Josh, you have two hands. You don't need me for that,” Josline said. I heard some laughter in the background.

“No! Not that!” I exclaimed.

“Oh, what is it then?” Josline asked, becoming a little more concerned.

“It's Finley. I took him to see Airin and Duncan for a little while, and when I took him home, he screamed at me that he hated me. I seriously don't know what to do.” I said.

“Oh no...where is Finley now?” Josline asked.

“Pouting in his room.” I said. “I said he had to go sit in there until he apologized, or else he wouldn't have dinner.”

“Well, that's a start.” Josline sighed.

“I really do think he hates me,” I told her.

“Oh, Josh, Finley doesn't hate you!” Josline sounded shocked. “Finley adores you.”

“But he rarely throws a tantrum when you're around.”

“That's because Finley's had his mouth washed out with soap,” Josline said.

“You...you didn't.” I covered my mouth.

“I did. He was being a little shit one day, and more than he normally is too, so I took him into the bathroom and stuck the soap in his mouth. Now, whenever I have to take him somewhere, and he starts getting out of hand, I look at him and say, “Finley, there is a bathroom here.” He stops what he's doing immediately.” Josline explained. “I wouldn't suggest you do that though. It's what my mom did to me and Airin when we were younger. But we sure learned fast what we could and couldn't do.”

“I think my mouth out with soap once. Well, probably more than once.” I said.

“Do you want to know why I think Finley is acting out towards you?” Josline said.

“Please, tell me. I need all the help I can get right about now.” I sighed.

“Work, Josh. You work too much. Even when you are home, you barely spend time with him. I think Finley thinks that you don't want to spend time with him. Even when I have at least 10 minutes of free time on a busy day, I'll play a quick game with him or something.”

“What? That's not it at all! I do want to spend time with him.” I said.

“Then take him to the park or something. Don't just sit around all day and do nothing. He's still a child. He's not entirely independent.” Josline said. Maybe that was why Finley was so upset with me. I did work a lot.

When I finished talking to Josline, Finley had come out of his room, with a sad look on his face. “Daddy?” Finley said. It was the first time in about a month that he hadn't called me Josh.

“Yes?”

“I'm sorry.” Finley apologized. I went up to him and kneeled down in front of him. “Can I have dinner now?”

“Only if you promise me that you're not going to yell at me anymore,” I said.

“I promise.” I smiled and hugged him.

“And I promise I'm going to spend some more time with you, okay?” I said. Finley looked at me with bright eyes.

“You are?” Finley asked.

“I am. In fact, how would you like to go to the park tomorrow after I pick you up from school?” I asked him. Finley nodded excitedly. I kissed the top of his head and stood up. “Okay, I'll make you some dinner now.” Finley smiled, taking my hand and followed me into the kitchen.