This Masterpiece Will Fall Apart

Josh and I went out to breakfast, and I did feel a little better after. I didn't feel as stressed out as what I had been feeling. But as soon as we got home, I had to finish my packing. I basically threw my entire wardrobe into my suitcase. I always liked to have spare changed of clothes to put on after a set. I didn't like hugging people with sweaty clothes on. Airin usually had to bring hundreds of pairs of underwear because he sweat so much. Oh, the life of a drummer.

I was downstairs in one of the spare rooms trying to separate what equipment was mine, and which was Joshes. There was honestly too many things in the basement. Josh had what seemed like hundreds of guitars just spread out all over the place. At least all of my things were in the same general area. I went into the other spare room and grabbed a green Rubbermaid container. That's what patch chords and mic chords usually went in for me. I wasn't fancy enough to have the expensive crates that most bands had. Plus, the Rubbermaid containers were easier to pack and store away. And I could almost fit inside one, which we discovered on the last tour when we were really bored.

I heard the door that divided the basement from the stairs going upstairs open, which was followed by a squeal. I peeked my head out of the room and saw Keith and his and Josie's 5 month old son, Brandon. “Oh, hey Keith!” I said, exiting the spare room. “What are you doing here?”

“Josie asked me to bring this over for you,” Keith said, holding out a mesh bag. I took it and looked inside. There were boxes of teas and small cans of jam. Josie had been giving me tea and jam since I had pretty much known her. And she didn't give me normal teas either. She gave me ones that would “soothe my soul”, “de-stress me”, or “open my chakra”. The jam was just because I liked it.

“Well, thank her for me,” I smiled, setting the bag on the couch that was downstairs. Brandon stretched his little arms out towards me, and then started to whimper. “Oh, come here you little goose.” I took Brandon from Keith, and Brandon started to play with a strand of hair that had fallen out of my pony tail.

“You might want to be careful there. He'll start gnawing on your hair if you let him,” Keith said.

“Keith, I've had a 5 month old once. I know all about that,” I said. “Come on, why don't we go upstairs?” I said. Keith nodded at me, grabbed the bag I set down and we walked upstairs. Keith put the back on the island in the middle of the kitchen and we sat down at the dining room chairs. “So, how close are you to being done packing?” I asked my cousin.

“Not very. My clothes are all just sitting in one big pile on the floor. My guitars and stuff are all packed up and ready to go,” Keith said.

“I just finished packing all my clothes. Well...half-assed finished,” I admitted.

“We always were the ones that had difficulties packing, weren't we?” Keith laughed. I nodded in agreement. I then got a face-full of Brandon's unruly red curls. I sputtered and blew his curls out of my face. Brandon twisted and squirmed when the sudden blast of air hit his face.

“Oh God, what have I done?” I said when Brandon started to whine. Keith laughed and took his son back. Brandon started to grab at Keith's glasses. Keith tilted his head back trying to prevent his son from taking them. “You know, he looks exactly like you.”

“Aside from the curly red hair and freckles, I can totally see it,” Keith said, sitting Brandon down on his lap. “Josie's dad says he looks more like her though.”

“Well, Josie's got the curly red hair, so that's probably why,” I said. Josie did have beautiful curls that I would have killed for. “Do you think you're going to have anymore kids?”

“Ah, maybe. Josie is 35 now, “ Keith said. I had completely forgotten about the age difference between the two of them. It was only 5 years, but it really didn't seem like it. I was just so glad that Keith had found someone that he loved. He really deserved it after all that had happened. And Josie was amazing. “But we'll have to see.”

“I think little Brandon needs a sibling,” I said “booping” Brandon's nose. He stared at my finger in amazement, and the giggled.

“What about you? Plan on expanding the clan anytime soon?” Keith asked.

“I really don't think any immediate plans. We both agreed that we'd like more kids, we just don't know when,” I explained to him. “I mean, Finley just turned 5, and I really don't want there to be such a big gap between the kids.”

“Yeah, I mean, just look at Zack's family. His oldest sibling is 32. Didn't he just turn 19 in July?” Keith questioned.

“Yeah, that's right,” I said.

“How many kids does Eloisa have?” Keith asked me.

“I think she has 6,” I said.

“Holy shit,” Keith said.

“Well, they're a big Italian Catholic family. What do you expect?” I laughed.

“I thought having a brother 5 years older than me was much,” Keith said.

“I thought having Airin as a brother was much,” Keith shook his head at me.

“Try having 2 sisters,” Josh added, walking into the kitchen.

“I would love two sisters,” I said, leaning backwards in the chair. Josh walked over and kissed the tip of my nose.

“You can have them,” He said.

“If you give them to me, you're just going to wind up with them again,” I said. Josh paused what he was doing.

“Oh, dammit!” Josh sighed. He morosely grabbed a coffee cup from the cupboard and poured coffee into the cup.

“You just can't seem to win this week, can you Ramsay?” I snickered. He shot me a look that told me to shut up. I held in a laugh and Josh sipped at his coffee.

“Are you finished packing?” Josh asked. I looked away from him. I jumped when I was hit in the head with a rolled up newspaper. “Bad Josline! What did I tell you? If you don't finish packing today, you get none of this,” Josh motioned to himself. Keith started laughing at the two of us.

I shrugged, “Oh well. I hear Matt's available,” I deviously smirked. Joshes eyes grew. He pointed his finger at me.

“Don't ever joke about that,” Josh said with a dead-serious look. I couldn't hold in my laughter.

“This really isn't a conversation I want to be part of, so I'm going to go,” Keith laughed. He stood up, hoisting Brandon on his hip, who started to play with the string on his hoodie.

“Alright, I'll see you later,” I got up and gave Keith a quick kiss on the cheek, and Brandon's forehead. Keith said good bye and left. I turned to the bag that was sitting on the counter. I grabbed the bag and turned around, smiling proudly at Josh, “Look at what Keith brought me!” Josh looked up from his coffee cup and then looked back down. I set the back down and sat back down in my chair, “Josh, what's wrong?” My voice was filled with concern. Josh ran his thumb along the lip of the cup.

“Nothing, I'm okay,” he said. It didn't sound very reassuring.

“Well, normally you would have made some kind of comment about how Keith brought over a bag for me or something along the lines of that,” I said. Josh kept his eyes down. “Joshua Keeler Ramsay, you know I'm not going to stop pestering you until I get an answer out of you.” I said firmly. Josh heaved a sigh.

“I've just been feeling a little insecure lately,” he said. “I always start feeling that way before you leave on tour. Because I know there are guys out there that would be so...”

“Don't you even dare think of finishing that sentence,” I said. Josh looked up at me. “Josh, there is no one more perfect for me than you. I wouldn't have agreed to marry you if I wasn't in love with you,” that seemed to lighten Josh up a little. “You know, I always feel insecure when you go on tour, but it's part of the job. You meet people all the time, no matter where you are. You wouldn't believe how many times I've wanted to punch the girls you take pictures with. I felt they were so much prettier than me. But, I've gotten over that.” I said. There was a slight smile tugging at Joshes lips. “I'm not going anywhere soon Josh. Well, figuratively, because I am going to get up to pee in a few seconds, but you get my point,” Josh laughed a little, the smile breaking through his serious countenance. “Ah, there's my Josh.”

It was later that night; I had finished sorting through my equipment. I had my hair thrown up in a messy bun, I had my glasses on, and was wearing my old sweatpants from high school (my team was the Falcons). I plugged my iPod into the little stereo Airin had bought me for Christmas and searched for a song (Wake Up by Coheed and Cambria). I paused it before the song started. “Hey Josh, could you come here for a minute?” I called. Josh appeared a few seconds later. He was already in his sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“What are you doing?” He asked me. I walked up to him and grabbed his hands, pulling him to the middle of the living room. I moved the coffee table over so there would be more room.

“I just wanted to show you that, no matter what, I'm not leaving anytime soon. Even if I look like a hobo,” I smiled. I pressed play on my iPod and the song started playing. Josh chucked and shook his head.

“Are you serious right now?”

“I'm very serious. Now come here,” I grabbed his hands again and pulled him towards me. Josh had the silliest grin on his face ever. He wrapped his arms around my waist and, because I was so small, could only place my hands on his shoulders. We moved slightly out of tune to the music, Josh stepped on my foot a couple of times. “You're so uncoordinated!” I told him when he stepped on my foot for a fourth time.

“I'm sorry! I was never any good at this!” Josh blushed. I smiled.

“Don't worry. You'll get it eventually.”