This Masterpiece Will Fall Apart

The band had just wrapped up a video shoot and I was sore and cold. The video required me to walk along a window ledge (it was an indoor set and I was hooked up to a harness), and I slipped at one point, scraping and bruising both knees and my hand. My hand was wrapped up in bandages because of how badly it was bleeding, and the director Mitchell said it worked well with the theme of the video (which was how society pushes people to the brink of self-destruction). Keith drove me home from the shoot at around 10:00, and as soon as I opened the door I was greeted by the loud wail of one of the twins. I sighed slightly and walked into the house, taking off my shoes and closing the door behind me. I walked into the living room and saw Josh holding Autumn and bouncing back and forth on his feet slightly. Josh turned around and relief flooded his face.

“Thank God you're home.” Josh said. “She's been crying for hours and I can't get her to sleep.” The hopelessness in Joshes voice was almost too much to bear. I smiled sympathetically at him and held out my arms for our screaming daughter. Josh handed her over to me and I cradled her against me.

“Oh, what's all this fuss about, eh?” I said lightly rocking back and forth. I felt Autumn's forehead, and she wasn't hot. “Are you just giving your dad a hard time?” I held Autumn against my chest and started to hum softly to her. Autumn's wailing turned to a small whimper, and then she just stopped completely. “See? You're alright.” I looked over at Josh, who looked exhausted but relieved. “You're just being a little brat, aren't you?” I smiled slightly and took Autumn to her room to put her to bed. I quietly shut the door once Autumn stopped being fussy and walked back into the living room to see Josh slumped on the couch. He looked at me with a tired smile.

“Thank you.” he said.

“All it took was a mothers touch.” I said, sitting down next to him.

“You just have a soothing voice.” Josh said. “It's not terrifying like most British accents.” I laughed slightly. Josh accidentally took my injured hand in his and I flinched. He looked down at my hand and then back up at me. “What the fuck did you do this time?”

“I died.” I said. Josh was taken-aback for a second, but soon regained his composure.

“Oh, how did that go for you?” Josh asked.

“Quite well actually.” I nodded at him with a look of approval on my face.

“That's...good?” Josh tilted his head in confusion.

“I've got some more on my knees.” I said, pushing up the legs of my sweatpants. Josh leaned over and looked at my knees.

“Too many back-alley blow jobs?” Josh smirked at me. I smiled and shook my head at him.

“You know that doggy is more my style.” I said. That surprised Josh and he looked some-what terrified, then his face turned red. I shrugged . “You started it.”

“I didn't know you were going to take it that far.” Josh said.

“That was just about as far as you took it.” I said. Josh tried to think of something to say, but eventually just gave up and slumped against the couch again. I then snorted, “That's what she said.” Josh slapped a hand to his forehead and shook his head at me.

“You're more perverted than me sometimes.” he said.

“I trump you in perversion.” I said.

Josh paused for a second before looking at me with puzzled eyes, “Why are we even having this conversation?”

“I honestly don't know.” I replied. “90 percent of our conversations are like this. Why are we even surprised at this point?” Josh shrugged at me.

“It keeps our lives interesting.” Josh said. We both stayed quiet for a few minutes.

“Want to go do it?” I asked suddenly, in a very serious voice. Josh looked at me with a shocked expression.

“Wh-what?” Josh nearly gasped.

“Come on, don't guys always have that on their mind?” I asked. Josh tried to scramble for words. “I'm only kidding dear.” Josh paused and looked at me in confusion.

“You're in a weird fucking mood tonight, aren't you?” Josh asked.

“I'm always in a fucking mood.” I wiggled my eyebrows at my fiancé. Josh thought for a moment before turning his face away. He stood up from the couch and started to walk away from me.

“I...I can't deal with you right now.” Josh said, trying so hard to not laugh.

“Oh, come on!” I flung myself to a side of the couch.

“No, no. You're too weird for me right now.” Josh laughed, walking into the kitchen. I got off the couch and followed him. Josh had started to put together a small snack. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his lanky frame.

“But I have needs!” I whined at him.

“The last time you had needs, we had twins.” Josh said. He moved around the kitchen with me still attached to him. “Will you let go of me?” I shook my head into his back. Josh chuckled slightly. “Well, can I at least have a snack before I satisfy your needs?” I shook my head again. “Really? Can I at least have a cracker or two?”

“Fine.” I mumbled into his back. “Two crackers.” I let go of Josh and he turned around. “But then,” I motioned to my “lady region” and walked out of the kitchen. I heard Josh laugh and I could only smile.