This Masterpiece Will Fall Apart

Josh and I really hadn't talked much since I told him I had to go to England. I don't know what I had done to piss him off so bad, but it upset me. I had never fought with him like that, except one other time when I was pissed off at him; I was slamming cupboard doors and he came out of the bedroom and said, “Do you want me to show you how to slam a fucking cupboard door?” and made one fall off its hinges. We had never fought like that since.

Josh did agree to take me to the airport the day I had to leave, however. We had dropped Finley off at school and the twins at Joshes parents house. There was a lot of traffic going to the airport, so there was a lot of awkward silence. “Are we ever going to talk about this?” I asked when traffic had stopped again.

“What is there to talk about?” Josh asked in a condescending manner.

“You know, that's what really pisses me off about you Josh. You're just so...” I stammered, “You're just so 'ugh' sometimes, you know?” I said. “What the hell did I do to piss you off this bad?”

“I had been planning that trip for months, Josline.” Josh told me.

“I know, I know. I appreciate that you would go out of your way to do something like that, but you should know that things come up.” I told him.

“I do know that, but that's nine-hundred dollars gone that we can't get back now.” Josh said.

“I'm sorry about that. What would you of liked me to tell Morgan? 'Oh, can you pause on putting your foot in the music industry door?'” I asked.

“Could of worked.” Josh shrugged.

“Dammit, Josh! Why can't you understand where I'm coming from here?” I asked him, my voice starting to rise.

“I do understand, Josline! I understand things come up. I understand that sometimes you can't get out of situations, but this was one you could of.” Josh told me. He was right; I could of told Morgan that I had other plans and couldn't make it, but I didn't.

“Morgan is one of my best friends. He made me promise that when he got a record deal that I would record something on his album, no matter where I was in life.” I told Josh. “I can't break a promise like that. We pinky-promised! That shit is legitimate.” I slumped back against my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. “We had to cancel our trip to Mexico because you had to play Massey Hall.” I mumbled.

“That was different.” Josh said.

“How?” I asked. Josh couldn't seem to answer; I had cornered him. “It's not different at all.”

“At least I was staying in the country.” Josh grumbled.

“Oh, come on. You can't tell me that you'd break a promise like that.” I asked him. Josh looked over at me, and then back at the road when the car in front of us started to move.

Josh sighed, “No, I wouldn't.”

“So, do you get it now?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Josh said.

“And I really am sorry. I could have told Morgan I had other plans, and we could be in Hawaii right now...” I started to say.

“Don't worry about it. You made a promise.” Josh said, still keeping his eyes on the road. I couldn't tell if he was being sincere or not, but I went with it.

We finally got to the airport after nearly an hour of delayed traffic. Josh had taken my suitcase out of the back of the car, and I said goodbye to him and started to walk in to the airport. Josh grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Wait, I don't want you to leave while we're on bad terms.” He told me. “I'm sorry I was being such an idiot.”

“It's okay Josh. You had every right to be upset.” I told him.

“No, I didn't. Things happen, and you made a promise to a friend.” Josh said. “We can always go to Hawaii some other time.”

“Knowing you, you'll book a trip within the week.” I said. Josh frowned slightly.

“Okay, I'm not that bad.” Josh said.

“You book trips almost as frequently as you go through boxes of Coke Zero.” I jabbed him in the side. “Or as frequently as your Gucci jacket purchases.”

“I've only bought from there two...”

“Four.”

“...four times.” Josh sighed. “But one of those times was for you.”

“And it didn't even fit properly.” I told him.

“I thought that since you're small, you wear a small.” Josh said sheepishly.

“I might be small in stature, but my chest makes me a large in clothing.” I pointed out. Josh smiled slightly. Josh bent down and lightly kissed me.

“I love you.” he told me in a nearly serious voice, but there was still softness to it. He looked me straight in the eyes when he said it, like he wanted me to know he wasn't lying.

“I love you too Josh.” I replied.

“I'm sorry I was being such an ass the past couple of weeks.” Josh said.

“It's okay. I understand that you were upset.” I told him.

“Yeah, but I didn't have to be a major douche bag.”

“But, you're Josh 'Douche' Ramsay. It's in your nature.” I joked. Josh raised an eyebrow at me. “I've been on Tumblr a lot...”. Josh laughed and shook his head at me. He wrapped his arms around me securely and held on to me for a while. “Josh, I need to go, or else I'm never going to get to England.”

“My plan is to keep you here as long as I can.” Josh said.

“You could of come with me.” I told him.

“I know, but I don't want to go to England. It rains a lot there. And I don't understand anyone.” Josh said.

“You understand me.”

“Only about twenty percent of the time. The other eighty, you sound like you're speaking gibberish.” Josh pointed out.

“But you haven't even met my extended family.” I said. “I had to meet yours. They don't exactly like me.” Joshes extended family seemed to have a problem with me, and I wasn't sure why. But whenever I would see his aunts or uncles, I would basically be ignored.

“Oh, they like you.” Josh said.

“Yes, because ignoring me and calling me 'that girl' is really being liked.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Yeah, well your brother doesn't exactly like me.” Josh pointed out.

“But that's his job.” I said. “He's supposed to hate every guy I date because he's the older brother.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Josh laughed. I looked up at him and hugged him one last time before dragging my suitcase inside. I just really hoped I could keep it together in England.