Something Ends, Another Begins

Ali's P.O.V.

I stuck my feet in the water of my backyard pool as I found myself reading Josh's letter for the millionth time. I moved my feet around, making gentle splashing noises, which strangely calmed me. The moon shone right above me, so bright that I didn't even need a separate light to read the letter. The wind was calm and the weather was mildly cool. It was nights like this that reminded me of the many times Josh and I would lay in my backyard, both of us silent, just looking up at the sky. We would have a blanket over us, his arm around me, my head on his chest, and his fingers gently stroking my hair, making me want to fall asleep. I read the letter, telling myself that, other than memories, this was the only thing that I have left of him.

After reading the letter who knows how many more times, I noticed how tired I was. I was tired but, I just couldn't bring myself to fall asleep. There are too many thoughts going through my head. The first thought, of course, is Josh (although, there is not a time when I'm not thinking about him), the second thought is my father's wedding this weekend and meeting my soon-to-be stepmother, and my third thought is Cameron. I haven't spoken to him all day, ever since we encountered that mysterious guy that seemed to know all about Cameron's past.

Sitting in my backyard next to my pool, thinking about Josh and Cameron brought back the memory of the day I had a little get-together at my house just a couple of weeks before Josh died:

I hear myself giggle as Josh's lips tickle the side of my neck, just slightly grazing over my skin.

"I love you," he whispers in my ear and kisses my jawline. I turn my head and press my lips against his.

"Ew!" I hear a voice exclaim near us. I don't need to think hard to know that the voice belongs to Cameron. "Will you two just get a room?"

Cameron and his idiot buddies start to laugh as Josh and I pull away from each other. I glare at Cameron and reply, "Will you just grow up?"

"Will you ever stop being such a hag?"

"Will you ever stop being such an asshole?"

"Okay, children, that's enough," Josh interrupts, sounding tired and irritated. "Stop it."

"She started it," Cameron mumbles.

"I started it? How old are you, ten?"

"Ali," Josh says to me softly, "just let it go."

"You know what I think?" Cameron asks slowly.

"Wow, you actually think? Shocker," I say sarcastically.

"I think," Cameron continues, "Aliana here is a little too stressed and cranky. Maybe she needs a relaxing swim. Right, guys?" He turns to his friends behind him, who all start laughing and nodding.

I suddenly start to see Cameron walk over to the lawn chair where Josh and I are both sitting in. Then, in one quick motion, Cameron lifts me from Josh's lap and throws me over his shoulder.

"Cameron!" I exclaim as I start hitting his back hard and kicking my legs, hoping to kick him in the face. "Let me go!" I don't even hear or see Josh trying to help me. I just hear people laughing.

"Okay," Cameron says, "if you insist." Then, in a matter of seconds, I'm in the pool rushing up to the surface.

"You fucking idiot!" I practically scream, but Cameron is just standing there laughing and holding his stomach.

"Oh, calm down, water is not going to kill you." He rolls his eyes and gets back to his little group of friends as if nothing happened.

I stomp out of the pool and I see Josh holding out a towel in front of me. I snatch the towel and mumble, "Why didn't you try to stop him?"

"Ali, he was just messing around, it's not a big deal. Don't take it personally."

I roll my eyes and ask him, "Why are you even friends with this jerk?"

Josh doesn't say anything.

Now, after all this time, I finally understand why they were so close and why, despite Cameron's tendency of being an asshole, Josh remained his friend. Cameron is going through the exact pain I'm going through.

I don't like to admit it, but the way he just yelled at me and accused me of telling someone something I promised I wouldn't tell just bothered me. I've been bothered by it all day. It's honestly a weird feeling to be bothered by something Cameron has said to me. Three months ago, if something like this were to happen, I wouldn't even care. It would just be another thing to add to the endless list of Cameron and Ali's pointless disputes.

This time, it's different. I can't help but be bothered by the fact that Cameron doesn't trust me.

"Ali," I heard my mother say behind me. I turned and she continued, "There's someone here to see you."

Believe it or not, I saw Cameron walk up next to Mom. He waved and said, "Hey."

I just stared at him and replied, "Hi."

After Cameron walked outside, Mom just turned and closed the patio door.

I turned back around, facing my pool, as I heard Cameron slowly approach me. "Can I sit down?" I heard him ask.

"Sure," I replied, not looking at him.

I felt him sit beside me and we were both silent for a few minutes. "Ali," I finally heard him say. I couldn't help but turn my head and look at him. "I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier today. You didn't deserve it."

"Do you honestly think that I would be a big mouth and tell people about something I promised you I wouldn't talk about with anyone else?"

Cameron shook his head. "No, of course not. I don't think you would ever do that. Even to me. I guess I just panicked earlier when Tim started saying all of that stuff and I didn't know how he knew all of that."

"Tim?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah," Cameron said, looking down at his lap, "Tim's the guy that knows all of that stuff about me. And that's because he used to be my neighbor back when I was still living with my dad."

"Are you serious?"

He nodded. "Unfortunately, Tim and his dad and me and my dad had...a certain bond, you could say. To be more specific, we all did drugs together. Whether they came to our house or we went to their house, there would always be drugs being used and alcohol being drunken."

"Oh my God," I breathed. "But why is Tim here?"

Cameron sighed. "He's super pissed at me because after my dad got arrested and I told the cops everything, Tim's dad went to jail also for possession of illegal drugs. After school today, he threatened to beat me up. So, basically, Tim is out to get me for revenge." He said it like it was no big deal. Like he didn't care at all.

"Aren't you worried?" I asked.

Cameron shook his head and shrugged nonchalantly. "No. Tim doesn't scare me. And you shouldn't be scared of him, either."

"I don't know," I said slowly, "He's a pretty big, tall, intimidating guy. I wouldn't want him coming after me."

"Don't worry, Ali," Cameron said, sternly, "I'm not going to let him hurt you. I'm not even going to let him be anywhere near you. You're safe, okay?"

I'm not quite sure if he was being sarcastic or serious but, either way, I replied, "Thanks."

It was silent between us for a while. But, surprisingly, it wasn't an awkward silence. It was more comfortable, calm, relaxed.

I suddenly heard Cameron ask, "So, are you doing anything this weekend?"

"Well, I'm actually going to my father's wedding in New Jersey."

"Oh, that's right," Cameron replied, with a certain tone of voice. It sounded almost like some form of...disappointment?

"Are you doing anything?"

"Um," he said, thinking, "Chris is having this party tomorrow night so I might be there."

"Of course you will," I blurted out, unexpectedly.

He gave me a look. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"No, seriously, what do you mean by 'of course you will'? Are you judging me for wanting to go to a party?"

"Of course not. I just wasn't surprised by the fact that you want to go to a party and flirt with girls, that's all." I heard him sigh heavily at this and I could already feel an argument beginning to rise. I was definitely too tired to argue with him so I said, "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a bitch."

"You don't sound like a bitch," he replied, but I could tell in his tone of voice that he was upset about something.

"Then, what's wrong?"

"It's just...I just wish you would stop seeing me as the guy who only cares about partying and picking up chicks. I want you to know that that guy is not who I am."

I felt a little guilt in the pit of my stomach as I slowly and cautiously slid closer to him. "I know you're not that guy. But, if that's not who you really are, why do you let yourself come off that way?"

"It's easier, I guess," he said. "It helps keep people away from getting to know you and your personal life."

I knew exactly what he meant, but I couldn't find any words to reply to him. So, once I moved close enough that our arms were touching, I rested my head against his shoulder. I felt him slightly stiffen at first but eventually, he relaxed and gently leaned in next to me.