Something Ends, Another Begins

It wasn't until after I got off the plane I realized how cold New Jersey really is...and it's not even winter yet.

I looked around the terminal in the airport and sure enough, there was my dad sitting down in one of the seats, looking anxious, and not even noticing me yet. I cautiously walked up to him, ignoring the part of me that demanded I quickly find a flight back home.

"Hi, Dad," I said quietly.

He jumped up from his seat when he heard my voice and looked down at me. "Hi, sweetie," he said gently and we shared a really brief, awkward hug. We of course haven't been on the best speaking terms ever since he told me about the wedding. The only time we spoke after that was when I called him to tell him that I would come to his wedding, but I would not be a bridesmaid or have any participation in the wedding, which I think is pretty fair considering the circumstances.

"You must be hungry after that long flight," Dad said as he grabbed my luggage and we started walking. "When we get home, I'll fix you something to eat." He's talking as if I've lived in Newark, New Jersey my whole life. As if this place is my home.

"Fine," I answered.

***

"So," Dad said as we started driving away from the airport, "how's school?"

"It's fine," I replied, staring out the window at a green sign that read, 'WELCOME TO NEWWARK, NEW JERSEY'.

I heard him begin to say something else, but he stopped himself. It wasn't too long of an awkward silence before I heard him ask, "How's your mother?"

"She's fine," I replied again. I really wasn't in the mood for small talk, or any other talk.

I heard Dad let out a frustrated sigh at my lack of conversation. "Ali, I just want you to know how much Ruby and I really appreciate you coming all the way over here to be at the wedding. I know you're not going to be in the wedding, even though it would make me ten times happier if you would be, it still means a lot to me that you care."

I didn't respond to this. I just continued to sink into my seat and stare out the window. "So, where is your lovely bride-to-be?" I heard myself ask in a monotone voice.

"She's at home. She really can't wait to meet you."

"I wish I could say the same," I mumbled, more to myself than to Dad.

***

"Honey, we're here!" Dad called when we both stepped inside the one-story house that actually looked pretty nice. I cringed when I heard my dad call a woman who isn't my mother "honey".

I heard footsteps coming out of what I presumed to be the kitchen and coming toward us. Soon enough, I came face to face with a woman with firey red-orange wavy hair. Her face immediately lit up when she saw me and I noticed that (surprisingly) she actually looked my dad's own age. Don't ask me why, but I just imagined her to look like half of his age. As Ruby started walking closer to us, I glanced at her small baby bump and was reminded that she wasn't the only person new in my life.

"Ali, this is Ruby. Ruby, this is my daughter, Ali," Dad introduced (as if we couldn't figure that out ourselves) and gave me a look that read 'you better be nice'.

I tried my hardest to display a convincing welcoming smile as Ruby said, "Hello, Ali. It's so nice to finally meet my future stepdaughter. Your father has told me so much about you. You're absolutely gorgeous." Before I knew it, I was being pulled into a hug. It took all of the energy I had to wrap my arms around her and return the hug. When she pulled away from me, she added, "We really do appreciate you coming all the way over here, honestly." I could tell that Ruby already knew about my initial dislike towards her relationship with my dad.

"Uh," I replied, "it's no problem." I still had my fake smile on display, clearly aware of the hard stare my dad was giving me.

After a brief awkward silence, Ruby gestured down the hall and said, "Your room is just down there, the last door to your right. You can wash up and do whatever you have to do. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

I grabbed my luggage and walked down the hall to the last door on my right. I quickly washed my face and slipped on my yoga pants and comfy t-shirt. Pretty soon, I heard Ruby call out, "Ali, dinner is ready!"

***

To say that dinner was awkward would be an understatement. The three of us were all so quiet that all I heard was the silverware hitting the plates and crickets from outside.

A few seconds later, I heard Ruby say, "So, Ali, your father tells me that you like to sing?" She told me this as more of a question than a statement, as if she was asking me to confirm it.

"Yeah, when I was about eleven. I'm not really into singing anymore." I tried to pretend that I was actually fascinated with this small talk topic.

"Well," my dad joined in, "Ruby is actually a singer herself. She won lots of awards while she was in her high school's choir." I guessed this was another attempt to get me to "warm up" to Ruby.

"Interesting," I replied, still looking down at my plate.

Another awkward silence.

"Ali," Ruby said, in a tone that made me look up from my plate. "Once again, I want to thank you again for deciding to come to the wedding. Your father and I are so glad that you're doing this for us."

"Actually, I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for my father only." Apparently, that wasn't such a lovely thing to say because right after I said it, Dad shot me this look that made me think he wanted to kill me.

"Oh," Ruby said, with a hint of disappointment in her voice. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel guilty after hearing her hurt tone of voice. "I just thought," Ruby continued, "that after everything you've been through, losing your boyfriend and all, that this wedding would take your mind off of everything and you'd want to enjoy this special time with both me and your father."

I don't know if it was the fact that my dad told Ruby all about Josh, which was the last thing I wanted him to do, or just the mention of Josh alone, but something made me snap. "Excuse me," I said to Ruby, "but you don't know anything about my boyfriend or how I'm feeling about this wedding or what I want. In fact, you don't know anything about me at all. You just met me. Just because you're going to be my stepmother does not make you another motherly figure in my life. This wedding does not take my mind off of anything. It is actually just a reminder that, thanks to you and your little bundle of joy, my parents are never going to be given a second chance."

"Aliana, that's enough," Dad yelled, angrily. The death stare he had given me before intensified as Ruby just looked at me in shock and sadness. It took me a while to process everything that I had just blurted out.

Feeling worse than I had before, I stood up from my chair and announced quietly, "If it's alright, I'm going to go to bed early." When neither Dad nor Ruby stopped me, I quickly put my plate in the sink and rushed toward the guest room, feeling utterly embarrassed.

As I lay in bed that night and went over how I had acted all evening, I was surprised they didn't toss my luggage out of the house and ordered me to go back home.