Something Ends, Another Begins

I was still locked up in the guest room at twelve o' clock in the afternoon the next day. I was actually terrified of what I would have to face if I left that room. I felt ashamed and guilty of going off like that in front of Ruby and my dad. I guess I had it all together up until she mentioned Josh. After that, I just lost it.

Of course, I didn't realize all of this until this morning. It was like I was drunk last night and didn't completely comprehend what I was saying and it's come back to bite me in the ass this morning. I knew I would have to leave that guest room sooner or later or else my dad would end up kicking the door down and dragging me out of the house for the wedding (believe me, he would do it). Which is why I decided to call Cameron to hopefully get some helpful advice on how to handle this situation (neither Christie nor Jenny would answer their phones, so I had no other choice).

"You actually told her that because of her, your parents will never get back together?" Cameron asked to clarify on the other line.

I felt myself smack my forehead out of shame and I groaned, "Yes."

"Wow, Ali, that's rough."

"Yeah, no kidding. I don't even know why I said that in the first place since it's pretty clear my parents are not in love anymore. Both she and my father made me so mad that I had to say something. I know it was stupid, so you don't need to tell me."

"Do you think maybe you were just looking for a reason to snap at them?" Cameron asked.

"What are you talking about?" I replied, genuinely confused.

"I mean," he said, "you haven't been exactly favorable of this whole wedding thing ever since your dad told you, right? Now that you've met your dad's new wife, you wanted to let her know exactly how you're feeling. So, maybe you were subconsciously waiting until she would say something to make you snap and get angry." I was stunned silent after he told me this. As I was still processing this in my brain, I heard him add, "Does that sound about right?"

"Uh," I muttered, "I don't know. Maybe. I can't figure out any other explanation. When did you become a psychologist?"

"Oh, Liz minored in Psychology when she was in college, so she's been teaching me some stuff."

"Okay," I replied, "that explains why I said what I said. But, how do I make things right and not have them hate me."

"The only thing you can do, Ali," Cameron replied. "You need to talk to both of them and apologize. Honestly, there's really nothing else you can do. What's done is done."

I heard myself groan again. "Is there any way I can make things right by not interacting with them at all?"

Cameron softly chuckled and said in a slightly stern voice, "Ali."

I sighed and nodded my head, as if he could see me. "Yeah, okay, I get it. I'll go apologize."

"Good. Call me later and tell me how it goes."

"I will. That's if I'm still alive."

"Stop being so dramatic," Cameron said, but I knew he could tell I was joking.

"Thank you, Cameron," I said.

"No problem."

We hung up and I took a deep breath before quickly opening the door, before I changed my mind.

I slowly walked to the kitchen, where I heard someone washing dishes. I peered my head in the kitchen and found my dad near the sink. Ruby was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, Dad," I said slowly and cautiously.

"Morning," he replied, not even looking up at me.

I let out a small, shaky breath as I asked, "Where's Ruby?"

"She's at the bridal store trying on her dress one more time before tomorrow." Still no eye contact.

"Dad, I'm sorry," I blurted out, not being able to take the awkward silence any longer. "I'm sorry I was so disrespectful yesterday. It was wrong for me to take out my personal feelings on you and Ruby."

This got Dad's attention. His eyes slowly met mine and I braced myself. "Do you know how excited Ruby was when I told her you decided to attend the wedding?" he asked.

Great, the guilt trip.

Dad continued, "Right after I told her, she was already getting the guest room ready for you. She worked so hard to make you feel comfortable and welcome here in our home and what do you do? You throw it back in her face as if she's the worst person in the world. Tell me, Aliana, were you planning to treat her so horribly before you came here?"

"No, of course not," I replied, slightly offended, since he should know me better than that. "It's just, I'm still not fully comfortable with the idea of you marrying some other woman. Let alone, a woman I've only known for less than a day. And, on top of all this, you knew how I've been feeling this way. Did you really expect me to be all happy and cheerful about this a few weeks after you unexpectedly announced your engagement?"

"I was hoping you would be," he replied. "I guess I never really thought about how you would be taking all of this. I just expected you would be okay with it and at least be supportive. Which, I now realize, was very selfish of me."

I let out a huge breath as I saw Dad take a seat at the kitchen table. "Dad," I said quietly, "I want to be supportive and okay with this. I really do. I just feel like my whole life has flipped upside down the last few months and almost everything has changed. I just wish you would give me time to get used to the idea of you getting married and starting a family with someone who's not Mom."

Dad nodded as he looked down at his hands which were folded on the table. "I understand, Ali. I'm sorry I never really asked you how exactly you were feeling."

I slowly walked towards the table and sat across from him. "You don't have to be sorry," I said. The next few moments were silent. "I know I haven't been fair at all to Ruby and I'm sorry for that, too. I know that if I want to get used to you and her being together, I need to give her a chance and get to know her better."

Dad gave me a small, understanding smile before he said, "Maybe you should tell her that."

***

A half an hour later, Dad pulled up in front of bridal shop where, apparently, Ruby was.

"I don't know," I mumbled as I stared at the entrance door, "What if she hates me and doesn't want to talk to me."

Dad chuckled in the driver's seat. "She's not like that. She'll listen to what you have to say. Come on." I sighed and a couple of seconds later, found myself unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the car door. "Alright, I'll see you later," Dad called out before I closed the door. I smiled and nodded at him before he drove away.

I quickly walked up to the store entrance door before I could change my mind and run off. I looked around all the dresses on racks to see if I could recognize the firey red hair, but the store was practically empty.

"May I help you?" I heard a woman ask.

I turned my head around at the cashier behind the cash register and walked toward her. "Yes," I replied, "I'm looking for a woman named Ruby. Is she here by any chance?"

The woman smiled knowingly and nodded. "Of course. Follow me." I hesitantly followed her to the back of the store and through a door with a sign on it that read, "Dressing Room".

Right when I walked through that room, I immediately saw Ruby, her back facing me, in a long, fluffy white dress with criss-cross straps in the back. Ruby was looking at a mirror when I walked in and she noticed my reflection almost immediately.

"Ruby," the cashier said, "this young lady is here to see you." I suddenly noticed another woman with long blond hair tied back in a ponytail with a wine glass in her hand standing next to Ruby and turning her head to look at me.

Ruby turned, as well, and looked genuinely surprised to see me. "Oh," she said, "hello, Ali." Her tone of voice was completely different than the one from yesterday. She sounded very dull and nonchalant, which kind of bothered me.

"Hi," I replied to her, quietly. I attempted to give her a look that read 'I need to talk to you, alone'.

Apparently, Ruby received that look successfully since she turned to the cashier and her blond friend and said, "Tina, Jess, can you please give me and Ali a minute alone?"

The blond girl and the cashier exchanged what looked like confused looks and slowly walked out of the dressing room, closing the door behind them.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here, Ali. What's up?"

I figured I might as well get it over with and quickly said, "I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for being such a brat yesterday. All you were doing was trying to make me feel welcome and I threw it back in your face and was really mean to you when you don't even deserve it and I really hope you don't hate me."

Ruby gave me the same small, understanding smile Dad gave me. "It's okay, Ali."

"No, no it's not okay. This whole time I've been treating you as if your some bad person when I really don't even know you."

"Ali," Ruby said, gesturing towards a fancy white couch in the corner, "have a seat." I sat down on the couch and watched Ruby sit down next to me. "I'm not going to lie and say that some of the stuff you said last night wasn't hurtful to me, but I guess I'm partly at fault and should also apologize for bringing up your boyfriend. You're right: I don't know anything about you or how you're handling your father getting married to someone you have just met." Ruby talked with this sweet, nice, and soft tone of voice that just made me feel even worse.

"No, Ruby, you don't have to apologize for anything. I should have been more mature and calm when you started mentioning Josh."

"I do understand why you reacted the way you did, though." Her voice became quieter and I noticed her look down at her lap.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Ruby took a deep breath and exhaled before turning her head towards me, her facial expression unreadable. "When I was about sixteen, almost your age," she began, "I had a best friend named Ethan. We were best friends ever since kindergarten and we practically did everything together. He was amazing to me. He would look out for me, protect me, and stand up for me when I couldn't do it myself. I loved him so much. Eventually, however, my love for him as a brother grew into being in love with him. When I realized I had fallen in love with Ethan, I started imagining our lives if we were to ever get together. I pictured my dream wedding, our first child, and us growing old together. However, that obviously never happened because I never got to tell him I was in love with him." Ruby paused for a moment and took another deep breath. "That's because, one night, I was awakened by my frantic parents who told me that, while Ethan was flying to see some relatives, his plane had crashed. There were a several survivors including his parents, but Ethan wasn't one of them. I didn't want to believe it at first and didn't cry at all. But when I went to his funeral, I broke down. My only friend and the love of my life was gone. I never even got to say goodbye to him, let alone tell him I loved him."

I was stunned silent for a few moments, not knowing at all what to say. It was so unexpected to hear that Ruby lost the boy she was in love with, as well. And the boy never knew she was in love with him.

"Ruby," I finally said, my voice surprisingly hoarse, "I'm so, so sorry. I just feel like an even bigger jerk now."

Ruby formed a small smile. "Don't feel like a jerk, Ali. I just figured I would tell you this so you would know that I know how difficult it is losing someone you love. I also want you to know that I am not a terrible person and I love your father very much. He is so sweet and kind and I know he really cares for me. I just wish you would see me as your stepmother and not some home wrecker." She giggled at her last comment and I giggled with her.

"I don't see you as a home wrecker," I told her. "Out of the whole time I have known you, I could tell you're a nice, smart, beautiful woman who loves my dad and I really hope you and my dad have a great life together with my soon to be little brother or sister."

Ruby happily looked down at her baby bump and rubbed it gently.

"Can I ask you one thing?" I asked.

"Anything," Ruby replied.

"After losing someone you're completely in love with, how do you know if you're ready or if you ever will be ready to feel that way again with another guy?"

"It all has to do with time," Ruby said. "Of course, right now, you're still mourning over your boyfriend and you don't think you'll ever love someone like that again, but believe me when I say that you'll eventually come to the conclusion that your boyfriend would want you to be happy and live your life. He would want you to fall in love with someone who cares about you and would want you to be happy with this person. You might not realize this now, but over time you'll know. You just have to be patient."