Always Something More

“I didn’t know you’d be in town, or else I would have made my appointment to get with you. I know you’re very busy.”

Me and Kennedy both turned around and faced him.

“Dude shut up that’s not funny.” Kennedy of course had to speak up.

“Ha Ha Eric you’re so not funny.”

Eric Halverson. AKA John’s wing man. Where ever John was Eric was at too, they were also best friends. He and I never really saw eye to eye. Sure we were civil to each other because we were both John’s friends, but we still gave each other snotty comments. I never took anything that came out of his mouth to offensive, I knew essentially he was joking.

He had grown up so much. He use to be this little boy, with an awkward body and really funny looking hair. But he wasn’t that boy anymore. His hair was shorter and wasn’t in his eyes anymore, and his style looked so much better than those baggy jeans and oversized shirts. To be honest he wasn’t looking to bad.

“Hey I had to give it a shot. Now come here and give me some love.” I just laugh and walked over and gave him a big hug. Maybe now that we were older and more mature things would be different between us.

“It’s good to see you. And you don’t look like you have Down syndrome anymore.” Okay maybe I was the one who needed to grow up.

“Ha Ha you’re not funny.” I stuck my tongue out and laughed at him. I heard Kennedy trying to hold back a laugh. “Oh shut up, I don’t look like I have Down syndrome.” I crossed his arms and started to pout.

Yeah whatever you say Halvo.” Kennedy laughed out.

“Whatever. I still hate you Rae.”

“you know you love me, everyone loves me.”

“Everyone? Not your sister or Garrett.” Kennedy and I stopped laughing and we both got serious. I shook my head and turned around to see Austin Gibbs finishing up his song.

“That wasn’t cool bro.”

“Oh come on it was a joke, she started it.” Halvo was a complete idiot.

“Thank you everyone! You guys were great. I’ll be around later on, come say hello.” Austin gave one last wave and walked over to us.

“You were amazing. I’m going to go buy your CD. I’ll talk to you guys later.” I walked away, not making eye contact with Halvo. He went too far, I was joking and I knew he was but it was just too soon to joke about that.

The crowd was insane. It was hard to just get over to the merch tables. I finally found Austin Gibbs merch table and he had a nice display, there were quite a few shirts, posters and his album.

“How much for his album?” I said politely to the guy who was behind the table.

“It’s actually his E.P. and its only 5 dollars.” He gave me a smile and looked me up and down. I pulled out my wallet and pulled out a 5 dollar bill and handed it to him. “There you go” I started to feel uncomfortable, as his eyes looked all over me. I grabbed the E.P and walked away.

A group of guys went out on stage; I didn’t see Jared so it must have been the other band, This Century.

I went to the back of the crowd, not daring to get into the pit and being around the crazy girls. Their sound was actually nice. The lead singer had a very unique voice. And all the other band mates, dressed like they were 40 year old men, but it was cute. It was a nice style.

I felt my phone vibrate, I pulled it out and it of course was Andy.

”How’s the concert? Did The Maine play yet?”

I replied “the concert is pretty good. No not yet. A band called This Century is on now. Their pretty good.”

“Ohh nice sounds awesome. Are you having fun?”

“I’m having my moments of fun.”

“Once The Maine comes on you’ll be having the time of your life. Maybe if you’re lucky you can get with one of the band boys. I’ve heard the lead singer is hot.”

”stop your sounding gay now. And the only guy I want is in Michigan.”

”I guess I’ll be in search of this guy to get some tips. :) keep having fun. I’ll talk to you later.

I put my phone back into my bag. And brought my attention back to the band that was playing.

“How is Arizona tonight?” The blond lead singer yelled out to the crowd. In response the crowd screamed and cheered. “How did you guys like my man Austin Gibbs?” once again the crowd cheered. “Alright Alright now how about the next band, I can’t remember their name The Arizona’s? No, ohh right THE MAINE!!!!” the crowd went crazy; girls were screaming at the top of their lungs, I guess this band was pretty big, I can’t believe I’ve never really heard of them. “Well this is our last song called To Love and Back. You guys have been amazing. Come say hello to us at the merch table later on.” The band started to play and the singer started to sing.

The song was very catchy and cute. They taught the crowd the chorus and the crowd sang it back. The song finally came to an end and they ran off the stage. The light went back to normal and I wasn’t sure where Kennedy was. I thought I should go find him.

I couldn’t find him or anyone else worth my time to hang out with. I started to get nervous, I didn’t like being by myself, it was just one of those things that made me uneasy. And being around here I didn’t like the feeling of being by myself.

“Was Kennedy to embarrassed to be with you and left you?” this is why I didn’t want to be alone because I knew someone would see the opportunity to attack me.

“Whatever Carmen. How about you go back to your boyfriend then.” I turned my head away from her trying to scan the room and find Kennedy.

“Yeah you’re right I will go back to my amazing boyfriend. Who loves me.” She said in a nice but yet nasty voice.

“You’re a bitch!” I turned and walked the opposite direction. All I could hear was her laughing in the background. I had to find Kennedy, I hated leaning on people and depending on them to protect me but I needed him now.

“We Like to party we like we like to party we like to party we like we like to party OHH AHHH!” I saw Kennedy, Jared, Pat, Garrett and John in a group doing a weird chant and they were clapping. These boys were all full of surprises once they started to drink. They put all their energy into this one chant it was kind of funny to watch.

“The Maine you have 2 minutes till you go on.” Said one of the crew members.

“Kennedy hey!” he looked up and saw me standing in the door way and walked over to me.

“Hey. Are you having fun?”

“Yeah I guess I kind of am. I watched This Century, is that what their called?” he nodded his yes. “Yeah they were really good. I can’t wait to see The Maine.” He let out a laugh.

“Oh just you wait, you’re in for a good show.” I’ve never really noticed it but Kennedy’s smile was really adorable.

“Kennedy, come on, it’s time.”

“Come on follow me.” I suddenly got really confuse. Where were we going and what was going on? I followed Kennedy no matter what but I didn’t know what was going to happen.

“What’s going on?” Kennedy just looked back and smiled. “just wait, ok?” I nodded my head but was still confused.

We went to the side of the stage. “will you stay here and wait for me?” he placed his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “yeah I promise.” He smiled at me and let go. He went off and I looked around, I looked at the crowd and the crowd was getting excited for the next act.

The lights went off, it was hard to see but all you could hear were the screams from the crowd. Music started to play and I heard footsteps and people passing me. The light started to flash and flicker, I could see bodies out there but I couldn’t identify anyone.

The lights came on and they were all out there. My face fell from an excited smile to a confused expression. I had no clue what was going on. They were The Maine, all 5 of them? My mind was blowing up with questions. How did I know about this? How long had they been a band? And then came my guilty feeling, I wasn’t here to see them grow as a band. I felt horrible that I had left and they became successful, where have I been? I just stared at them with amazement. I remember John telling me about writing some songs but I just laughed it off not thinking anything of it.

They were amazing, no wonder everyone liked them, they were actually good. Jared of course was rocking out on the guitar, and pat, little Pat was a drummer, I would have never of guessed and Kennedy he was just too cute out there. And John, he was shirtless and he looked amazing. Sweat already dripping down, his voice was powerful and you could hear the passion in his voice. They looked like a band.

John walked over to the side of the stage you get an acoustic guitar. As he was putting it on he stared at me and gave me a smile.

“Were going to slow it down a tad, this song is off of our new album Black and White” John spoke into the microphone. “It’s called Saving Grace”

This was the song Andy covered for me. I can’t believe that I knew The Maine but not really. Now hearing the real version of the song sung by the writer, Andy had nothing on John, John was an amazing singer.

“And I still remember how your lips taste on holidays You leave in December what can I do to make you stay Cos we won't fade away We’ll find peace while others change And I know your somewhere close behind me.” as he sang he looked over at me and sang to me. He looked away and closed his eyes. He put so much passion and love into what he was singing.

I felt my eyes tear up, why would John write a song about me? I did a mean trick and then just left him, why would he still care about me.

“isn’t this song great? I’m pretty sure he wrote it for me.” Carmen walked up and spoke to me. Tried to make it look like I hadn’t been tearing up, I couldn’t show my weakness to her.

“yeah it’s a nice song. Why do you think he wrote it for you?” I knew it wasn’t about her, it was defiantly written for me. I mean I left in December and he always said how I was his backbone, I never fully understood what he meant but I knew it was a good thing.

“Well he never tells me who the songs are about” that’s probably because he has never written one for her, I thought. “So I always have to guess, but I feel like this one is about me.” I just stayed quiet; I didn’t want to ruin the moment I wanted to listen to the song.

“Thank you guys. That one is about one of my best friends. Who will always be in my life, no matter what happens.” Carmen was oblivious that he was talking about me. He did a little girly sigh, and saying how cute he was. He looked over here, staring at me but Carmen thought he was staring at her. He looked back at the crowd and started to sing again.
“She thinks I'm crazy. Judging by the faces that she's making.

He kept staring at me and singing. I couldn’t keep my eyes off his. I knew what was going on wasn’t right. Carmen was right next to me but at that moment I didn’t care. I didn’t care if she saw that I was staring back at her boyfriend. But then that made me realize the conversation Carmen and I had the other night; John was with Carmen, he just wanted my body and that was it. Tears started to fall from my eyes and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I turned around and started to push myself through the crowd until I got to the back of the room. I looked back and watched a few more. The song came to an end.

“you guys have been an amazing crowd. Thank you. This is our last song.”

“There was a new girl in town. She had it all figured out.” His eyes found mine again and I started to feel weak, I wanted to collapse to the floor and cry. But I also wanted to scream into Johns face, what he was doing to me wasn’t right. He was with my sister, what happened 2 years ago was a mistake and he shouldn’t be playing with me. I turned around and walked out and ran to my car. I sat in there and cried. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I finally started to relax and drove home. I went straight to my room and crawled into a ball on my bed and cried.

I wanted to forget my past and be done with everyone who was in it. I wanted to start over. I wanted to be with Andy and in Michigan. I wanted someone to comfort me.