Always Something More

It was going on 3 o'clock when Gabi was dropping me off at my house. Kennedy had texted her earlier to tell me that they would pick me up for the part around 7. We gave each other a hug and I jumped out of the car and headed for my house. I thought about the party tonight and I got nervous, I don't think I was ready for a party just yet and I don't think Arizona was ready for me to be at one either. See when I made a fool of the hottest couple in Arizona; John and my sister, people heard about it, rumors were started and everyone took their side which is understandable because it was my fault, but it went to far.

I got to my house and heard Carmen talking, I thought for a second if I should check it out or not, I of course being a curious person I needed to know what was going on. I walked down and Garrett and John were standing at the counter with Carmen on the other side. They didn't notice me at first but when I got the fridge they all got quiet,like usual, and just stared at me. I took out the jug of water and looked at them.

“What?” I said.

“Jeez Rae you don’t have to be so snotty.” Carmen of course had to say something.

I just shook my head and went on with my business. They went on with their boring conversation, I went to the cabinet to get a glass and poured myself some water.

“So Rae Kennedy said you were going to the party tonight.” John said.

“Um yeah him and Gabi invited me, I guess I'm going to go.” I said unsurely and they all knew why. If this conversation wasn't any awkward, it was up to Carmen to make it even more awkward.

“Great another party for you too ruin. Joy.” she said sarcastically and a roll of her eyes. She turned back to see John and I saw Johns eyes look from mine to Carmen's. I just watched as he smiled down at her and and she leaned up to give him a small peck on his lips.

I turned around and started to walk away, but as I was turning around I saw Garrett’s eyes on me, I instantly started to blush and wanted to stare back but I knew he wouldn't allow it so I just left it.

I went up to my room to get some quiet and think about the day and how I opened up so much to Gabi. I felt like telling her that huge secret was a big step for me, I let her in and she listened and was polite about the whole situation. It felt good to tell someone else the story, and tell them the truth before they heard the rumors.

Kennedy texted me telling me that he'd pick me up around 7:15. I quickly texted back saying that was fine and I would see him in a few.

I was on my bed when I heard a knock at the door, I called out for them that they could come in. As I was sitting up it was Garrett that was at the door which shocked me.

“Hey whats up Garrett?” he walked in and got to the end of the bed and just looked at me like he wanted to talk about something.

“So you are going to the party tonight?” he asked

“Um yeah I was thinking about it. Why?”
“Its just if you go there everyone is going to attack you. I dont think you should go.”

I just stared at him with a confused looked. “What?”

“After everything that had happened everyone at the party saw what happened and they told everyone and then there were crazy rumors. And if you go tonight it'll just get worse and I just dont think you should go.”

“Why do you care? I'm a big girl I can take care of myself.” I said sternly, I got up off the bed and walked over to him.

“I'm just warning you. But your right why do I care, I stopped caring about you when you fucked John.” he said and started to walk away.

“Oh my gosh Garrett, you cant do that. You can't come into my room warn me about the party then get into this stupid argument. Get over it, what happened, happened so many years ago. Move on.”

he turned around and let out a small laugh. “It's hard to move on when you hurt me so bad. You destroyed me.”

I walked closer to him, I grabbed his hand that he pulled back from. “I'm sorry Garrett. I don't know what else to say to you or what to do that'll make you happy.”

“You could leave Arizona again.” he said softly but his eyes were anything but soft; I could see the hurt and angry in them.

I just stood there with my mouth opened a little. I was in total shock, how could he say something like that.

“Just get out of my room Garrett.” I walked to my door and opened it for him to leave. He walked past me not stopping to say sorry or anything. I slammed the door shut and fell to the ground crying. I leaned up against the door and held my head in my arms that were propped up by my knees.

I was on the ground probably for a good 10 minutes just crying and thinking about everything that had happened. Why couldn't he just get over it like John did. I was so stupid for trying so hard to get with John that I wrecked an amazing relationship.

I got up from the ground and went to take a shower. Today was just a long, emotional day. Telling Gabi about everything to talking with Garrett, it was just way to much for me to take in. I jumped into the steamy shower and tried to think about anything other than what I had do so many years ago but everything I thought about went to those thoughts. I was standing under the water and I couldn't tell if I was crying or not.

“Rae hurry up I need to get into the shower!” Carmen rudely pounded on the door and yelled out.

I didn't give her an answer instead I just shut off the water and hurried out of the bathroom. She was waiting right outside the door and noticed my red, puffy face. But Carmen being Carmen she didn't stop me and ask if I was alright, she pushed it aside and went into the bathroom.

I was determined to go to this party, if I didn't think I would be letting Garrett win and telling him that I couldn't handle anything that came at me. Of course I was scared to go to a party and see everyone who was at that last party 2 years ago. I didn't want to hear the whispers or feel the stares but I was going to be with Kennedy and Gabi.

It was going on going on 4 o'clock so I put on a simple tee shirt and sweats. And I lounged around my room. I pulled out my laptop and went on the internet. I replied to a few comments on my facebook and looked at a few fashion blogs that I followed. I was getting tired so I decided to put on a movie on my laptop and fall asleep. I didn't get that far when I heard my phone go off. I was to tired to open my eyes and look at who was calling me.

“Hello.” I said quickly

“Hey it's me. Are you okay?” Andy said from the other line.

“Oh hey. Yeah I'm fine I’m just tired.” I half lied.

“Oh did I wake you up. I'm sorry.”

“No no I wasn't asleep I was on my way but its fine. I want to talk to you. How are you?”

“I'm great now that I’m seeing you in a couple days.”

“I know that’s pretty exciting I cant wait.”

“You don't sound that excited, are you sure your okay” I loved how he cared so much.

“I'm not okay Andy.” I said as I started to cry. “I just need you now.”

“Aw Rae what happened?” he said with a concerned voice

“Everything, I messed everything up. I just can't handle it anymore.” I barely made out.

“Hey everything is fine, please stop crying, its breaking my heart that I’m not there now.”

I kept crying but there was a tiny smile on my face, the thought of having someone care for me felt good.

“Andy I just can't wait to see you.”

“Me too babe.”

I told him about my day, how I went to lunch with Gabi and told her the story. But I left out the part with Garrett and the party. I'm not sure why I did I think part of me knew that if he heard I was going to this party he would say basically what Garrett said, that I should be careful, and I honestly didn't want to hear that. We hung up about 45 minutes later and Kennedy would be here in about an hour so I need to start getting ready.

I went to my closet and pulled out a cute summer dress, Gabi mentioned that it was more of a summer barbeque and get together than anything. I got out a pair of black gladiator sandals, and an owl necklace. I left my hair,letting it do whatever and doing my make up all natural. I put on a lot of cover up to make it look like I hadn't been crying, and I think I got the job well done.

I looked at the clock and it was going on 7 so I decided to go down stairs and just wait til Kennedy came here which was pretty short after wards.

I went to the door after I heard him knock, you would think that he would just come on in since he one has his one room here and he's always here.

“Hey come on in.” I said as I swung the door open for him to come on in.

“Hey, Are you ready?”

I took a big breath and let it out “Yeah I think so.” I had to admit I was scared, I just didn't want the attention.

“Hey it'll be fine,”he said as he put his hand on my shoulder. I’ll be with you the whole night, I’m not going to let you out of my sight.” he said as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm and gave me a warm smile.

“Alright that sounds fine.”

We headed out to the car and drove just a few blocks over to Rex's house. The car ride was silent, I couldn't talk, my head was spinning with thoughts and what will happen. My nerves were getting the best of me, I couldn't help it. I tried to think about something other than this party but it was impossible. What if Garrett was right and I shouldn't be going. I saw Kennedy in the corner of my eyes look over at me, I turned my head and met him with his eyes.

“I'll be honest I'm scared.” I said slowly.

“I know, but seriously it'll be fine. Every one will get drunk and forget about everything.” he gave me smile and looked back at the road.

“Wheres Gabi? I thought she was coming with us.”

“Oh yeah um she'll meet us there.” Kennedy said weirdly.

“Is everything fine?” I was kind of concerned.

He looked over at me and gave me a fake smile, “yeah everything is good.”

I just nodded my head and let it bet. They must of gotten into a small little tiff but it would all be over once they saw each other at the party. She would see him and jump into his arms and start to kiss him, Kennedy was just one of those people that you never got mad at.

We drove by the house but there were no parking spots so we kept on driving until there was a free spot along the side of the street. I got up and walked slowly to Kennedy's side and just waited for him to get out.
I closed my eyes and let out a huge breath.

“You ready?” I opened my eyes and saw Kennedy offering his hand for me to grab a hold, which I did but I didn't start walking just yet.

“I'm not sure this is a good idea. Every ones going to judging me and I'm not ready for that.”

“Rae if I didn't think you belonged at this party then we wouldn't be here. I promise everything will be ok.” he gave me another huge smile and started to pull me along towards the house. Holding Kennedy's hand and knowing that he'll protect me felt nice.

The closer we got to the house the more butterflies I got in my stomach and the more nervous I got. But the more and more we got closer to the door and in the front foyer was when I knew exactly why I didn't want to come.