Jar of Hearts

I slowly pulled into an abandoned parking lot.

“Ryan you so fucked this up.” I said looking at my surroundings. “Ry?” I asked after no reply came from my first statement. I began to panic, why am I here, why am I alone, and where is my best friend? I swear he was there a second ago? Is this some crazy dream? I began to pinch myself in numerous places in my arm hoping to wake myself up but I was sadly experiencing this whole thing and it wasn’t just a bad dream I could wake up from.

Suddenly the door to my white Mercedes slammed shut. I froze in my seat with my knuckles gripping around the leather steering wheel tightly.

“Hey baby.” A familiar voice spoke but I could not place a name to the sound that I had just heard. “Are you scared baby? Why aren’t you saying,‘hi’ back to me? Come on Kendall, talk to be me baby.”

“Who the hell are you!?” I gritted through my teeth. I had on hand on my door ready to barrel roll out of my car to get away from the freak sitting next to me.

“Baby why are you acting like this?” The unidentified person asked.

“I will ask one more time. WHO ARE YOU!?” I said trying to get my point across.

“Baby its me.” The person said putting a hand on my knee. In a swift motion I slapped the hand and screamed.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!”

A light clicked on in car that illuminated the face to the voice that was talking to me.

“JUSTIN?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yeah baby.” He replied with a wink.

“I hate you!” I screamed while raising my hand and smacking Justin’s left cheek in a swift motion.

“What was that for bitch?” Justin asked grasping his sore cheek with a red hand outline on his cheek.

“Well, that was for being a dick to me and I made a promise to myself after you left me that I would never talk to you again and if I ever saw you I’d slap you. So I am breaking a promise right now so, get the fuck out of my car!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Justin’s carmel honey brown eyes began to glass over as he slowly cracked the door open and slipped out the side of the car.

I guess Mr. badass over there still is emotional. That makes me laugh. But Justin broke my heart, he is just another name in the hundreds that I have gave my heart and they tore it apart. I need to stop trusting boys so easily, look what happens to me. I go out every night that I can, get drunk, sleep with random guys, think that they are the one for me, fall head of heels for them, date for a week sometimes more or less depending on how much of a douche that the man is, and then he breaks up with me for not getting sex. Then the cycle is repeated, over and over again. However, my story with Justin is a little different then the others. It went a little something like this.

Justin and I were best friends since I could remember. Even our moms were friends, well until my mom was admitted into a rehabilitation center. Anyway, my story with Justin. I trusted him with everything you could imagine, I told him who I liked, I told him all the secrets that my dad had like who he was hiring on his new movie and such, and I even told him that my mom was doing drugs but we were too little to realize what the drugs really were. We thought nothing of it killing my mother, or sending her to rehab. Justin told me all of his crushes, and when we were ten, we spit swore (lets keep in mind that was a big deal back then) that we would never in a million years date each other. Well, that all changed on my fifteenth birthday. It was at my house with a large group my friends. Justin and I were sitting next to each other playing truth or dare and of course we were dared to kiss each other. That stupid little dare changed everything. The simple kiss sent fireworks through my body, his lips were soft and addicting, I wanted more, and so did Justin. We broke our spit swear the next week when we made it official that we were dating. We were the happiest couple that probably would ever walk the planet. We would hold hands constantly, Justin would leave me cute notes in my locker or would sneak out in the middle of the night to see me and say ‘goodnight beautiful.’ That was my personal favorite.

That all came to a screeching end when I went over Justin’s one night and I saw him with the new slut in school, Jenna Brown. She was everything that I wasn’t. She had blonde straight hair, she wore skin tight clothes and let her belly button rig hang out, she had blue eyes. She was as fake as they come and Justin wanted her. To be precise, Justin got her, left me in the dust.

You know I would see them walking around school, all lovey dovey and I would go home and cry to myself. I had no one to talk to because my best friend left me, my dad was never home and my mom was well who knows where she was. I hated myself, to be honest i thought about killing myself for a solid four or five months. Those first five were the hardest that Justin started to date Jenna. After those five months I taught myself how to ignore them practically hanging on each other and Jenna’s boobs hanging out of her shirt with Justin’s face shoved in between them.

That is why I hate Justin. We never even broke up so if you want to be technical, we are still dating. I just stopped talking to him. As much I want to be with Justin I can’t, I don’t want to be hurt again.

My head was resting against the steering wheel as salty tears rolled down my cheeks. I silently cried to myself as the memories came flooding back into my head and whatever I tried to do to shake the memories out, it failed miserably.