You Know Me.

After days of being flooded with new clothes, bathroom products, and a few beauty products; things changed faster than I expected. I started by styling my hair and cleaning my room. Jamie and I have been taking things slow, still hiding from the family about what was going on between the two of us. When I went to his room, or he went to mine, we mostly talked so we could get to know each other better. We would give each other simple kisses out the door, but kept contact at a minimum.

Sarah and our mother were all excited and tortured me with make-overs. At school, I tried keeping the more masculine image so people would process everything slowly. I was with Jamie a lot and when I wasn't, I was with Brody. No one ever bothered me knowing my brothers wouldn't tolerate anything that caused stress with their family members. Things at home weren't always perfect. Sometimes my brothers would worry about how I would make them look or if I was going to quit playing football.

I still played having a small passion for sports, but I did it for my brothers more often than myself. Jamie wasn't so happy about it, but I told him I enjoyed it and it didn't make me feel bad or anything. Sometimes Jamie and I would have disagreements or sometimes he wouldn't quite understand some things, but for the most, he was there making sure no one talked about me. He wasn't much of a protector but he liked the feeling of finally having a girl. I was starting to believe that everyone knew that there was more than just a sibling thing going on with Jamie and I, but he didn't want to bother to notcing.

“We know about you two. Were not stupid. We knew that since those two parties, that there was something new between you and this girl we never knew to be our sister.” Brody explained as we sat eating dinner.

“Oh, well I guess that make things easier.” Jamie replied.

“That makes what easier exactly?” Mom asked.

“Well, the whole hiding the fact that we are.. together now is finally off the table. Now we don't have to be so careful.” He explained not knowing how scetchy it made him sound to our parents.

“Well the no hiding thing is good, but I don't want to see you guys making out or sneaking into each other's bedrooms in the middle of the night to 'talk'”

“Don't worry about that mom. Still trying to be a girl remember.” I said trying to keep the subject from proceeding.

After dinner everyone was headed out to football practice, our parents being the ride, and the boys being the one's practising. Sarah tagged along since she loved seeing what her big brothers did. Jamie had always stayed home since he wasn't into the whole sports theme. I felt bad for him for being alone in such a big house while everyone else got to be a part of something he was never a part of. As we got ready to leave, mom came to my room to check up on me.

“Hey do you want to stay behind tonight? You seem kind of blue?” She asked.

“I don't know. I am feeling a little tired.” I replied hoping she would believe me so I could spend some alone time with Jamie.

“Well, The car is pretty much full and Jamie wouldn't like being here alone. I would have Sarah stay instead but you look like you deserve a little break.”

“Oh this excuse again? You just want me to be more like a women.”

“Well, not really, I don't mind you playing sports. I didn't like those concussions though. I have wanted you to take it easy ever since your first one. You worry me sometimes. When I'm gone, you and Jamie can have a little quality time too, just don't start making out or anything worse than that.”

“Mom, gross. Don't even think about that. Get out of here, the boys are probably waiting.” I said so she would finally leave.

A few minutes passed and Jamie and I were alone. He was in his room the whole time so he didn't know I was staying behind. I headed to his room opening the door finding him playing games on his i-pod.

“Aren't you going to miss your ride?” He asked watching me walk in.

“Nope. I'm feeling sick and 'need a break' moms says.”

“Oh. Well that's nice.” He replied looking back at his game.

“Okay, I guess will leave you alone then.” I said turning back to the door.

“No, don't go. I thought you were kidding.” He started getting up so I wouldn't leave. I sat next to him making small talk flirting when ever I could. We usually talked for hours, but this time, I wanted things to be a little different.

“So what did you think about everyone knowing about us?” I asked him.

“I don't know. I guess I was surprised. It's kind of stupid how I didn't notice they knew. I'm still just getting used to all of this. At the same time I was excited though. This will make things a little easier, but I don't know.”

“I understand." I pouted.

Grabbing my hand, he lifted my face so he could look into my eyes as he said, “Don't be sad. We will get stronger all the time. This whole thing between us isn't going to change. If it had any reason to change, we wouldn't be running back to each other every chance we get. No matter how I feel or think, I end up wanting you more and more.”

“You want me?” I asked.

“Yes, I want you more than you could imagine.” He whispered.

“I want you too Jamie.”

Jamie and I stared into each others eyes for a while until we finally decided to kiss. It was intoxicating like the others, but this one of course was slightly different. Every time we kiss, things are always slightly different. More feelings felt, more temptation, and more boundries feel breached. Though we didn't know much about how we felt sexually and never decided to talk about it, we seemed slightly curious.

I didn't think much of it, kind of hoping it would just happen whenever it did. I was also scared whenever we got too carried away not knowing what would happen next. Here we are, making out like we would always do. Our bodies were pressed tightly together and our breathing never slowed. Sparks still flickered inside me every time. Before my mind galloped away, I stopped and decided Jamie and I should talk.

“What do you feel when we do this?” I asked.

“Well, many things, why?” He asked looking confused.

“Well half because I don't want just one of us to feel something. The other half is how I feel like every time we do this, I want more from you.”

Jamie looked down understanding where this conversation would turn to. “I know, I feel it to.”

“Well, I didn't think much about this before. I never thought I would ever really fall in love or think about this kind of thing.”

“This is kind of awkward but okay. I have thought about this, I'm a guy so it's kind of natural. But feeling this does feel kind of sudden.”

“Well, we are already taking things pretty slow. I thought that we would.. you know.” I said rolling my eyes.

“I thought we would have sex whenever our minds just got out of control and we got lost in the moment kind of thing. Now that I think I about it, I don't really want it to happen that way. I would like it to be the right time. I want it to happen because we both want it. I want it to happen when we feel it's the right time, not just in the spur of the moment.” I continued.

“I completely get where your coming from. I want it to be right too Johanna, I do.”

“Well... do you feel like this might be the right time?” I asked as heat rose to my cheeks.

“Um, I don't know. Not really. I just feel like were being teenagers. Parents are gone, we take advantage of the situation.”

“I'm glad you said that. I'm not ready for that step quite yet.”

“You don't have to worry Johanna. Things will happen if they were meant to. They will happen as we choose. We are both in this together you know.”

“Thank you Jamie.” I smiled lying on the bed bringing him down with me so we were face to face on our sides.

We looked into each others eyes again and talked about simple little things. I got so lost in the moment, I had no idea how much time had passed. When I opened my eyes, Jamie was still in front of me with his eyes closed and mouth wide open. It was light outside of his window and the house was completely silent. I was confused at why no one had come into the room to seperate Jamie and I.

I looked at the clock which read, 9:34am. Even more odd was how silent it was. I looked at Jamie who's face looked so peaceful and rested. I wanted to wake him up but at the same time, I just wanted to sit and watch him all day. I decided to lean up to him pressing my lips on his cheeks. His eyes flickered open as his mouth closed.

“Woah. What time is it?” He yawned.

“Around 9:30. When did I fall asleep?”

“I don't remember. I must have fell asleep watching you last night.” He smiled.

“Well we should get up. I don't hear anything.” I said getting out of bed to look out the door.

Jamie followed me as he stretched his body. No one was downstairs so we checked in everyone's bedrooms but no one was there. My heart skipped with worry when Jamie called moms cell phone. It was busy. We tried dads phone but it kept ringing. We then tried Charlie's cell. The second time we called we finally got an answer. “Charlie, where are you?” I asked trying to sound angry.

“Johanna! Sorry we didn't call, there is too much going on. Were at the hospital. Sarah fainted shortly after practice was over. She didn't wake up so we took her here. She just got through the emergency room two hours ago. Were still waiting on the doctors.”

“Is she okay?” I asked with my heart racing and tears creeping their way up to my eyes.

“We don't know yet. Dad was just heading out to go pick you and Jamie up.”

“Okay, thanks Charlie. I guess we will see you soon.” I said as Jamie stared at me worridly.

I hung up the phone when he asked, “What's going on? Is it mom?”

“It's Sarah. She's in the hospital. She fainted and wouldn't wake up. Dad is on his way to pick us up.” I began to cry.

Jamie put his arms around me, his body started shaking slightly. “Sarah? She's only eight years old. How can she faint and not wake up? Do they know what happened yet?” He said trying to hold back some tears.

“No, they are still waiting for the doctors.” I cried holding onto Jamie more tightly.