My 'Cool' Grandpa

PART 6

**Tre's POV**
Yes!! I'm back home with Rosie. Fuck I hate hospitals. I don't know anyone who does like hospitals. How people work there is beyond me!

Anyway, I decided to call Billie Joe and invite him round for dinner. I'd see if Joey and Jack could come too.

The phone barely rang at all.
"Hello?"
"Hey Billie it's me."
"Well, that narrows it down. Who do I know that calls themself me?"
"Shut up chicken boy."
"WHAT?! Since when am I chicken boy?"
"Meh. I don't know. You just remind me of a chicken."
"Tre, did you call me just to irritate me or is there a reason behind the insanity?"
"Hah! You did know it was me! Anyway, I would cordially like to invite you to my residence for supper this evening, before we all set off on holiday. Your wife, children and grandchildren are also invite, nay, expected, to attend."
"Tre for the love of God give it up! You can't do a British accent!"
"You're so mean!! I'd NEVER be mean to you!"
"Tre, once you dyed my hair bubblegum pink right before a show in front of 55, 000 people."
"Well, um... Jesus, Mary and Twinkies! A butterfly!!"
"Whatever. See you later Tre."
Billie hung up.

"ROSIE! Everyone's coming for dinner!!" I yelled.

Rosie ran downstairs. "What time?"

"In about seven hours."

"Good. Let's go shopping!!"

I sighed. "All right."

We got out of the car. "Now remember Rosie, you may be a child, but I'm a grown-up, so no little kiddy stores please. OH MY GOD TOYS R US!!!!"

**Rosie's POV**
I sighed as Grandpa ran inside. So much for being a grown-up.

I walked inside the toy shop. Grandpa was grabbing everything in sight and little children were running to hide behind their parents.

Well. Apart from one child, a little boy. He was about six years old. He walked up to Grandpa and gave him a high five. Grandpa grabbed a trolley, lifted the kid in the trolley and they were off, grabbing everything they could see off the shelves.

I could see a worried looking woman hurrying after them. I ran up to her.

"Hi, I'm Rosie. I take it that's your son running round the store with my Grandpa?"

The woman looked at me and replied, "Yes. Is your grandfather dangerous?"

"No," I laughed "He just gets really hyperactive. He's always been that way. There's a tiny piece of his brain that hasn't matured yet and the doctor says if we remove it, he'll die."

"Should we go and find them?" she asked.

"Yeah, should be easy. Just follow the mayhem."

We walked around the store and eventually saw Grandpa and the little boy. Several security guards and one or two men in suits were standing by them.

I ran up to them.

"Grandpa, it's time to go now." I said.

"The security guard turned to me. "Yes. May I ask you never to return to this store?"

"Of course. I'm very sorry for all the trouble."

Grandpa muttered "Sorry" and carried on looking at his feet.

The little boy's mom grabbed his hand and hurried him out of the shop. He was babbling on about Mr Cool and all the fun they'd had until his mom gave him a look that could kill a lesser person at twenty paces.

Grandpa and I hurried out of the store. We bought the food we needed and headed home.

I started cooking the dinner when Grandpa came in. He looked very guilty.

"Grandpa," I began "What have you done?"

Grandpa looked at the floor. "I kinda, well, funny thing, I... Oh screw it. I forgot to get dessert."

"Grandpa!!!" I yelled. "That was the ONE single thing I asked you to do!!"

"I'm sorry. Can you make brownies?" Grandpa asked.

"Yes. You go out and buy the ingredients. NOW."

Grandpa scurried out. I sighed. I was going for a sleepover at Jack's tonight before we all went on holiday and I had really been hoping that I didn't have to get Grandpa a baby-sitter again. Oh well.

Anyway, later everyone got here and we were eating dinner. Adi was talking about some guy called Tim Armstrong and some other guy called John Kiffmeyer, both of whom had died recently.

Jack joined in. "Well grandma, as lovely as it is hearing you recite celebrity obituaries, would you mind if I got down from the table? Thank you for dinner Uncle Tre."

Grandpa laughed so hard at that, red wine came out of his nose.
"You think I cooked?! I can't cook TOAST! This was Rosie!"

"Yeah, I kind of thought it might be," Uncle Joey interrupted. "Hey, do you remember when Tre made Ramona a birthday cake?"

Jack and I answered simultaneously, "No, what happened?"

"Well," Joey began. "It was Ramona's eighteenth, so you guys wouldn't remember. We had a big party and Tre was in the kitchen making the cake. Suddenly all the smoke alarms went off and we were all sprayed with water. Then we heard a huge bang and Tre opened the door."

Joey was laughing really hard, so Uncle Billie stepped in.
"Tre stepped out of the kitchen and was coughing like mad. Then a massive cloud of flour and Lord knows what else erupted out of the kitchen. Everyone fell silent. After what seemed like hours, Tre said,"

Mike, Billie, Joey, Adie and Grandpa all said, "The cake exploded, but the Twinkies are OK!"

At that point, Jack and I laughed so hard, our drinks came out of our noses.

Then the grown-ups (and Grandpa) started talking about Jakob and Ellie and their toddler, blah blah blah.

I really love and care about Jakey, Ellie and Emma, but I don't want to know about Emma's sleeping, feeding and, ewww, diaper-changing arrangements. Too much information!!

Jack and I went up to my room. We played on the Play Station 5 and then we got bored and just talked.

"What's this toy monkey all about?" Jack asked. "Mike told me about it the other day and I'm confused."

I laughed and explained Mr Whirly's catastrophic incidents, ie, being squished by Grandpa, being burned slightly, being stolen by Emma after the fire died down and then dumped into Mike's trash can, all before being returned to Grandpa.

Jack was laughing really hard and I suddenly realised that I hadn't done any packing for the holiday. I started throwing things in my suitcase and panicing about whether I had enough clean clothes or not. OMG, I'm turning into my mom.

Anyway, every year, Grandpa, Uncle Billie, Aunt Adie, Uncle Mike and all their kids and grandkids go on a big holiday. It's sooo much fun! This year we're going round Europe. We start in England and Green Day are playing at the MK Bowl, just like they did 40 years ago to the day.

It's going to be their last official stadium gig before retirment and I know they're really scared. 100 000 fans all in MK Bowl (it's been expanded since 2005), but that's not what scares them.

They're scared because retiring means, as Billie put it ,
"That you're a sad, old, bald bloke with a beer belly (no offence Tre) who can't do anything because he's either eating, sleeping, pissing or complaining. I mean, old people are just like babies. They sleep for ever, piss every five minutes and shit every two and they need feeding about ten times a day. What a bright starry future!"

I laughed when I thought about it.

"What's so funny?" asked Jack.

"Billie's become the Grouch." I said to Jack and explained.

Jack laughed and said he agreed.

"Please don't tell him I said that." I begged.

"Alright, but you owe me." He said.

Great. Anyway, I'm REALLY excited because I've never seen Green Day live before. My mom wasn't keen on it and my Dad said I was too young.

Dad went to his first Green Day concert when he was 4. Hypocrite.

Jack and I started talking about how excited we were, when a thought struck me.

"Um, Jack, you know when we watch 'Bullet in a Bible' and we always get freaked out and skip the bit when your Grandpa, you know," I said.

"Oh no." Jack cried. "You don't think he'd masturbate at THIS gig do you?"

"PLEASE GOD NO!" We both yelled.

We ran downstairs and explained our fears to the adults without putting it bluntly.

Billie grinned. "Hey, that's a GREAT idea!!"

Jack and I groaned.

Then, the doorbell rang.

I went and opened the door.