Killing Me Slowly

We all grow up on a journey to find ourselves. As we get older, we gather piece by piece on who we all are…who we want to become…. We have people help us along the way…they influence us to become the people who they think we should be…who they want us to be…but if we have our heads on right, we’ll become who we’re meant to be. Or…well…that’s how it’s supposed to happen. You’re not supposed to be zapped by some angel into your dream world and find pieces of yourself with a chance of not waking up…that’s what happened to me and Sam, though. Yea, you can assume that we made it out okay…but you shouldn’t always assume that everything will be okay…because most likely that’s when it ends badly. So, I guess you could say this is how I found out about what happened to Sam and I when we were soulless…when we were in Hell…while we were on our journey to find ourselves…our missing pieces.

~~~~~

I was racing down the sidewalk with the sound of sirens in the air and it was pitch black out. I rounded a corner and ran down an alley, up and over a fence, landing on my feet on the other side. I stopped in my tracks, looking back up at the eight foot high fence, incredulous by the fact that I was even able to do that. I heard the sirens getting close again and kept going. I snuck in a back door of a bar.

“Umm we’re a closed” the voice of a bar tender said.

“I’m sorry, just…just give me a minute” I stammered as I ran to the window to see the cops drive right by.

“Look, Short Stuff, I really cant afford this kind of trouble in my bar, please just leave” he said.

I did a double take at him and the way he called me, Short Stuff made me look at him weirdly. I walked over to him and I saw he was decently cute…but I had to focus.

“Please, I just…I just need a second to think”

He analyzed me. “Okay…what’s your name?”

“I…I don’t know”

This time, he looked at me weirdly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…I don’t know. I don’t remember” I told him.

He introduced himself as Shane and got out two beers for us as I sat down on a stool and we started drinking together. “Come on, you’re messing with me…you don’t remember anything?”

“I’m telling you my mind’s blank. Clean slate”

“No wallet ID?”

“I wish”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Cops shining a flashlight in my face while I was laying on a bench. They were trying to take me in”

“So you ran?” he smiled a little, kind of amused.

“No…I knocked them out cold. Both of them. I didn't mean to, it was just all happening really fast and you know, instinct or something, I guess”

“Some instinct”

“Yea, tell me about it…it felt like I just knew what I was doing…like someone taught me how to do it maybe…who even knows how to do something like that?”

“I gotta say, it’s kind of hot” he chuckled. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “No, but seriously, you really need a doctor” he said with a sincere tone.

“I don’t have time” I sighed as I stood up and paced a little.

“Don’t have time for what?”

“Look, it’s kind of hard to explain but I just feel like I need to be somewhere…like there’s something I have to stop…"

“Like a wedding? Or a plane?”

“No something more important…like life or death?”

“Okay, okay. Well just calm down. You cant poop it out. It’ll come to you”

But, then something caught my eye amongst the book shelves. I walked over to the books and pulled one out and read the cover. The Haunter of the Dark by H.P. Lovecraft.

“What is it?” he asked as he walked around the bar to walk over to me. I showed him the book. “Horror fan?” he questioned.

“I think so…I seriously think so…something about this book that I…” I started but then I got a sharp pain in my head. Like a bunch of pressure was being put on my brain.

I could see these other faces and I was in this homey living room but I couldn’t recognize the faces. “Who’s this Phillips guy?” a voice asked. “It’s Lovecraft” an older voice said. Then I saw a motel name and it said Nite Owl.

“Hey, hey, hey, you okay?” Shane asked as he was at my side.

I had my hands on the table, trying to keep myself up from falling and he was helping me straighten my posture. I nodded. “Seriously, we’re taking you to a doctor”

“Do you have a computer?”

~~

“That’s it. It really exists. Just two towns over” I said, finding this Nite Owl motel online.

“You staying in this dump? Maybe you're a hooker” he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

I laughed. “Yea, maybe. I guess we'll find out. Look, I don’t know what to say. Thanks for everything” I told him as I stood up and headed for the door but he stopped me.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’ll be fine”

“Yea, okay. Says the head case who slumped over a minute ago. Anyway, can I convince you to go to a hospital?”

“No. apparently I’m stubborn” I shrugged.

“Well, so am I. Lets go, I’m driving”

“Look, that’s really nice of you and all…”

“You’re eggs are scrambled” he reminded me.

“But…”

“But nothing”

“But I’m just some chick, I could be anybody, you gotta be crazy"

“I’ve been told…look if I just let you go off alone, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at night…plus I’m just dying to see how this all turns out” he grinned.

So we headed out and started walking down the sidewalk and we came to the motel. “So where do we start?” he asked.

“Ground floor, corner room, nearest to fire escape. That’s the one I’d pick, quickest getaway”

"And why do you know that?”

“Just do” I replied slowly and shrugged.

So we headed on in and I led the way to the room that I felt was the right one…but when we rounded the corner, I ran into someone. “Oh I’m so sorry…” I started but stopped when I looked at the face of the person I bumped into.

I had to look up a long ways just to meet his eyes but boy, were they beautiful eyes…and very recognizable…. We kind of just stood there, staring at each other for a long moment.

“It’s alright…” he said, slowly, eyeing me weirdly yet at the same time looking at me in awe.

“Shane!” a girl’s voice said, excitedly. I saw the beautiful man in front of me had a girl standing beside him and apparently she knew Shane because they were hugging instantly.

“Hey, Robin, what are you doing here?” he asked her.

“It’s kind of a long story…” she answered, glancing at the giant stranger in front of me.

“Yea…same here…”

I noticed the tall one didn’t stop looking at me. “I’m sorry…do I know you?” he asked me.

“Umm I don’t think so…but I want to say that you do…ya know?”

“Yea…” he said, slowly. “Is this your room?” he gestured to it.

“Umm I’m not too sure, really” I laughed a little, scratching the back of my head. “Do you know your name?” he asked me, skeptically.

“Umm no…” I made a face at him.

“Neither do I!” he pointed to himself.

“Do you know if you two are like together or something?” Robin asked.

We looked at each other and I felt my face get a little red. “I don’t know…”

“Guess we’ll find out…” he added.

“Do one of you have a credit card?” I asked.

“We checking in?” Robin asked as she pulled one out.

“No” I said and took it from her and handed it to tall, dark and handsome. He slid it in the crack of the door and he unlocked it. “Who are you guys?” she wondered aloud. We all walked in slowly and looked around.

There were newspaper clippings posted all over the walls and the room was a mess. “This all yours?” Shane asked.

“I guess…” the tall, beautiful man and I voiced.

“Well I love what you guys have done to the place…it's very Beautiful Mind meets Seven…” We both looked at her. “Sorry, I talk when I’m nervous”

Then, she picked up some ID’s. "I guess we know your names. It’s nice to meet you Jimmy Page and Emily Robison…and Neil Peart and Lisa Origliasso…and Angus Young and Natalie Marines. Okay no offence but I’m really starting to freak out”

“You and me both” he replied.

But, then I saw the face of a blond woman on a missing person’s clipping. “Does she look familiar to you?” I asked and we both just stared at her.

But, then I felt that weird pressure feeling again on my head. I think I was having some kind of flashback…I saw myself, the beautiful man, the older man that I saw before and two other people a few years older than us. She was a beautiful woman who had this look on her face that looked distracted and hard core at the same time and another hot guy that seemed concerned for the girl but he tried not to show it openly too much.

“Okay, so where is she?” he asked. “She said to meet her here. I’ll try her again” the older man said and tried using his phone.

But when he did, another phone started ringing and it was close by. We all ran down the alley and found the woman sitting against the wall, behind a dumpster, he rushed to her side.

“Elle”

“Hey, guess I could’ve used you’re help after all” she breathed out.

“Stay still”

“What happened?” I asked, gently.

“They took me” she said and opened her coat to show us the blood coming through her shirt. “Oh Elli, what’d they done to ya?” the older man asked.

“Everything. The demon I could’ve handled. But when the angel stepped in…I told them Bobby. They have enough to crack purgatory right open”

“Tell me, I need to know” “Virgin blood. It’s a milk run for them. They need the blood of a purgatory native. They got plenty of that now” “Have they opened it yet?” the hot guy asked.

“Tomorrow. During the eclipse. I’m sorry, Bobby”

“It’s okay, it’s okay…tell us where thy are…Elle”

But she was unresponsive. She was dead. Bobby sighed and ran a hand over her face to shut her eyelids. Then, we all spun as another man showed up behind us. He was wearing a trench coat.

“I’m sorry this had to happen…Crowley got carried away”

“Yea it was all Crowley you son of a bitch” Bobby spat and tried to get at him but the guys held him back.

“You don’t even see it do you…how totally off the rails you are” the hot guy pointed out.

“Enough. I don’t care what you think, l tried to make you understand you wont listen so let me make this simple. Go home and let me stop Raphael. I wont ask again”

“Well, good because I think you already know the answer” the woman answered.

“I wish it hadn’t come to this. Rest assure when this is all over, I will save Sam and Brittney…but only if you stand down”

“Save Sam and Brittney from what?” the hot guy demanded as we all froze.

The trench coat guy vanished from his spot and ended up behind me and the tall beautiful man and he placed two hands on my head and his head…and that was it.

We explained to Robin and Shane that our names were Sam and Brittney and that we were with these two guys and this other girl. We told them one guy and the girl were both like of the model type and the other one was an older guy named Bobby. We found a little book that told us an address to where Bobby lived, so that’s where we were heading next. Luckily we found a set of keys.

“That’s mine” Sam smiled as we headed out to the parking lot and we walked over to a 67 Chevy Impala. “You sure?” Robin asked.

“Oh yea”

“Guys, I don’t feel too right about you going off like this” Shane said. “Don’t worry about us. You’ve both done enough for us already” I said.

“That’s not what I mean…I just have this bad feeling”

“Seriously. Those ID’s and the shady ass motel room…whatever your both looking for, you might not like what you find” Robin added.

Sam and I looked at each other. “What other choice do we have” we both said.

But, then it was as if everything was going in slow motion and as Robin and Shane were still trying to convince us to not go…I heard a gun cock…and I heard some sudden movements. Then, at the same time, Sam and I dove into Robin and Shane to get them down right as shots went off. They just missed us.

“What the hell was that?!” Robin shouted.

“Stay down” Sam ordered as he and I both got to our feet.

We looked around and then looked up…and we saw ourselves. They were smirking and aiming guns at us…I felt my heart start to accelerate a little.

“Brittney…Brit…” I heard Shane calling my name but for some reason I knew it wasn’t Shane.

“Are you seeing that?” Sam asked me. “Yea…we have to get out of here, Sam” I said, grabbing his arm. “Yea, come on” he said.

My POV

We had Sam and Brit on two beds in the panic room in Bobby’s basement, side by side. “Come on, Brit. Wake up” I whispered.

I couldn’t just sit still though. I shot to my feet and started pacing as I put my hands on my hips and Dean stayed sitting in his chair at Sam’s head, trying to talk him out of it. Nothing was happening though. Then, Bobby walked in.

“Anything?”

"We cant just sit here, Bobby. We have to help them!” I stressed, putting a hand to my forehead.

“Mel…”

“Dreamscape their noggins, something!” Dean added.

“You both know what Cas did. The dam inside your brother and sisters heads are gone. All hell is spilling loose and we don’t know what’s going on”

“I don’t care. We have got to do something”

“And we will, but we got 16 hours until they pop purgatory. I’m down one man and one girl. I cant afford to be down two”

“Yea, well we got no light on Crowley, no light on Cas, Balthazar is MIA and all we got is Sam and Brit going through whatever the hell this is” I listed.

I was feeling defeated…like we couldn’t do anything at all…like we lost already…because we pretty much did. Bobby poured a glass of whiskey.

“This is exactly what Cas wants, for you two to fall to pieces. Try to think of what Sam and Brit would want”

I started my pacing again. “Find Cas, Bobby. Find him now” Dean demanded.

“Okay, just stop your double teaming on me. It’s not exactly fair”

I just sighed and looked over at Brit and Sam. I couldn’t lose them too….

Brittney’s POV

I was in the passenger seat as Sam was in the driver’s seat and Robin and Shane were in the back. “You smell whiskey?” Sam asked. “Yea…I do” I said.

“Would you two focus?” Shane asked.

“Sorry…”

“Who shot at us?” Robin asked, still shaken up.

“I didn’t get good look” Sam lied. “Look, if we could just get to our friends place, then they can help…” I said.

“You don’t know if they’re your friends, Brittney. You both don’t know anything about anything” Shane said. “Turn around, Sam” Robin tried. “No, you two are safer with us” he argued.

“You’re scaring me, Sam” But, he didn’t respond.

All of a sudden…we were blinded by a light and Sam slammed on the brakes.

“What the hell?” I muttered as we all got out. “No way” Sam muttered as well.

“What was that?” Robin asked. “It’s daylight?” we both pointed out. “Yea…” Shane said. “It was night and now its day” Sam said. “It was always day” Robin said. “No, no, no, it really wasn’t” I argued.

“Okay now I am all filled up on crazy for today” Robin said. “Come on, I’ll get you home” Shane said and they went to walk off.

But I got that slow motion feeling again and I heard some movement and my eyes met Sam’s…it was happening to him too. “Wait…just hold on” I said and they stopped to face us. “Get in the car” Sam added and used his eyes to gesture to the woods. That’s all he needed to do to get them back in the car.

Then, Sam and I walked to the back and opened the trunk. We found stakes and a bunch of different kinds of guns and some other stuff. We both took a gun and then I picked up a shotgun, cocked it with one hand and handed it to him to see he had this impressed look on his face.

“You can wait here, too if you want” he said to me.

“I don’t think so. Lets go” I said, smugly and we headed into the woods.

We both walked cautiously around every tree…looking for ourselves I guess. But, then a gun was pressed against my neck and I froze in my spot. Sam spun quickly but then we were both knocked to the side as the shot gun was pulled out of his hands. We spun and came face to face with ourselves…they looked like us in every way possible. Except…their eyes…they were emotionless.

“My god, are we really that cocky?” Sam’s other self questioned. “This is impossible” Sam said, breathless.

“Cold. Try again” my other self said, smugly. “We’re hallucinating?” I wondered.

“Warmer. But see normally you're awake when you're tripping balls” Sam’s self said. “We’re dreaming?” we both questioned.

“And someone just won a copy of the home game”

“We’re inside your grape fruits, kiddies. You’ve been juiced” my self said and we started to circle each other. “We don’t remember anything” Sam said.

“And how are we sharing the same dream?” I asked.

“Well, it’s an interesting thing, what your BFF, Cas did. Too complicated for your little minds. All you gotta know is that he brought the Hell wall tumbling down and the pathetic infants that you both are shattered into pieces…piece, piece…” Sam’s self pointed to Sam, then himself. “Piece…piece” he pointed to me then my self.

I looked at Sam. “We have no idea what you’re talking about” I said.

“You’re both jell-o, girlie. Unlike us” my self said.

“And what are you?”

“We’re not handicapped. We’re not saddled with a soul. In fact, we used to kip in your meat boats for a while and it was all smooth sailing. We were sharp…strong…until they crammed your souls back in”

My eyes widened slightly. So they weren’t just our other selves…they were our soulless selves.

“Now you’re the same misty eyed self you both always were. Souls are weak. They’re liabilities. Now…nothing personal. But run the numbers. Someone’s gotta take charge around here before it’s too late” Sam’s soulless self finished and they both pointed their guns at us.

Sam grabbed my arm to pull me away and we raced down the hill, zigzagging along the way as they shot at us. We jumped behind a tree and ducked down. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” they both sang.

Sam took off his jacket and folded it up in our spot and then we took off in a direction. We hid behind another tree as we watched them both head to the spot where we left his jacket. We started to sneak up behind them. Soulless Sam shot a few times at the jacket and soulless me was about to turn to look around but I punched her in the face, pulled her gun out of her hand and then I simply shot her…just like that. And right after that, Sam shot his soulless self right away. They both fell to the ground, bleeding from the holes that we put in them.

“You think we’re bad?” she questioned. “Wait until you meet the other ones” he added and then they were dead.