Killing Me Slowly

Dean and I started to get ready to head out…but then he stopped me from packing. “Maybe you should stay too” he suggested with a hushed voice.

I gave him a look and crossed my arms. “I know Bobby can hold down the house but if they start having some kind of episode, there are two of them and one of him. He might need help…”

“But, Dean, if this is a Leviathan thing, which I have a bad feeling that it is, what if you need help…I don’t like the idea of you being out there alone”

“I know but right now Sam and Brit need us more and if I cant be here, I’d rather you be…just stay for a few hours and if everything seems okay with them then come on the case with me” he compermised.

“Fine” I agreed.

“Thank you” he kissed my forehead. I grabbed his hands.

“Be careful, alright?” I requested.

“Always am”

“Mmmhmm” Then, he kissed my lips as he cupped my cheek and slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out.

I sighed and rubbed my face. Then, I walked out to the others. “You got room in this house for one more partier?” I asked.

Bobby just chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head. I offered a smile and started doing the dishes, he had the sink, for him. “Well, at least you’re useful” he said.

“You know I can be, Bobby” I replied.

After a bit, I headed up to the room to just have some time to myself and maybe read a little. It’s been a while since I had some time to myself. Then, there was a knock at the door. “Come in” I called and when the door opened, there stood Sam at the entrence. “Hey, Sammy…everything okay?” I asked, closing my book as I sat up, giving him my full attention.

He hesitated as he shut the door. “Not really” I moved back on the bed and patted the spot in front of me so he would sit and he did. “It’s hard, Mel…how to tell what’s real from what’s not…and I’m afraid it’s going to drive me and Brit so insane that we lose it completely”

“Sam…you’re here. You’re alive. I’m here, in front of you right now, I’m real” I said, taking his hand.

“Ya know…I could be with and hold Brittney and love her all I want…but she’s in the same boat I am and she sees everything I do so I don’t even know if what we have is real…” he looked down.

I gave him a sad look. Then, he looked back up at me and I noticed he started to lean in toward me as he went to cup my cheek. “Sam…what are you doing…” I murmured and slowly went to back away.

“I just…need to see…” was all he said.

Then, his lips collided with mine. It was a simple kiss, really. Nothing too crazy. But, then he started to lean more into me and intensified the kiss…and I let him. But, after a few more seconds, I finally put a hand on his chest to push him away slightly before things got too much. And when we pulled away…I felt myself shaking…and it wasn’t from the sweet kiss that Sam just gave me. It was from the fact that I just kissed my boyfriend’s brother.

“Did that help you any?” I asked, trying not to sound angry or nervous.

“I’m not sure…”

“Why did you do it?” I asked, our faces still inches apart.

“Because…when Dean was in Hell and you and I hooked up…there was a moment for me that…it felt real…that you and I felt real so I thought maybe if I came back to you it would help”

I felt myself shaking even more.

“Mel…are you okay?”

“No, Sam, I’m not okay!” I shot off the bed. “I just let my boyfriends brother, who is also my best friends boyfriend…kiss me! I know you’re going through some shit right now but you can’t just waltz up here and be doing stuff like that because whether you believe me or not, I am real, this is real and Dean is going to be real when his fist collides with your face and when he breaks up with me for this if he finds out!” I started to pace.

I noticed he was staring into space…but I figured he was probably seeing Lucifer again. “Look at me” I said, grabbing his face into my hands. “He isn’t real, okay? He isn’t there” I said but it just didn’t seem to be getting through to him. I sighed.

“Everything okay in here?” Bobby asked as he came in cautiously.

“Yea…I umm…I think I’m going to go help Dean with the case. I can’t just sit here anymore” I said, walking out, passed him.

“Melissa…are you alright?” Bobby asked as they followed.

“Ya know, you’re really asking that question a lot lately, Bobby”

“I’m worried about you, girl” he said, grabbing my shoulder to make me turn and face him.

“And I wont let you walk out this door if I know you’re going to go and do something stupid”

I just stared at him for a moment…but then Brit came walking up the stairs to see what was going on and I stared at her for a second and then what happened with me and Sam replayed in my head.

“I’m fine, Bobby, really…I’m just worried about Dean, that’s all. I’m going to go see if he needs help” I said, offering a smile. So, then I headed out.

I drove for a few miles before I finally answered my phone that has been ringing nonstop for the passed fifteen minutes. “Hello?”

“Finally! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you…” Dean’s voice came through.

“Well, you know how I don’t like to talk on the phone while I’m driving” I said, sarcastically.

“Yea, right…when I called Bobby’s to check in, they said you hit the road to head my way…but they said the way you left was abrupt and sudden. Everything okay?”

“Yea…everything’s fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. Sam and Brit are fine. They’re seeing friggin Lucifer and replaying Hell in their minds wherever they walk but they’re fine. Oh and Cas is fine too seeing as we couldn’t save him and he’s dead” I ranted a little.

“Mel…” he started lightly.

“I really just needed to get out of the house and go for a drive”

“Your kind of drive or a normal persons kind of drive?”

“Ha ha very funny…I’m not speeding…” I started to think though. “But, I think I might turn around…I have a weird feeling in my stomach…and you’re right, Sam and Brit need us right now…” I said and did a quick u-turn.

“That’s my girl…I’ll be back in a few hours”

“Okay…what happened over there anyway?”

“Well there definitely some black ick stuff around the place. Same stuff that came out of Cas…and two of the swim kids are missing. I’m planning on tracking them from Bobby’s, so I’ll just see you there”

“Okay…and Dean…you know I love you, right?” I murmured.

There was a pause, as if he was thinking about my words. “I love you too, Mel…” he said sincerely. “I’ll see you soon” he added and the line went dead.

Sam’s POV

Brit and I were sitting in Bobby’s living room, timing each other to see how fast we can take apart and put together our guns. Bobby had to leave because he got an emergency call from a friend of his, sheriff Mills, so we were alone…which made me nervous. I was also distracted. I watched her carefully and I could see how stressed she looked…but I saw passed it and saw how beautiful she was. And it made me feel guilty about how I felt the need to kiss Mel to see if it would help me feel reality. Then, the guilt turned to anger and disbelief. I couldn’t believe I had done that to Brittney…to my brother. And to Melissa. I couldn’t take this anymore. I needed it all to stop.

I reached out to grab Brittney’s hand before she start again. She froze and looked up at me. How could I believe that she wasn’t real? How could I have doubted everything we were? How could I have doubted our love? Because the way she’s staring at me right now…it’s really making me want to beat the shit out of myself. She was just smiling. Then, she cupped my cheek and kissed me, sweetly. And right then…I had to believe this was reality…because of the difference I felt between kissing Mel and kissing Brittney. Kissing Mel was nice but it isn’t like kissing Brittney. It’s just unexplainable.

Then, we heard noise coming from outside. We both stood to our feet as I had a can of beer in my hand and we started to walk slowly toward the front door. But, then Dean and Mel came walking in. “Dean…Mel…” I said, shocked.

“Hey. Oh, yeah. Good thinking” Dean said, taking the can from me.

“So I followed those swim kid Levia-whatever…” he started.

“To where?"

“Here. Well, back to town, and that ain’t the good news”

“What?”

“It ain’t just two of them, we don’t think” Mel said.

“Did you call Bobby?” Brit asked.

“Yeah, he’s working his own case, we gotta move and we need back-up and that means you two” Dean said. “Wait. You sure about that?” Brit asked.

“We know, you’re both bonkers. But, luckily we just need you to keep the engine running and wait by the back door. Just don’t let Satan change our presets. Let’s go” Mel said and they both walked out. Brit and I exchanged a look and then just grabbed our guns and followed.

My POV

I finally got back to Bobby’s house and headed on inside…but the lights were off…and no one else was around. “Sam? Brit?” I called out. “Bobby?” I added. No answer. “Damn it!” I cursed and raced out the door.

I got in the truck and called Dean. “Dean, Sam and Brittney aren’t here! I don’t know where they are!” I claimed and tried not to lose my mind. “What do you mean?” he yelled.

“Exactly what I said!” I yelled back.

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll come get you and we’ll go find them”

“No, don’t come to Bobby’s. I’ll send you the coordinates to the place Sam’s GPS signal is giving me and just meet me there…”

“Mel, I’m not comfortable with you going there alone, they’re unstable right now…”

“Dean, this is not debatable!” I yelled and hung up. I quickly got the coordinates and sent them to him and then I sped out of the salvage yard.

Brittney’s POV

We all got out and stared up at the office building we were in front of and we saw five guys inside. “Oh, damn it. There’s five of ‘em. All right, come on” Dean said and we started walking.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “Yeah, and listen, when we get in there, you guys gotta keep it together” Mel said.

“Yeah, yeah, we will…” I said.

“‘Cause if you’re seeing Lucifer, then you could be seeing all kinds of crap, okay? You just don’t know”

“How is this helping?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“I’m just saying, Brit, you’re both out of control” How can she be saying this to us?

“We’re dealing with it the best we can” Sam voiced.

“Dealing? Sorry, that’s just funny, I mean how can you deal? You think this is an office building, right?” Dean asked as he held the door open and we all walked in.

But when we did…it wasn’t an office building anymore, it was an abandoned factory. “Sorry. Wrong” Mel fake-pouted. “Where the hell are we?” Sam demanded.

“Oh, you think I’m Dean! And she’s Melissa! Right” Dean said, smiling. But, then they both morphed together into one body and he was Lucifer.

“You poor clueless sons of bitches”

“Stay the hell away from us!” I yelled and we turned to rush away.

“Your world is whatever I want it to be, understand?”

But, then Sam turned and started to shoot. “Leave us alone!”

But he was gone. I turned again and he was right in my face. Sam pulled me back. “Now we’re getting there. The two Pinnochios are seeing their strings”

“Shut up” I said.

“It’s the big crescendo”

“I said shut up!” I whipped out my own gun and started shooting myself.

But he disappeared again and appeared behind us. “Want to point that gun at someone useful? Try your face…or each other’s faces, whatever works for you two” he started to walk closer to us. I felt my head whirling around. Like I couldn’t tell up from down anymore.

“Want to know the truth? Want to skip to the last page of the book? You know where to aim” he aimed his fingers up at his jaw.

~

Maybe it would be easier. To just end it all. Right here and now. Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever considered the fact that maybe things would be easier to end everything instead of facing what was right in front of you…facing reality? To just let go. Because the process to heal hurts too much…and maybe you ran out of band aids to fix your heart. What stops you though? Is it the fact that you’re scared of what comes next? Is it a certain someone that you think of that keeps you here…keeps you going? Or is it just that you want to show everyone you have the strength to keep fighting? You aren’t weak. You have it in you to show everyone what you’re capable of. Don’t lose your strength. Don’t be afraid. Because it’s those weaknesses that people find to bring you down. It’s those cheap shot openings that are taken advantage of. Don’t let them get to you though. Because everyone has a purpose here and when you’re done serving you’re purpose…that will be your time to leave. Not when things get too hard.

~~

The door swung open behind us and in walked Melissa…. “Hey, look. Another me” Lucifer voiced…but I saw he was morphed into Melissa…but maybe that was the real Melissa…I wasn’t sure anymore.

“Brit…Sam? What are you guys doing here?” she asked, cautiously.

I pointed my gun at her quickly and saw Sam did the same as she stopped walking right away, putting her hands up.

My POV

Sam and Brit pointed their guns up at me so I stopped walking, really not in the mood to get shot tonight. “Hey, hey!” I yelled. “We were with you, Mel. You and Dean” Brit said as I saw tears filled her eyes.

“Okay, well here I am…” I spoke gently.

“No. No, I don’t, I…I don’t know that for sure” I said and she was looking back and forth between me and something…or someone…else.

“Okay…now we’re gonna have to start small” “I don’t remember driving here” Sam murmured.

But, then after a moment, he shot back at the air. I jumped. “Sam this discussion does not require a weapons discharge!” I yelled. He was breathing deeply but lowered his gun.

Then, I noticed Dean had rushed in behind me as soon as the gun was fired and I saw he was relieved when he saw me. “She’s right, Sam. Look at me. Come on. You both don’t know what’s real? Look guys, I’ve been to Hell. Okay, I know I thing or two about torture. Enough to know that it feels different. Than the pain of this, this regular, stupid, crappy this” he started as he walked forward.

“No, no, how can you know that for sure?”

“Let me see your hand and your arm” he said to them. They lifted up their hand and arm.

“No, no. The gimp hand and arm! Let me see them” He grabbed a hold of their bandaged spots. “Hey. This is real. Not a year ago, not in Hell, now. We were with you when you cut them, she sewed it up! Look!” he started to squeeze them.

They cringed. “This is different. Right? Then the crap that’s tearing at your walnut? I’m different. Right?” he asked.

“Yeah, think so” Sam replied and they both pulled away.

I eyed them both as they were still staring into space…but now they were pressing into their own stitches…so hard that they were bleeding. I didn’t say anything though.

“Hey. I am your flesh-and-blood brother, okay? And she is your sister from another whatever. We are the only ones who can legitimately kick your asses in real time. You both got away. We got you out, guys. Believe in that! Believe us, okay? You gotta believe us. You gotta make it stone number one and build on it. You understand?” Dean continued, staring into their eyes.

I saw they both relaxed and nodded. “Yea…okay” they said. Then, Bobby called Sam. He said there was a Leviathan here. At the hospital actually. Bobby went head to head with it but got away and wanted us to regroup at the house. But, when we got there…the whole house was burnt to a crisp.

“No” I whispered as we all got out of the Impala and the truck and just stared at what was left…which wasn’t much. Then, we went looking around.

“Any sign of him?” Sam asked as we walked through the workshop.

“That place was torched. Somebody knew what they were doing” Dean said. “You think Bobby was back there?” Brit asked. “I don’t know” I murmured.

Sam and Brit went in a direction while Dean and I went in another. I saw how stressed Dean was as he ran a hand over his face. I knew I was going to have to take control of the situation sooner or later. I had to bring him back and get him to focus. I made him look at me.

“Listen, you know how Bobby is, he’s probably in some bomb shelter he made himself during some weekend he had off or something. He’ll be fine, okay? I promise. And when we find him, we’ll get out of here and figure out our next move” I said to him.

All he did was nod as I saw tears were in his eyes so I saw my little speech wasn’t really helping. So, I took out my cell phone and hit speed dial #2, dialing Bobby. It went right to voicemail.

“You cannot and will not be in a crater back there, do you understand me? If you’re gone, I swear Dean and I are going to strap our Beautiful Mind brother and sister into the car and drive us off the pier. You asked how we were doing? Well, we aren’t good! Now you said you would be here so where are you!” I hissed and hung up.

I looked back up at Dean and put his face into my hands. “It’s going to be fine…come on” I said and we just kept pushing on, calling out for Bobby.

But, then I heard a voice that didn’t sound too friendly and I raced toward it as Dean followed. We saw a man standing there, facing Sam and Brit in a threatening manner. So, Dean tossed me a shot gun and I shot him in the side of the face. Black goo shot off his face but when he looked over at me, his face transformed into this thing that I’ve never seen before and transformed back into human. Then, he stalked toward me and went to grab my by the neck but Dean flew into him and they started to fight. But the Leviathan threw Dean into a car and he fell to the ground. Then, Sam ran forward and started punching him in the face but then the Leviathan grabbed a pipe and hit him in the head with it, flying him back. So, then Brit ran at him and that’s what made me move my legs. Just seeing her move toward that monster that could kill her instantly. I felt like I was so far away….

“Dean, now!” she yelled.

I saw he grabbed a control panel that was controlling a claw that was holding a car up in the air right above the two of them. He was hesitating though because if he made it drop, it would’ve crushed her too. But, then I heard a snap and saw the Leviathan broke her arm so she yelped out in pain.

“Dean, now!” she still screamed.

So, he forced himself to press the button and the car started to drop. But right as it was about to fall on both of them, I ran into Brit and we both went rolling to the side as the car crushed the Leviathan and black liquid started to seep out from under the car. I looked at Brit.

“Are you alright?” I grabbed her hand.

“Just a broken arm and possibly a sprained ankle” she tried to shrug. “Okay…okay, I got you” I said and stood to my feet.

I got her to her feet and put her good arm over my shoulders as I helped her limp over to the guys where Sam was unconscious and Dean was pulling himself over to his brother to the best of his ability.

“Sammy? Hey, come on now. Come on, I’m the one with the broken leg, you got to carry me. Sam!” he yelled, grabbing a hold of his shirt. But Sam was unresponsive.

I let go of Brit as she went down onto her knees and leaned onto Sam for some support. I went to Dean and put his head on my lap. “You can’t get us all out of here on your own, Mel…”

“The hell I can’t. Everything is going to be just fine, I promised you that…just…just give me a second” I said as I grabbed his hand and put it to my lips.

What were we going to do? We couldn’t just call Cas anymore to just come down and help us…Bobby was now MIA…. I took out my cell phone and dialed 911. There was no time to waste and they all needed help ASAP.

Two ambulances got to us and one took Sam and Dean in stretchers as another took Brit in a stretcher and I rode in the back with her and two other paramedics. On the ride there, though, while they were hooking her up and working on her, I noticed she started to fall asleep and her heart rate started to lose tempo.

“Brit…Brit, you have to stay with me…” I cried.

“Maim, we said you can come because we weren’t just going to leave you back there with possible injuries yourself but you need to stay out of the way” one of the paramedics said, but it really went in one ear and out the other.

“Female, late twenties, broken arm, sprained ankle, head trauma. Signs of increasing intercranial pressure…”

Then, her eyes shut and her head fell to the side. “Brittney!” I yelled.

“Yeah, he’s seizing. Copy that. We’re just pulling into Sioux Falls” the other paramedic said.

“Sioux Falls? Sioux Falls General? No, no, no, you got to take us somewhere else, anywhere. Please” I begged.

“Yeah, okay”

“God, damn it” I grunted.

Then, I jumped toward the driver, reached forward, grabbed the stearing wheel and started to spin it as I faught with the driver for dominance but the ambulance was already swerving out of control. Then, I started to feel it tip so I shot back and covered Brit’s body with my own and felt it crash to the pavement. I had to think that i had all of this under control and had to just pray that the boys were going to be okay…but who exactly was I praying to?