Killing Me Slowly

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Where do you think we go when we die? Will we actually get the privilege to go to Heaven or the burden and go to Hell? Or maybe we just stay here, on Earth, and rot in the ground. I guess it really depends on what you believe in. If you really believe in all that religious crap…I wish I didn’t…but after what I’ve been through…and after what I’ve seen…I guess I have no choice but to believe it. And you would think that it would be the believers who would get their first pick as to where they want to end up…but it doesn’t work like that. It’s about what you do with your life that counts and ya know what? I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job with my life, I save lives for crying out loud. But no. Still, it doesn’t work that way. I’m a special case. I’m sure all of you will get to where you want to be…or where you should be (no judgment here)…but me? I’m stuck…and you’ll never guess where….

~~~~~

“All right. Exit's in 3 miles" Brit spoke from the back seat, holding a map.

"I still say this is a bad idea" Dean said for the hundredth time.

"Dean, it was your idea, and it was the best one any of us had" Sam said.

"I said it as a joke"

"Well apparently it was a bad joke but a good idea" I said smugly. I was in a bad mood. It was just one of those days....

"Yeah and only because we got no magic spell, no book, nothing on how to find a freakin' righteous bone"

"We can call Castiel again" Sam said. I cringed.

"Hell. No" I said sternly.

"Dude, on my car, he showed up naked...covered in bees" Dean grimaced. "Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that" Brit said.

“Look, if you stop your crying I can try to do a spell and find the damn thing, okay” I snapped at him.

“I’m not comfortable with that either. You know that the more stronger you get, the more Dick will want you”

“Well then stop friggin complaining already”

“Well what’s up your ass?”

“Nothing…just tired” I muttered and he left it at that.

My mind was on Bobby. I was worried he was seriously going to try something incredibly stupid. I had to try and keep my head in the game though. We got to the crypt and began to look around. “Alright. Sister Mary Benedict, uh, taught the learning-impaired and died at age 23” Brit read out of a big book we found sitting inside the church outside.

“Too young” I commented.

“Yea, find someone who's had time to cook” Dean added.

“Well…there’s Sister Mary Eunice. Uh, fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60” Sam read.

“Sounds political” Dean said.

“Power corrupts” I added. “Here, let me see” I said, taking the book from them. I shut my eyes lightly and the wind began to blow the pages until it stopped on a certain page and I pointed to a name. “This one. “Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness” I said, shutting the book and handing it back to Sam.

I led them to the plaque that had her name on it. “Well…get to smashing” Brit said. “Alright. Let's bone this nun” Dean said and we all just stared at him, making faces. Ew. “Sorry” he said and then used the mallet to start smashing.

There was something incredibly wrong stealing a nuns bone but it had to be done. We got back to Rufus’ cabin and tried summoning Crowley…but he wasn’t showing up. Something was wrong…. And then there was a knock at the door. It was Meg. “You deal with him. I can't anymore” she said as she came walking in.

“You might want to be more specific” Dean told her.

“I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here” She was talking about Cas.

“Why?”

“Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first” Dean sulked and then looked at me for help.

But all I did was point at him and smile in amusement. “Yea and your boyfriend second, sweet cheeks” Meg added.

I furrowed my eyebrows at her and Dean swung his arms toward the door, gesturing for me to go out first. “Fine” I sighed and walked out as he followed.

We walked over to Cas who was sitting in the car, listening to some fruity song. “Hey there” I spoke sweetly. He waved with a happy smile. Dean and I straightened our backs, looked up at the sky, sighed, looked at each other and then back at Cas.

“So Cas uhh what’s the word?” Dean asked.

“Well, Dean, I've been thinking. Monkeys are so…clever, and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?”

I raised my eyebrows up at Dean. “Not very” he answered and I giggled under my breath.

“Hey Cas, do you want to come inside and tell us what's going on?” I asked and suddenly we were all back inside. I held my stomach lightly. I hate when he does that.

“Now, you understand I don't participate in aggressive activity” he assumed as he picked up the bone and sniffed it.

“Mm. Sister Mary Constant. Good choice”

“Why'd you go to Meg, Cas?” I asked him.

“When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers and fruit. Flowers come first, obviously. But I heard nothing from them”

“You heard nothing from who?” Brit asked.

“The Garrison”

“What happened to the Garrison?” Sam wondered.

“Well, finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look…to the home of the Prophet. You know, Leviathan can kill angels. There's a reason why Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the Piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison: dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding”

“Um, I‘m sorry but if the angels are dead, where's Kevin?’ I demanded. “I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys. But where would I put them all?”

“Cas, focus!” I clapped in his face. “Is Kevin alive?”

“I don't want to fight” He looked at me with sad, scared eyes.

I took a deep breath. “No, I know, it’s just…we’re worried” I said gently.

He hesitated slightly and then found the courage to look me in the eyes. “They took him. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now”

“Wait. Hold on a freakin' minute” Dean snapped.

“I feel much better” he smiled.

“Guys, what's all that?” Meg asked, pointing to the spell for Crowley.

“We called Crowley” Sam said.

“You what?”

“Don't worry. He never showed”

“What do you mean never…”

“Do you see him anywhere? He stood us up” Dean said.

“Well, I'm sorry about that, but I'm outie. He could still sh…”

“Show up at any time. Hello, boys. Girls. Sorry I'm late. This is an embarrassment of riches” Crowley said as he popped into the room. “Stay, won't you. There's really nowhere to run” he said to Meg.

She tried for the door but he popped up in front of her. “Don't even think of smoking out, pussycat. I've got eyes all over the place”

“Leave her be” Cas ordered.

“Castiel. When last we spoke, you…well, enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?”

“I…don't know. “Well, do you want to be? Cause I can help with that”

“Alright, that’s enough” I spoke up.

“It's enough when I say. I came here to help you. I find out you've been lying to me, harboring an angel, and not just any angel, the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth”

“Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?” Meg said even though I could tell she was scared shitless being in the presence of Crowley.

“You bore me. You know that? You have no sense of poetry. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” he said to Cas.

“Well, I'm still uhh honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to Heaven. I…keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have…trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and…miracles, really” Cas explained.

Crowley exchanged a look with me and Dean but really what could we say? This was the new Cas. “What are you talking about?”

“Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess. Here. I can offer a token, if you like” He held out a bag with some kind of yellow substance in it. “It's honey. I collected it myself”

Crowley looked at us again, incredulously. “You're off your rocker. He's off his rocker, is that it? Karma's a bitch, isn't it?” He helped himself to a glass of whiskey on the table.

“Look, did you come here to donkey-punch your old grudges or to help us end Dick? Pick a battle” Dean said.

“Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both. But where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile…a prezzie” he said as he took out a tube of blood from his pocket.

“Really? Just boxed-up and ready to go?” Brit asked.

“I'm a model of efficiency”

“Is that right? Then why were you late?” Sam glared.

“Dick had me in a devil trap. He's not an idiot. He knows what you four are after”

“So what did he offer you?”

“A fair deal. In exchange for giving you the wrong blood. It's demon, but is it mine?” He paused. “It's my blood. Real deal”

“And why should we trust you?” Dean asked.

“Good God, don't. Never trust anyone. A lesson I learned from my last business partner” he gestured to Cas.

“All right. Give us the blood”

“Certainly. Oh, bonus. Meg, I'm gonna scoop you up, take you home, and roast you till you're jerky”

“But not yet. Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems he'd be upset at losing you. And the kids need Cas to get Dick. Don't they, Cas?”

“Oh, I…I don't fight anymore”

“Come on. Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly, you're vital” He tossed the vial of blood to Sam and then vanished. I let out a deep breath that I seemed to have been holding the whole time.

We mixed all three bloods together in with the bone and honestly nothing seemed to be happening…and Cas was no help obviously…all he was good at was making sandwiches…which wasn’t even good so I was starving. All we could do was hope that it worked and that Crowley wants Dick dead more than us. So when night fell, we went and sat outside Sucrocorp to stalk Dick. And it was so far, so good…until we started seeing multiple Dicks all over the building on the cameras that Sam had hacked into (thanks to Charlie’s program)…and then it got even worse when we saw Bobby possessing a maid from the last motel we were all staying in together.

“Okay, look, just wait here” Sam said and went to get out of the van.

“Are you out of your mind?” Dean hissed.

“You got the weapon, and eyes on Dick, plural. I'll take care of Bobby” he said and got out.

“Sam! Hey!”

“Shut up” He took off.

I sighed. “I’ll go after him” I said and raced after Sam before Dean or Brit could say anything.

By the time I actually caught up to Sam I saw Bobby (in the maids body) had him thrown up against the van and he was choking the life out of him. My eyes widened. "Bobby!" I yelled and he snapped his eyes over his shoulder at me as he kept his hand on Sam’s neck.

"Bobby, listen to me...I know you’re still in there. You’re going to get this girl killed and you’re about to kill Sam. Realize what you’re doing Bobby!" I pleaded with him.

"I do realize what I'm doing" he grunted and suddenly whipped out a stake and came lunging at me.

I guess I was in too much shock to really process what he was actually doing and before I knew it, he plunged the stake into my stomach and was reciting a language I couldn’t process. At that moment...I really couldn't tell if it was my body going into shock, causing me not to feeling anything...or that my whole body just went numb from the incredible white hot sharp feeling I was getting. Between that and the physical feeling I felt my body get from it already trying to heal itself...I felt lightheaded. I dropped to my knees and everything became blurry. I looked up and saw the maids body was now on the ground and a sad looking Bobby was now standing above me...and then he was gone. Then Sam was at my side within seconds, lifting me up with ease, asking me multiple questions I just couldn't seem to answer and I felt him carry me back to Brit and Dean...which is where everything seemed to spin even more.

"Melissa!" I heard Dean yell.

"What the hell happened..."

"It was Bobby...he lost control and…"

"Are you alright...?"

"Why isn't she responsive…?"

"I think she's in shock...she's healing herself though pretty fast..."

"Well obviously not fast enough..."

I was now in Dean’s arms, I knew that much. And I could pick out bits and pieces of their conversation and who said what...but I blacked out for most of it which was def not a fun time.

Brits POV

"Britney, start explaining" Dean suddenly said as we all rushed into the cabin and he set her down on the couch gently.

"Me?" I said incredulous.

"Why was Bobby after her? This was an intentional, clean cut. I know you know why" he raised his voice and got in my face.

I stood my ground and narrowed my eyes up at him as he tried to intimidate me. It wasn't working. I knew he was worked up because of Mel's condition but I didn't deserve to receive his anger and frustration...he still deserved to know though.

"Bobby knows another way to be Dick...an easier way. A way where he doesn't need to work to get the blood of all three...and he just needs one" His eyes widened.

"Melissa's blood can kill Dick?" Sam asked in shock.

"It's why Dick wanted her all this time...it wasn't for any kind of offensive weapon...it was for defensive protection. For himself. He wanted to be sure no one would ever try to use her against him...he just wasn't planning on a vengeful spirit to come back and haunt him"

Dean ran a hand down his face and began to pace. "Well...Bobby has the blood and is most likely going to kill Dick now. So it's over now right?" he asked.

I tried to hold back my tears. "There's consequences...whatever happens to Dick...could very well happen to Melissa" I felt my whole body shaking as I tried not to cry.

"Damn it, Bobby!" Dean grunted as he threw his fist at the wall, making cracks.

"What the hell is going on in here? Between the yelling and Mr Bug Eyes over here watching me the whole time I can't get any sleep" Meg came walking in.

"Not now, Meg" Sam sighed.

"What happened? Was there a battle?" Cas asked as he got close to Mel.

"Don't touch her...who knows what your bad joo-joo will do to her" Dean said, stressed as he separated him from her. There was a long silence.

“I think we need a cat” he said suddenly. We all just stared at him. “A cat might ease the tension in the room. And it could also make the cabin feel more homey”

“Crowley was pretty sure that you could help. Why?" Dean demanded, bypassing Cas’ child-like manor.

"I don’t know. I can't help. You understand? I can't. I destroyed...everything, and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?"

"No. We can't" he grunted, getting angry.

I moved to Melissa's side and held her hand. "Dean..."Sam tried.

"We can't leave it. You let these friggin' things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damn cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!" he scolded.

Cas walked closer to Dean, setting the plates down. "You know... we should play Twister" is what he said. We all exchanged a look and when we went to look back at Cas but he wasn’t there.

"Nice. You scared off the Empire's only hope" Meg commented. "Meaning?" I asked.

"It occur to you every one of those things was in Cas? He knows them. He can see past the meat suits"

"So, he'll be able to spot the real...fake Dick Roman" Sam said.

"Gold star, sugar-pants. Too bad he's Fruit Loops. You might've had a chance"

And suddenly Cas was back with Twister, playing himself. "Ya know...I'm out for just a few hours and you all have already screwed us all to hell" a weak voice came from Mel. Our eyes snapped to her. "And Cas is loonier than before" she added, making a face.

She groaned, arching her back. Dean and Sam rushed to us. "Try not to move so much, you aren't healed yet" I told her.

"Am I too good for Cas now?" she said lightly as a joke.

"Yes. You are" Dean told her seriously, taking his hand to his lips. This caught Cas' attention so he came over to us.

"Dean wished for me not to come near you because of my 'bad joo-joo'"

She gave Dean a look. "Dean, let the boy heal me. He can't possibly do any worse" she requested.

He hesitated but then stepped out of the way to allow Cas in. He placed a hand on her forehead and I watched as she made a quick recovery. And for a second...it made me think that we had our Cas back...but I knew deep down that we would never have the real Cas back. Things couldn't go back to the way they were. This is how they were now.

"Melissa, are you sure..." Dean started as she got right to her feet.

"Dean, I'm fine. Okay? See? Nothing" she said as she lifted her shirt slightly to show that not even a scar was there.

"Well I see something alright" he said suggestively.

I rolled my eyes as she threw her shirt back down and smacked him in the chest. But I could tell Dean was still concerned. "Why didn't you tell me about Bobby?" he asked her in a hushed tone like it was just the two of them in the room.

"Well there was really nothing to tell. Nothing said it would actually work and I didn't think he would really try to attack me for my blood" she laughed lightly, smiling. She looked at the rest of us. "Alright...let's take Dick down" she smiled.