Killing Me Slowly

I didn’t move…I didn’t talk…I don’t even think I was breathing. I just kept staring at the phone in his hand that he didn’t shut. He didn’t move either, he just kept staring down at the phone as well. I finally lifted my head and that alone took all my might. I stared into Dean’s eyes as he stared into mine and honestly, he looked like he was ready to cry…and I couldn’t hold the truth in anymore.

“I agree with Abbey. I never talked about it before but I have thought about how I’m in this mess because of you. But, then I think hey, I’m a Stern, I must be cursed because of my family tree being filled with the best hunters of all time and I try not to think that it’s your fault…but I do. And I’ve thought about leaving with Brittney and being on our own again, I’ve thought about it way before the apocalypse even started. I’ve even thought about taking Jesse and leaving while you were in your state of depression and you were drinking every night while at Abbey and Chris’…but I cant leave and ya know why?”

I twisted my whole body so I was on my knees, facing him. “Because I love you. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes and I hate you for making me love you so much. Six years ago, I would have never even thought about love or being in a serious relationship with somebody but then you just waltz in, I find out we were together, we couldn’t even remember it and then we act like we can just pick up where we left off…it doesn’t work like that, Dean. It’s not supposed to”

“But, Melissa…that just shows how Abbey’s wrong and we are meant to be together if we can just pick up where we left off even if we cant remember how we left off” he babbled slightly.

I saw more tears build in his eyes as his face was pained. It broke my heart seeing him like that but I couldn’t stop. “I don’t know, Dean…and now Abbey’s filling out papers to get full custody of Jesse that we already signed because we didn’t know all of this was going to happen…we didn’t know about how Sam and Brittney were just going to throw themselves to Lucifer and we didn’t know we would end up going to live with my step sister, her husband and our son for a year just to have our brother and sister come back from Hell with no explanation…"

"So since we were so ignorant, we just gave up our son, just like that…and I cant help but wonder if it’s because you influenced me somehow to do that or just because I’ve been going even crazier ever since we met…but you do influence my decisions… a lot…and you and Sam have changed me…and before six years ago, I would’ve smacked myself for this…”

Then, I just clenched my teeth together and squeezed my lips together so I would stop. He continued to just stare into my eyes as a tear slipped down his cheek and pain was written all over his face.

The only thing I could think to do, without spilling anything else, was just get out of the car and walk toward the house and walked inside. I wrapped my arms around my stomach as I went looking for Sam and Brittney. Dean found us minutes later and I could tell he wasn’t up to even be around me right now but he tried to push away the feeling as he told Brittney and Sam that we had to talk. I kept quiet and held back a bit, afraid I would just blurt out anything at any second. He asked them why they just stood there while the vamp attacked him. They said that they froze. Which didn’t make sense at all because they’ve both been Terminator since they got back…but they stuck with that story and explained how they feel terrible and how they didn’t understand how Dean could even think they meant for it to happen. But, I didn’t believe them…and it got me on edge since they would have to be forced to tell the truth…but what they said…just wasn’t the truth. I couldn’t just call them out on it though, what proof did I have?

So, we got back to the motel to do some more research. Sam and Brittney had found a small box under the girl’s bed and pulled out a cat’s skull, grains of paradise seed and a double shoe string. Mix those things together and you got yourself a summoning spell for the goddess, Veritas and anyone who asks aloud for the truth, they invoke her. She just doesn’t give the truth though, she slams you with it…Dean and I found that part out the hard way…and she continues to slam you with the truth until you kill yourself and gets her tribute so if we didn’t stop this chick, Dean was going to be next on the menu. Dogs were this bitch’s Akeley’s heel and she was an attention whore, she wanted nothing more than to be worshiped. What’s the 21st century version of speaking truth to the masses, you might ask: well it’s the news of course.

So, the boys left to head to the news station and get some tape footage for us to look in to. While they were gone, I was eyeing Brittney while I was on one bed and she was on Sam’s laptop on the other bed right next to me. She glanced up at me a few times and I tried to make it look like I wasn’t staring her down and I was just reading my book. She sighed.

“Is there something you want to get off your chest, Mel?”

“I’ve been getting things off my chest all day” I sighed, sadly.

“What happened?” she asked as she shut the laptop, giving me her full attention.

“Well, you know how Dean has that truth curse thing, now?”

“Yea…?”

“I kind of gave him the truth earlier today…and it was really brutal…”

“What’d you say?”

“Well, to sum it up, I told him that I blame him for everything…for putting me through huge messes that happened in the past, for losing Jesse to Abbey and Chris…”

“You’re losing Jesse to Abbey and Chris?” she asked and she seemed to be really incredulous.

“Yea…it’s a really long story…

“Well, I’m sorry, hon” she said, acting sincere.

I just continued to eye her. “Yea…today just isn’t a good day…but that isn’t the only reason…how was it possible for you and Sam to lie to Dean back there when he asked about how you guys just stood there while the vamp attacked him?”

She seemed slightly taken back…and I think that was real. “What are you talking about?”

“Brittney, you know I know things…especially when someone’s lying…and you and Sam…you guys lied your asses off back there…and I don’t know how…”

“Well, I don’t know how we could’ve, Mel. I mean, Dean has the curse, how could Sam and I have lied…and why would we?” she narrowed her eyes at me as she stood to her feet.

I narrowed mine at her as I stood to my feet as well. “I don’t know. You tell me” I hissed. Then, we were silent, just staring each other down.

“Hey…everything okay in here?” Sam voiced slowly as him and Dean walked back into the room.

We didn’t move. “Yea…” she murmured. “Just peachy” I added, venomously and we just turned away from each other.

I looked over at Dean and saw he was holding a bag of doughnuts. He held them up, gesturing to them and nodded his head to get me to walk over to him. I walked over to him slowly and cautiously as a gentle smile started to form on my lips and he handed me a coffee. Before I took a sip though, I smelt sharpie marker, looked down at the cup and saw it had the words “I’m so sorry” written all over it. I laughed under my breath slightly and shook my head. He doesn’t say sorry very well and he knows I love coffee so this is how he apologized…and it may not seem like much but for him? It’s a very sweet gesture.

“What? No flowers and chocolate?” I joked quietly.

He put a finger up to me and held up the bag again. He opened it so I could look inside and I saw two red roses and chocolate covered strawberries…which was definitely better than just chocolate. I raised my eyebrows as my eyes widened slightly. He put a finger to his lips and used his head to gesture over to Brittney and Sam. My favorite flower and my favorite snack…and coffee and doughnuts…what can I say, I’m my own kind of cliché. I started to shake my head.

“I don’t understand what you have to be sorry for”

“For making you feel the way you feel…”

“No…I’m sorry” I whispered. “Forget about it” he said, kissing my forehead before walking over to Sam and Brittney and I just laughed at him under my breath.

I looked in the bag again and smiled. Six years ago, I never would have guess that Dean Winchester had a sweet side to him…and now that I think about it, six years ago, this would’ve been Sam giving this kind of stuff to Brittney. Which brought back my thoughts about them and I eyed them as they just had their eyes glued to the laptop, watching the tapes for the next past hours. The sun began to rise, Dean brought us breakfast…more time past and he had to get us lunch as well…as Sam and Brit never took their eyes off the screen for a second.

Dean and I shared looks and dirty glances from across the room. It was almost like when we first started out flirting with each other, like it used to be…and then my thoughts about what I said to him back in the Impala came flooding back and it made my smile falter. What I said was pure cruelty and I’m actually shocked that I felt that way…or feel that way. I noticed he was now giving me a weird look…a weird look that showed concern…but then barking filled my eyes and my eyes snapped to the laptop.

“Wait, rewind” I said quickly and crawled over to them. Sam obeyed and rewound the tape. “Zoom in on that…check it out” I said as he zoomed in on the woman’s face.

A dog started to bark as it got in the shot of her trying to do the news and she nonchalantly glared at the dog as her eyes suddenly glimmered a blue color. We got our goddess.

Night fell again and we headed out and waited for her to get in her car and we followed her to her home. It looked pretty normal from the outside but I was sure it was chock full of creep on the inside. Sam pulled out the jar of dog’s blood to dip our knives into it…I didn’t even want to know where he got it though. So, we just headed inside, being quiet and cautious. It was actually a really nice house…there was no creep to be found though…until a cat jumped down to us and we followed it down to some kind of tiled basement. There, we found a tiled portrait of the Goddess, along with limbs spread out, rotting bodies all over the place…the place reeked with death.

“You came for dinner” a voice flowed.

I felt her vibrations as she went to swing her leg at me so I ducked and she got Sam instead. He flew across the floor. Then, she punched Brittney, kicked Dean down and slid her leg under mine. It was all in one swift motion that I couldn’t keep up and I felt my head hit something hard and darkness overtake my body.

~~

I felt myself starting to come to and when my eyes opened, I saw the room was spinning sp I shut my eyes tight and felt blood start to dry from a spot in my skull. I noticed I was tied to a poll with Dean where Sam and Brittney were tired to a poll right next to us.

“Sit tight, you’re all up next” Veritas said as she went over to a dead body on a table.

She was a young, pretty girl, wearing clothing that reminded me of Egypt…I got distracted when I saw her pull out the dude’s tongue and take a bite out of it. She turned to face us as she made a sound of pleasure.

“Mmmm…the tongue is the tastiest part. It's where the lies roll off. I cannot wait to eat yours. I mean, I've seen liars before, but you four? Gold standard”

“Point of professional pride” Dean commented, breathing heavy.

“I wouldn’t be so cocky if I were you, Dean. You know what happens to liars, right? The truth comes along and…” she just shrugged and smirked as she made her way over to us and squatted down in front of him.

“So while you still got your tongue, god knows you got an ear full, I think it’s your turn to spill some, how about we play a little truth…or truth. What should we ask Dean first hmm something personal about you? Hey, Dean, I'm curious. What do you really feel about your brother?”

“Better now. As of yesterday I wanted to kill him in his sleep. I thought he was a monster, but now I think…”

“Now you think what?”

“He's just acting like me”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s the gig. Covered in blood until you’re covered in your own blood. Half the time you’re about to die, like right now. I told myself I wanted out. That I wanted a family…”

“But you were lying”

“No, but what I'm good at is slicing throats. I ain't a father, I'm a killer. And there's no changing that, I know that now”

“And Melissa…how do you feel about that?”

“A little angry and annoyed…also relieved though…?”

“How so?”

“I was never meant to be a mother. I’m not cut out to be one. I’m not good at it. I’m good at hunting. I have the skill and the instinct for it. I don’t want to be good at it but I am. I’m in the same boat as Dean and even though I may blame him or want to blame him for everything, I know it’s my fault. It always is. I’m a terrible mother, a horrible sister…but I’m a good hunter…I’m a good liar”

“I can feel that on you…” she smirked at me. “And how do you feel about Sam and Brittney, over here?”

“I don’t know what to do with them…I cant try to kill them in their sleep cause they’ll find out somehow and might try to kill me and I cant have someone else on my back right now…but I cant trust them. I know they lied to Dean today even when it was impossible to do so and Brittney keeps trying to lie to me and keep up her act but I can tell when she lies…I can tell when they both do”

“Hmmm…” she stood to her feet. I just hung my head, trying to hide my eyes from everyone. “Well, lets just see why that is…how do you two feel about getting the band back together?” she asked, squatting down to their level.

They glanced at us. “Look…what we do is hard…but we watch out for each other…” Brittney started. “And that’s what’s important…and that’s the truth” Sam added.

I watched Veritas, though, as I saw how her whole face lost it’s pride and control. “No…no it’s not” she whispered as her eyes widened.

“You said it yourself, we cant lie” Sam reminded her. “How are you doing that? It’s not possible! You’re lying to me!” she clenched her teeth.

I could hear her self confidence leaving her as panic was overriding her body. “No we’re not” Brittney said. “What are you? What are they?!” she snapped her head at me and Dean.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Really? I doubt that. I doubt anything that comes out of your mouths right now. You’re both not human”

“What?” Dean whispered.

“You didn’t know that? Now that I believe” Then, all of a sudden, Sam broke through the ropes and punched her away from him.

They started to fight and Brittney jumped up to take her own swings at her but Veritas grabbed her by the hair and swung her around into the wall. Sam attacked her but she got him on the floor and started to choke him. I quickly used my feet to get a sharp pipe in front of us, I slid it to my hands, cut us out of the ropes and jumped up so I could stab Veritas in the back with it. She spun around and hissed at me as a long tongue came out of her mouth as her eyes turned into ovals and her features reminded me of a snake. I jumped slightly but then Sam stabbed her in the heart with his knife. She fell over and was dead.

Sam pushed her off him and stood up as Brittney came over to us and stood side by side with Sam. I staring them both down when honestly, I was kind of scared of them and Dean pulled out his knife and got in front of me in a protective manner as he was pointing it at Sam and Brittney.

“Dean, it’s us” Sam tried as he started to back up, causing Brittney to back up as well as Dean pushed forward. “You are not my brother…and you are not my best friend” he hissed at them.

“Just listen, Tough Guy” Brittney tried.

“What are you?!”

“It's us, Dean! Look. Please, just at least let me explain” Sam said.

“Why the hell should I believe anything you say?”

“Okay, okay, you want the truth? Here it is…” Brittney said and her eyes met mine but I didn’t move, I just waited. “God's honest. She was right…you were right, Melissa. There's something wrong with me and Sam…”

“Something really wrong. We've known it for a while. We've lied to you, yeah. And...we let you get turned by that vamp. Because we knew there was a cure, Dean. And we needed in that nest! And I knew you could handle it!” Sam explained.

I pushed myself forward in front of Dean with my own knife in hand. “Handle it?! He could’ve died! He could’ve killed Jesse!” I hissed, grinding my teeth, ready to just slash both of their throats right then and there.

“And that should stop us cold. But…”

“We just don't feel it” Brittney finished. “You what?” I narrowed my eyes as I just stared at them, incredulous.

“Ever since we got back…we’re better hunters than we've ever been! Nothing scares us anymore! 'Cause we can't feel it! We don’t distract each other anymore because we don’t feel anything toward one another…” Brittney said and maybe I heard some sorrow in her voice, like she wanted to feel something for Sam.

“We don't know what's wrong with us. I think...we need help” Sam finished.

I just continued to stare at both of them. Then, I slowly set my knife down on a shelf, without moving my body; just my arm. I saw how they both seemed to be relieved and became less tense and I felt Dean’s eyes on me, trying to figure out what I was doing and we were all completely silent. But, then, I just completely snapped.

I lunged at Sam so we both flew to the floor and I was on top of him swinging my fists at him like no tomorrow. He blocked some of them but most of them, I got clear shots of his face. Dean wrapped his arms around my waist and yanked me off before I could do more damage though. Sam went to stand up but Dean took over and started swinging at him as well. So, then, I put a hand on Brittney’s shoulder to spin her around before she could help Sam and I punched her into a bunch of other shelves. She almost fell to the floor but I grabbed her by the hair, punched her in the other direction so she flew into the wall. I stalked over to her as she was trying to stay standing.

“Mel, please…”

But, I ignored her pleading, grabbed her by the shirt and just punched her repeatedly. I even heard something crack. Her blood covered my knuckles and all over her face, even on her clothes. She looked all messed up. I just stared at her for a moment as I felt her body go limp and I let go of her so she fell to the floor and I just stared down at her unconscious body on the floor.