Fat

I’ve made up from not getting rid of my dinner last night when Marissa was here. I haven’t eaten anything today, even though Mother made pancakes for breakfast, and kept some leftover pizza aside for me for lunch. I threw them in the outside bin when Mother wasn’t looking.

I’m not going to eat dinner either. It’s chicken parmigiana. Is she trying to make me fatter?

I’m just going to tell her that I feel sick. It isn’t a lie. I really do feel sick. I’m going to have to get used to feeling this way though, because I know that feeling sick is going to help me in the long run. It means I’m hungry, and if I don’t start feeling better, it means I’m not feeding my stupid, fat stomach, and by not feeding it, it means I’m going to lose weight. Just what I want. I’ll get used to it soon enough. By the time I’m thin, I won’t even notice the sick feeling anymore. Perfect.