Fat

Mother just told me that Grandmother is coming soon to stay with us for a few days. Fabulous. Just what I want; someone else to remind me that I need to lose weight. Mother always tells me not to take what Grandmother says to me and about me to heart, because Grandmother is always very critical of everyone. I usually don’t listen to her at all, but this time, I know she’s right, and I’m going to pay attention to everything she tells me if it’s going to help me lose the weight and keep it off.

I’m just glad she didn’t see me today.

I feel so ashamed of myself and of my lack of self control. Mother bought home a strawberry cheesecake after work today.
“As a treat,” she said.
A treat. Yeah.
I ate two big slices.
And I didn’t throw them up, because I liked the feeling of food in my stomach and the sweetness of the cake on my tongue.
Mother tsked but didn’t say anything.
But I knew what she was thinking. She was thinking; how could she put up with having such a disgusting pig with a severe lack of self control for a son for much longer if all he does is eat her out of house and home?

I know that’s what I’d be thinking of me if I were in her position.