Fat

I didn’t realise how much work is involved in Year 10 schooling. I’ve had so much homework and assignments that I haven’t been able to write for a few days. It’s the afternoon now. I’m glad. I can have some time away from Dustin’s constant torments. Since the first day, they seem to have gotten worse. I think it was because he was still mad about that boy saving me. Speaking of which, I haven’t seen that boy since, even though I’ve been looking for him around school as much as I can. Maybe I just made him up in my head? I don’t know.

We had PE yesterday. It reminded me why I decided I needed to lose weight in the first place. I haven't been able to get to the bathrooms during lunch to throw up my food that Jake practically forced down my throat because he noticed I wasn’t eating. I had to leave it all in my stomach until I got home and by that time, it was already mostly digested and I couldn’t throw it up. Then Mother forced dinner down my throat, which luckily I was able to throw up, but I still had two meals stuck in my stomach all day, since I didn’t have time to get rid of breakfast either in the mornings.

Anyway, because of that horribly eventful PE lesson, I’ve decided that I need to be stricter with myself. At lunch time tomorrow, I’ll escape from Jake and get rid of my lunch. I’ll be “sick” for dinner. I can do this.

I won’t be teased by Dustin in the change rooms much longer. I won’t have to look at all the other boys around me and wish I had their bodies, because I will have a body like theirs myself. After PE, the cruel and sadistic teacher made everyone go and take a shower after playing soccer for an hour non-stop. It was bad enough that Dustin teased me when I was running after the soccer ball, but it was torturous when we had to strip off entirely and take a shower in the open shower block with everyone else. Dustin strutted around like a peacock, completely nude and not giving a damn. And why would he? As much as I hate him, I couldn’t help but notice that he has a gorgeous body. And then there’s me. As soon as I stripped off, I wish I didn’t. I wish I just ran from the bathroom and risked getting in trouble. Dustin pranced up to me. He grabbed a handful of fat. He laughed loudly enough to catch all the other boys’ attention. They all started laughing too, except for Jake, who marched up to Dustin and pushed him away from me. Jake has a beautiful body too, although I only saw the top half unclothed. I grabbed my clothes, pulled them on and ran out, crying like a baby. I went into the nearest bathroom and shoved my fingers down my throat. It felt good to be back in control. I will have a perfect body like everyone else. I will make sure of it.