Fat

I woke up at 5am this morning, totally flipping out about tonight. I had so many questions running through my head and no answers to them. I had no idea what to do. So I just sat in bed for ages slowly going crazy. When I say ages, I mean ages.

Jake phoned me at 3 o’clock and I hadn’t moved from my bed except to go to the toilet. He threw a fit when I told him I was still in bed.

“What the f*ck do you think you’re doing? Lucas is picking you up at 6:30! Why the f*ck are you not up?! Get up, right now, while I’m still talking to you. Go on! Do it!” he said – well, yelled.

I did as I was told. He made me tell him what clothes I was going to wear for the date, and he seemed pleased with my choice. It wasn’t anything fancy. I chose the newest pair of jeans that Marissa made me get. They’re dark grey skinny jeans. I think I look hideous in them. No fat person should wear skinny jeans, but Marissa insisted I get them for a “special occasion”. A date with Lucas is a special occasion. I chose a red, white and black plaid shirt and an old pair of Converses that once belonged to Marissa a few years ago. It wasn’t too dressy, but Jake said we wouldn’t be going anywhere that was too fancy. I asked him where Lucas was taking me, but he wouldn’t tell me. What a meanie!

I think Jake noticed how nervous I was, even over the phone, and asked me what was wrong.

“I…What if he wants to… kiss?” I whispered the last word, and then wondered of Jake heard it. He did, and he chuckled.

“Kiss him back, dumbass”

“I don’t know how…”

“What?! What do you mean, you don’t know how?”

“Exactly what I said, Jake. I don’t know how. Lucas was my first kiss ever. I don’t…I just…”

“Okay, okay Caleb. Calm down. You’ve just gotta relax, man. Let your instincts take over. It’s really not that hard”

Great. Very helpful advice, Jake. NOT.

Eventually Jake got sick of my stressing out and we said goodbye.

Mother came in to my room just before I was about to go head into the bathroom to take a shower and tried to get me to eat something, seeing as I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch, but I told her that we were going to eat out, and she left me alone.

I took a quick shower and got dressed. That was at 4:15. I’ve been sitting on my bed for an two hours and forty minutes. Lucas should be here in five minutes. I swear I’m hyperventilating. I’ve never been more scared of anyt –

He’s here.

I’ll be back later.

---

Oh my gosh!

I feel like screaming right now, but Mother and Father are sleeping. That’s right. I, Caleb Johnson, just walked in the door at 11:45pm. And this is after an amazing date with the most perfect man in existence.

After I said goodbye to Mother and Father, I ran out the door and found Lucas standing around my side of the car, holding my door open. I blushed right away, and he smiled.

“Hi, beautiful. You look gorgeous. I’d kiss you, but your parents are watching”

I groaned (not about the prospect of being kissed, but because my parents were watching out of the front window), making Lucas laugh under his breath.

Lucas let me pass him and sit down in my seat before he made sure all of me was in the car, and then shut the door and walked around to his side of the car. He hopped in and began driving right away. Then he stopped about 200 metres down the road. I had no idea what he was doing, and I was about to ask him, but he just leaned over and kissed me. As usual, I was subdued into speechless-ness. (Is that a word? I don’t think so, but I’ll leave it in there.)

“Just had to do that” Lucas told me, and then continued driving until we ended up parked in front of a nice Italian restaurant, L’Arancione. Why it’s called The Orange, I’ll never know, but it’s a nice place. Lucas walked up to the waiter and spoke to him very formally, which made me giggle for no reason. Lucas smiled at me, and took my hand when the waiter grabbed two menus and motioned for us to follow him. He led us to a small two-seater table, and as soon as we were seated, asked if we would like any drinks. I asked for water. Lucas asked for a Coke and the waiter walked off.

Then Lucas and I began chatting. We spoke about lots of different things; family, friends (or, in my case, lack of. Up til this year anyway), Lucas’ job, favourite things, past relationships (that was an easy one for me to answer, but Lucas had a much longer answer for that one. He’s had four boyfriends and a girlfriend before. He said none of them were really serious though). We talked about everything and anything all through dinner, since as soon as the waiter came back with our drinks; he asked us if we were ready to order. Lucas ordered a pepperoni pizza; I ordered the low-fat fettuccini carbonara. Lucas looked at me a bit strangely but didn’t say anything when I ordered.

So yeah, we talked and talked and talked, and it was really nice. Then, once Lucas had paid the bill and we were in his car again, I expected him to take me home, but instead we drove for half an hour to get to the cinema. I wanted to at least pay for my ticket, to make it a bit fairer, but Lucas wouldn’t let me, and asked for two tickets to the romantic comedy that was playing. I can’t even remember the name of it, but it wasn’t very good. Lucas had his arm around my shoulders during the entire movie, and kissed me twice at random times. I’m just glad he couldn’t see my red face in the dark. I wish I knew why he likes me… He’s so perfect and I’m just…me.

After the movie we headed home, both complaining about how terrible the movie was. Lucas made me laugh when he did an impression of the main male character, and then he told me my laugh was cute. He made me blush again.

Lucas pulled over about 200 metres away from my house again. He leaned over right away, and kissed me hard on the mouth. It surprised me, and I was about to pull away as a reflex reaction, but then I remembered what Jake said to me on the phone this afternoon and tried to stay calm and go with my instincts. When his mouth started moving on mine, I tried to copy his actions. It felt really awkward. I had no idea if I was doing it right or not. Then I felt that pressure on my lip again and jumped slightly, but still kept contact. I felt it a couple more times until Lucas took hold of my chin and pulled down gently, making my mouth open. It was his tongue yesterday! And he stuck it in my mouth. It touched mine a few times and it made a squeak leap out of my throat. Lucas chuckled and pulled away slowly. I was bright red, I could feel it. How embarrassing, I can’t believe I made that noise.

Lucas started the car again and drove me to my house.

“I had a really great time tonight, baby” he said, smiling.

“Me too” I panted. I was still breathless from that kissing.

“I’ll see you on Monday, okay?”

I nodded, and opened my car door and took my house keys out of my pocket as I did so.

“Bye, honey”

“Bye, Lucas”

He waited until I was inside the house before driving off. It’s been half an hour now since he left. I still feel like I’m floating. I like him so much.

Oh, there’s one more thing I was going to write. Something very important that I should’ve written down before but didn’t.

Now, what was it?

Oh, yes. Now I remember. He asked me at the dinner table. I should’ve mentioned it when I was writing about dinner.

Oh well. I’ll just say it now.

…

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

I’m not excited or anything…