Fat

Lucas came over after school today, which was a surprise. He said the other day that he wouldn’t be able to come over because his shoot was supposed to continue on from Thursday afternoon, but the photographer called him while he was in English class and told him that it was off because the girl Lucas and Sammy were working with had some sort of family emergency and she had to fly interstate right away.

Lucas says he doesn’t mind that it was cancelled though. He said he’s happy he gets to spend time with me tonight. That makes me happy, too. And what makes me even happier is that Mother invited Lucas to stay for dinner tonight. She seems to really like him. She says that he’s a really good friend to me. I wonder how she’d feel about him if she knew just how good a friend he is…

We’re being called for dinner now. Lucas just kissed me on my neck. It made me shudder. How embarrassing. He seemed to enjoy the effect it had though…

Anyway. Be back.

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I hate my father. I really hate him. He is so ignorant and nasty and just plain horrible. At dinner (pasta and chicken and vegetables in a creamy sauce. It made me feel sick.), me and Lucas were talking about that Hilary Duff movie ‘Raise Your Voice’ for some reason. Lucas said that he thought the guy who plays Jay is hot. Mother didn’t really react, just nodded vaguely, but Father nearly exploded. He went bright red but tried to keep his voice steady when he asked Lucas if he was “a fag”. He didn’t keep his obvious disgust out of his voice.

Lucas was totally cool though. He just said “yes” clearly and with confidence. I think he wanted to add something along the lines of ‘do you have a problem with that?’ but decided not to make my father angrier.

Then he changed the subject, and invited me to go out to have pizza with him, Jake, Mel, Andi, Sammy, Alexis, Alex and Daniel tomorrow night. Of course I wanted to go, so I asked Mother. She said "yes" right away and even shushed Father when it looked like he was going to argue with her.

I can’t wait. It’ll be the first time I’ve been out of the house since I came home from the party Lucas threw for me.

Now Lucas is telling me to stop writing so we can have a “proper goodbye”. He means a good half-hour make out, but is too polite to say it. My stupid, horrible father is kicking him out in half an hour.

At least I’ll get to see Lucas for a good amount of time tomorrow without Mother or Father butting in.

He’s pulling my computer out of my hands…

I can't wait for tomorrow!