Fat

I went back to school yesterday. It was…well, I guess it was both good and bad.

It was good because I got to see my boyfriend and all of my friends again. I hadn’t seen them all in what felt like forever, but really, it had only just been a week or so since I’d last seen them. It’s funny how attached I’ve become to a group of people – friends, boyfriend – when before this year, I’d never had anyone give me the time of day at school, except to pick on me. I thought that I’d have a hard time trusting people outside of my family with my life and secrets thanks to Dustin and the crap him and his stupid mates put me through, but it’s so easy to feel comfortable around Jake, Andi, Mel, Sammy, Daniel and Alex. Alexis, I’m wary about. She never treated me any better than dirt – actually, she was one of the few who made sure to make my life miserable – before she got together with Jake. Now, she’s like…overly nice. Fake nice. I think it’s because of Jake. She wants to impress him or something. But anyway, she’s planning a big birthday party for next month sometime and she said I was invited. That should be interesting. I wonder how the popular kids will react to seeing me at a party thrown by Alexis…

Speaking of the popular kids, a.k.a Dustin and his gang of idiots, plus some of the thin, pretty, bitchy girls, they’ve all been kinda weird since I’ve been back at school. I walked past Dustin on the way to maths this morning and I expected him to shout out some horrible comment at me as usual. But instead, he just turned to the guy standing next to him, whispered something and they both started laughing as they stared openly at me. Of course, I turned bright red, and started walking quicker until I got to the classroom, found a desk and sat down. I’m really confused. I have no idea what they were laughing about. I don’t think anybody but my boyfriend and my friends know about why I was away for so long… I hope they don’t.

Anyway, it’s been kind of strange at home, too. Mother is trying her hardest to act naturally around me, but I can still see through it. She’s just nervous I think, or doesn’t know what to say or something like that. I told Lucas; he said that his parents and siblings were a bit like that too when he first came out but they got used to it after a little while.

He’s invited me over to his house on Saturday night when his parents and siblings will be home. I’m nervous. What if they don’t like me and make him break up with me? I don’t think I could handle that…

Oh, and Mother has an ultrasound tomorrow. She should be able to find out the sex of the baby. I can’t wait to know; I can’t wait to be a big brother.