Status: On hiatus - don't know if it'll ever be finished tbh

Fat

Sunday May 13 (later)

Oh my god. What the hell was I thinking, letting Lucas see me like that last night. He must think I'm horrible, disgusting. I'm hideous. 

I just took a shower and saw a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I just...how could he say I'm beautiful? I'm disgusting. I'm surprised he didn't throw up at the sight of me. I nearly did. I was dry heaving just then for 5 minutes straight before I realised that I didn't have anything in my stomach to throw up. I didn't have breakfast this morning, even though I told Mother I did. I felt all bloated and gross. I weigh 50 kilos now. My stomach sticks out. I hate my body. I bet Lucas hates it too. He was lying when he said it was beautiful. I know it. 
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miss.sobriety
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Lost

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