If Only
one/one
Malory stared at the empty room. The walls were bare and everything was boxed up. Tears came to her eyes. “Mal.” A voice said behind her. She turned and hugged her big brother, finding the strength to quit the tears. He hugged her back and whispered to her. “It’s ok, I’ll be home soon enough. You know that. It’s only six months and I’ll be home.” Malory nodded into his chest but neither of them let go. The thing that stung the most for the both of them, Malory and Kaden, was that their father wasn’t there to see him off. Her army strong brother was going to be stationed across the country, lucky enough there was peace in the world so there was no actual combat. Her lawyer of a father had always wanted Kaden to go into law as well, it was the only future he saw for his son. When his son found a different one for himself their relationship crumbled.
“I’ll miss you.” She said and felt the tears returning. He answered back in the way he always did, “I’ll miss you too Mal, but it isn’t that long really.” He sighed and let her go to look at her. “I’ll miss everything, especially this city. The tall buildings, the lights, this city that never sleeps. Some big apple this is, it’s only a tiny slice of the world.” Malory laughed and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater.
“Dad will regret this.” She breathed and watched his face harden. “He will. He loves you Kaden.”
“Not as much as his job.” He shut his eyes for a moment and his lips counted backwards from 5. Malory counted with him in his head. The best way to get rid of anger or fear, counting. “Malory just know I’ll come back, I’ll always come back for you ok?”
“I know.” She nodded and she heard a car honk in the distance. Her tears peaked and she stopped holding them back. He hugged her again. “Promise me it’s not dangerous.” Her muddled voice said.
“I won’t promise something I’m unsure about. Conflicts can begin quickly without notice. Watch the news for me Mal, and keep in touch.” She nodded again. He kissed her on the top of the head. She let him go and walked him to the door. He smiled and grabbed his bag, but his eyes were drowning as well. He waved and started towards the car.
“Kaden!” she called out.
“Yeah?” he looked back.
“I never hated you, I take back every mean thing I ever said to you as a kid.” She said with tears streaming down her face. No regrets, if anything happened she wanted him to know that.
“I know Mal, same here. I’m sorry.” He dropped his bag and hugged his sister one last time. “I love you Malory and I’ll be back in six months.” He smiled and they both waved from their windows. As the car drove off Malory watched it with her eyes. Her father was at work and her mother was driving the car. She was alone. She went back to her brother’s room and sat on the floor. It still smelled like him and a few of his things were there still. She smiled at the calendar hanging from the wall. A date was circled, his return date. She went over and looked at it. Six months only, that was all. Then he’d be back. By then Dad will have gotten over his wanting to join the army. They’d all be home as a happy family.
***
Malory woke from the dream and wished it a reality. She wished that was all, that there was nothing to worry about. Her mother sleeping beside her in their one bedroom apartment brought her back to reality. The picture of her brother hung on the wall, his flag below it. The letter frames next to the picture said he ‘fought honorably in Iraq’. He gave his life for the country he loved, and went to fight in the country that supposedly took his father’s own life. If only her only worry was to get by six months without him.
“I’ll miss you.” She said and felt the tears returning. He answered back in the way he always did, “I’ll miss you too Mal, but it isn’t that long really.” He sighed and let her go to look at her. “I’ll miss everything, especially this city. The tall buildings, the lights, this city that never sleeps. Some big apple this is, it’s only a tiny slice of the world.” Malory laughed and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater.
“Dad will regret this.” She breathed and watched his face harden. “He will. He loves you Kaden.”
“Not as much as his job.” He shut his eyes for a moment and his lips counted backwards from 5. Malory counted with him in his head. The best way to get rid of anger or fear, counting. “Malory just know I’ll come back, I’ll always come back for you ok?”
“I know.” She nodded and she heard a car honk in the distance. Her tears peaked and she stopped holding them back. He hugged her again. “Promise me it’s not dangerous.” Her muddled voice said.
“I won’t promise something I’m unsure about. Conflicts can begin quickly without notice. Watch the news for me Mal, and keep in touch.” She nodded again. He kissed her on the top of the head. She let him go and walked him to the door. He smiled and grabbed his bag, but his eyes were drowning as well. He waved and started towards the car.
“Kaden!” she called out.
“Yeah?” he looked back.
“I never hated you, I take back every mean thing I ever said to you as a kid.” She said with tears streaming down her face. No regrets, if anything happened she wanted him to know that.
“I know Mal, same here. I’m sorry.” He dropped his bag and hugged his sister one last time. “I love you Malory and I’ll be back in six months.” He smiled and they both waved from their windows. As the car drove off Malory watched it with her eyes. Her father was at work and her mother was driving the car. She was alone. She went back to her brother’s room and sat on the floor. It still smelled like him and a few of his things were there still. She smiled at the calendar hanging from the wall. A date was circled, his return date. She went over and looked at it. Six months only, that was all. Then he’d be back. By then Dad will have gotten over his wanting to join the army. They’d all be home as a happy family.
***
Malory woke from the dream and wished it a reality. She wished that was all, that there was nothing to worry about. Her mother sleeping beside her in their one bedroom apartment brought her back to reality. The picture of her brother hung on the wall, his flag below it. The letter frames next to the picture said he ‘fought honorably in Iraq’. He gave his life for the country he loved, and went to fight in the country that supposedly took his father’s own life. If only her only worry was to get by six months without him.