Close Your Eyes and I'll Kiss You; Tomorrow I'll Miss You.

Ryan,
There seems to be no end in sight for this war and every single day that goes by, I get more and more worried about you and more and more anxious for you to return. I turn eighteen next week, which means I could be drafted after school ends if I decide not to go to college. Both of my parents want me to go to college to avoid the draft, and probably so I can become a doctor or something while I’m at it. I’ve been considering it.

Not really much has changed around here. Spencer’s parents have been visiting your dad a lot lately. I think they think he’s lonely without you, which he might be. Spencer and I have been traveling as far as two hours in all directions to go to as many anti-war rallies and peace marches as possible. Dad’s started calling me a hippie. I’m not sure how far off that is. And of course Mom has been way too worried that I’ll get arrested or become a coke fiend or something. She’s also been dropping hints to try to get me to ask one of her friends’ daughters to the prom. I’m not sure how to tell her that I don’t want to go to the prom. I wouldn’t want to even if I could go stag. Besides, Spencer is going and bringing Hayley, so I’ll hear all about it from him. (By the way, I really hope that after prom, Spencer and Hayley decide to go steady because they are ADORABLE together!)

I know it’s not as easy for you to send mail now that you’re in Vietnam (and although I know this, I still get worried every time I don’t find a letter in my mail box) but write back as soon as you can, okay? I miss you. I love you. Please stay safe.

-Brendon.

P.S. Spencer sends his love. And tell Jon that both of us say hi and that we can’t wait to finally meet him!

~*

“Mom, relax! It’s not a riot, it’s a rally. Completely different thing,” Brendon argues, setting his fork down and staring directly at his mother across the dinner table.

“Rallies are what start riots!”

“No, Mom, wars are what start riots. And this is a peace march! But even if it does turn into a riot, good. Maybe it’ll knock some sense into this stupid country.”

“Brendon, don’t talk like that. And I don’t want you going!”

“Why not?! It’s not like this would be the first rally that I’ve gone to!”

“Yes, but these groups are a lot more radical than I think you’re leading me to believe!”

“So? That’s good! They should be radical! You should be radical! We should all be radical! You know, William is dead, Ryan is all the way in another country getting fucked up and this war keeps going on and on and nobody is listening!”

“Brendon! I will not tolerate you using that language in my house, and especially not towards your mother!” his dad interrupts.

“But I don’t understand why she won’t let me go!” Brendon snaps back.

“You aren’t going and that is that. And I will not deal with this attitude that you have going on right now. Now finish your dinner and go upstairs to your room and stay there for the rest of the night!” his dad orders.

“This is so unfair! I’m going to this rally!”

“Well, good luck getting there because you’re grounded from using your father’s car.”

“Fine!” Brendon says, standing up. “I’ll just hitchhike the whole way!” And before he can wait for a response, he’s stalking towards his room without even having finished his dinner.

~*

Saturday morning finds Brendon and Spencer on the side of the road, their thumbs jutted out trying to catch the attention of the passing cars.

“Maybe we should just go home. I mean, come on, Brendon. Nobody is even picking us up and you know both of our parents are gonna kill us if they find out we’ve gone,” Spencer says, trying to reason with his friend.

“No! Spencer, this is one of the biggest rallies that’s been around here, he have to go. Besides, my parents think they can control me and they can’t,” Brendon argues. Spencer sighs, giving up, because he knows that there’s no changing Brendon’s mind. “And look, these people are stopping!”

Spencer looks towards the road again and sure enough, there is a minibus slowing down and switching over to the lane closest to the side of the road. When the minibus stops right in front of them, a girl with long brown hair, adorned with a few braids, sitting in the passenger’s seat sticks her head out of the window and smiles.

“Where are you boys headed?” she asks.

“Um, we’re trying to get to the city for a peace march--”

“Hell yeah, man!” the guy driving says, grinning brightly.

“We’re on our way there,” the girl tells them, and jerks her head in the direction of the back of the minibus. “Come on, get in. We’ll get you there.”

Spencer and Brendon share a quick grin as the back door of the vehicle opens for them to reveal three more guys surrounded by a cloud of thick, white smoke. The guy who opened the door for them smiles, moving so that the two of them can get in.

“Hey, I’m Gabe,” he says.

“Brendon,” Brendon replied, then points to Spencer. “And this is Spencer.”

“Nice to meet both of you,” Gabe says, climbing into the second row of seats so that Brendon and Spencer can take the first row with one of the other guys. Gabe points to the guy sitting to his right and says, “This is Alex. That’s Ryland,” he says, pointing to the one sharing their row. “The driver is Nate, and that is Victoria.”

“Want some?” Ryland asks Brendon, holding out what looks slightly like a cigarette, but not really, and Brendon raises an eyebrow, looking at the smoking thing and up at Ryland, because he’s pretty sure he knows what it is.

“Um….what…is it?” he asks timidly. Ryland smiles, scooting forward so that he’s closer to Brendon while Spencer watches on, looking both a little bit worried and a little bit thrilled.

“Here, hold it like this,” Ryland instructs, handing the joint to Brendon, who takes it between his thumb and index finger and waits for the next direction. “Then bring it up to your lips and just kid of hold them there, yeah, like that. Now suck some of it in then just hold it there for a bit.”

Brendon does as he’s told and pulls the joint away from his lips. He holds it for a second before he coughs violently and the white, wispy smoke pours from his lips. Everyone in the van except Nate is watching him with encouraging smiles on their faces.

“Don’t worry, the coughing is normal the first time,” Gabe says, patting Brendon on the back. Brendon glances at Spencer, raising his eyebrows questioningly, moving the joint in his direction slightly. Spencer smiles, nods, and takes it from him.

~*

“So anyways, this guy, he’s, stop laughing! Listen to me!” Ryland is saying, trying to talk to Brendon and Spencer about something, but Brendon keeps giggling, interrupting him. They’re all stoned out of their minds and whatever Ryland is saying doesn’t even make sense to himself, but he’s trying to keep going anyways.

“He’s a great speech-giver--”

“Not like you!” Victoria giggles, interrupting Ryland once again.

“Well, no one interrupts Wentz!”

“Because he’s a good speech-giver!” Alex laughs, causing Gabe to practically fall on top of him in hysterics.

“Man! I wish Ryan was here,” Brendon giggles.

“Who’s Ryan?” Victoria asks, lighting up another joint.

“My sexy military boyfriend who was ripped away from me by the hands of Vietnam!” Brendon says dramatically. For a fleeting second after he realizes what he just said, Brendon panics because who knows what these people might think of homosexuals. But Victoria’s smile and the fact that Nate isn’t pulling over to kick him out makes him relax.

“Hey, calm down, man,” Ryland laughs, giving Brendon a quick pat on the back. “We’re all about love, no matter how unconventional it might be.”

“Without love, there will never be peace,” Victoria adds, nodding. “And we’re all fairly certain that Gabe’s had his fair share of gay hook-ups.”

“There’s no way to be certain!” Gabe laughs.

Brendon grins happily because, for a group of people that he had met while trying to hitch a ride, these people are awesome.