Beautiful Lie

A smirk tugged at my lips as I walked off stage after setting up and testing Matt’s drum set. I caught sight of Willow as she put one of Chris’ acoustic guitars back into it’s case and sitting it gently inside the trailer with the rest of the instruments.

“’ey Willow!” I laughed as I walked past her. She turned around abruptly and flipped me off before going back to her work.

As I continued even farther backstage I finally came across the dressing rooms, Bring Me the Horizon’s in particular. I walked in and saw everyone lounging around. Jona was sliding his guitar over his head as his guitar tech stood next to him. Matt had his drum sticks in his hands, tapping a beat on the table in front of him. Oli, my brother had a bottle of water in his hands. Matt Kean and Lee were talking while their instruments sat next to them.

I sat down on the arm of the couch that my brother was on and I held out my hand. “Yeh said that yeh wanted me to go find a store to get the drinks. I need money to do that.”

Oli nodded his head and lifted himself off of the couch long enough to pull some money out of his back pocket. “Try not to spend all of it, but if yeh must, yeh must. Before yeh go, find Josh an’ ask ‘im what kind of shit his band likes.”

I nodded and got up to leave the room. I smiled slightly to myself as I walked back to the stage where I was sure the guy of You Me at Six were hanging out. They usually hung out around the stage for a while after their set.
When I found Josh he was standing by the open trailer watching as two guys carried something in. As I walked up to him I noticed Willow sitting against the wall by him. She had her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms sitting on her knees and her head down on her arms.

I kept my gaze on her as I started talking to Josh. “Oli wanted me to find yeh and ask what yeh and yeh band want me to pick up for the party. I know what the guys like to drink.”

“Uh,” he mumbled and looking around while thinking. “I don’t know. We usually just get what’s the cheapest. Take Willow with yeh. I’ll send ‘er with some money. I don’t expect yeh to buy our booze.”

I had to hold back a laugh when I saw Willow snap her head up at the mention on her name. She just looked at Josh dumfounded. Her mouth was open slightly, but her eyes were huge.

“Wha-?” she sputtered. “No, Josh. I don’t wanna go with ‘im. I won’t go with him.”

Oddly enough Josh just rolled his eyes at her. “Get up, yeh goin’. It’s not e’s gonna rape yeh in an alley or somethin’. So ‘e took a couple of pictures of yeh. If I got upset every time someone took my picture I’d be dead by now.”

She didn’t respond, instead she just stood up and walked over to Josh as he dug into his pockets, looking for his wallet. “’ere’s around twenty pounds. Buy as much as yeh can, we need to stock up anyway.”

Willow snatched the money out of his hand and gave him an awful look before turning around and slipping out of the door that led outside. I gave Josh another look before following her.

“Tom!” he called and I turned around in the doorway. “Don’t piss ‘er off. I ‘ave to deal with ‘er when she’s mad. I just wanna ‘ave a good time tonight.”

I nodded, trying to get all of my ideas about how to annoyer her out of my head.

When I got outside I looked around for Willow and finally saw her in the distance walking toward the area we ate at earlier. I had to run to catch up to her, and when I finally did she shot me a glare before shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket and looking down at her feet.

“I’ll delete the photos if yeh want me to. I didn’t mean to make yeh this upset. If it really bothers yeh that much,” I said to her, trying to get her to look at me.

She looked over at me and shook her hair out of her face. “No yeh won’t. Don’t lie to me, Tom. I’ve only known yeh for a day and yeh already off to a bad start, don’t make it worse by lyin’.”

“Okay so maybe I won’t delete them. But I’m not gonna wank off to ‘em. I have more decency than to do that. Besides,” I said, turning this conversation in a different direction and smirking. “I bet if I could get on yeh good side, I could lay yeh in a ‘eartbeat.”

----

I sat my shot glass down on the table and mumbled something after I swallowed the shot. Nicholls halted in pouring me another shot but filled his glass up once more. Without putting the glass in the sink or rinsing it out so someone else could us it, I just left it on the table and walked away.

Someone had their ipod hooked up to a speaker system and I couldn’t tell you the name of the song even if I knew it, I was that drunk.

Then I spotted Jona. He was walking out of the bathroom, zipping and buttoning his jeans back up. Then he leaned up against the wall and took a deep breath before looking around for something, or possibly someone.

“I need to talk to yeh,” I said grabbing his arm and pulling me with him, where I didn’t quite know yet; somewhere where we would be alone. I needed to talk to him about Willow.

He didn’t resist when I started to pull him, he just went with me. “Tom, where are we going?” he asked.

I didn’t respond, instead I pulled him through the bunk room and into the back lounge, which to my surprise was completely empty. I sat down on the far end of the couch in there resting my elbows on my knees and put my face into the palms of my hands.

“You don’t think I’m a bad person, do yeh Jona?” I asked him, looking up to see him sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. He was looking at me like I was mental.

He shook his head. “No, not really why do yeh ask?”

“Because Willow apparently thinks I am. I don’t know why it fuckin’ bothers me so much but it sure as ‘ell does,” I stated bluntly, wanting him to help me but not coming out and asking for help.

“Stop takin’ photos of ‘er, then she might like yeh a bit more,” he said looking over to me. “I was talkin’ to Josh earlier and he told me what she told ‘im the other day. She thinks that yeh creep and that Oli’s loud and annoying. Or maybe she just has some kind of resentment towards you Sykes brothers. I don’t think she ‘as a problem with anyone else, just yeh two.”

“Well that’s just great,” I mumbled, utterly upset with myself. “Great, I’m gonna go.”

I left him there. I didn’t want to hear what else he had to say. If he wasn’t on my side with the issue than I had no reason to talk with him anymore. Clearly he wasn’t on my side anymore, because he was telling me to stop taking pictures of Willow. I didn’t want to stop taking pictures of her, she intrigued me.

Then I saw her. She had just gotten up from the table and was walking toward me. Well, she wasn’t walking toward me, for all I knew she thought I was a stalker. Or something like that. She didn’t like the fact that I was taking pictures of her.

When she passed me I grinned at her. She just shot me back a scowl and continued to walk past me. As I sat down at the table, most likely in the same spot that she just got up from, I stared down the hallway that she was walking down.

“Yeh want a beer?” Nicholls asked me pulling one from the fridge and offering it to me. I shook my head, something that I never thought that I’d do, and stood up getting curious as to why Willow was walking into the bunk room.

I stood up, knowing that I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing, and followed her. Staying far enough behind so that she couldn’t hear me walking or see me following her. She already thought I was a creep, I didn’t need her thinking that I was actually stalking her.

When I saw her crawl into a bunk I automatically tried to think of whose it was. There were enough people that shared our bus, all but one was being used, and that was the one above mine. She definitely wasn’t in that one.

It was Jona’s, I thought, completely excited that my drunk mind could function properly enough to remember that.

“What are yeh doin’ in my bunk?” I heard Jona ask and I almost jumped to the wall, not wanting to be seen by him. Because if he saw me, then Willow would definitely become aware of my presence.

“I’m sorry,” I heard her whisper. “I didn’t know anyone was usin’ it. All the others I found had shit in them.”

Then he said something that I couldn’t make out. But I did see her silhouette get out of the bunk and stand next to him.

“Yeh know Tom pretty well, righ’?” she asked.

He shrugged, “I know ‘im well enough. Why? What d’yeh wanna know ‘bout ‘im?”

“I want to know why the ‘ell ‘e’s so persistent with me. I thought that I made it clear to ‘im the night we met that I didn’t wan’ ‘im takin’ photos of me. And what does ‘e do? ‘e still fuckin’ does it! Is ‘e like this with everyone that yeh guys tour with? Or should I feel fuckin’ special?”

Then Jona laughed. “Yeh not blind are yeh? ‘Cause after hearin’ yeh say that, I think yeh might need to get yeh vision checked out, love,” he said, of course being sarcastic.

Willow didn’t think it was funny though. Or at least, she didn’t laugh with him. “What the fuck are yeh talkin’ ‘bout? Course I’m not fuckin’ blind.”

“Yeh might not like what I’m ‘bout to say, but trust me when I tell yeh that is the honest truth. Tommy ‘as a little crush on yeh. Well, I guess that it’s not that little. We’ve all noticed, except ‘im I think. ‘e still wants to deny it, wants to think that ‘e doesn’t like yeh. But ‘e does. I personally think that yeh would make a cute ass couple.”

Fuck no. He did not just tell her that I fancied her. If there was anyone on this whole earth that I could say that I didn’t want to be with, it was Willow.

It took her a few minutes to respond to him, but she sounds pissed a fuck when she did.

“Yeh were right. I didn’t like what yeh just said. ‘Cause it ain’t true. Tom does not fucking like me. ‘e doesn’t even know me. I prefer that he didn’t like me, it would just make my life more complicated. My life is already fucked up more than you could ever imagine.”

Even though I didn’t want her to think that I liked her, which I didn’t. It hurt me more that I imagined it would have to hear her say those words.

“What the ‘ell are yeh doin’ out ‘ere?” she asked, standing right in front of me. When she had gotten there, I didn’t know, but she had definitely caught me.

“Oh, yeh know. Just listenin’ in on yeh and Jona,” I said, trying to forget the conversation I had just heard them have. I don’t like Willow, that I know for sure.

She smirked at me, “Well yeh know what he said made sense. And the more I think ‘bout it, the more I come to the conclusion that maybe yeh do like me. What do yeh ‘ave to say about that?”

“I say that it ain’t true,” I said, and it was a lie truthful fact. I know damn well that I’m attracted to her, I don’t know why I keep trying to tell myself differently.

She kept the smirk going as she responded. “I think yeh bluffin’.”

“Then maybe this will clear things up for yeh. Yeh not gonna like it though,” I whispered, getting closer to her. Then, all at once, I grabbed her hips and pulled her roughly against me and kissed her as smoothly as I could while being drunk.

She grabbed my shirt and for a second I thought that she might be kissing me back. But when I felt her palms against my chest and her pushing me away, I knew that I was wrong.

When I opened my eyes and finally looked at her, I could have laughed if I wasn’t so scared as to what she might do. Her face was almost as red as a tomato and I bet that her hands were curled up into fists by her sides.

“You make me sick,” she spat then pushed past me and stomped to the other end of the bus, probably leaving.

Then I saw Jona walk out of the bunk room, with a smug look on his face. “I think yeh might ‘ave just thrown every chance yeh ‘ad with ‘er out the window, mate.”

I think that he’s right.